'AITA for wanting my MIL to move out after agreeing to let her live here?'

"AITA for wanting my MIL to move out after agreeing to let her live here?"

A little over 8 months ago my MIL (67F) came to us stating the house she was renting at the time was being sold and she had 2 months until having to move out. She then stated she is getting older, did not want to work anymore. We eventually agreed to let her move in down stairs in our home. She has a separate bathroom and living area, although shares the kitchen upstairs with us.

Since she has been here I feel like we no longer have our own space and I cannot relax in my own home. MIL has a quite harsh personality and tries to be involved in all of our business. She continues to ignore my boundaries. For example, uses my dog going onto our bed while I'm gone as an excuse to go into our room and continuing to do so after being told to stay out of our room.

Also, constantly asking us what our plans are, where we are going, what is in our packages ordered, personal life questions, etc. She often also ignores my rules when it comes to my child (7m) at times. These are usually small things, although I still find it frustrating. She does watch our son for 2 hours after school until I am off work 4 days a week.

This does cut down on childcare costs, although is more stressful than hiring someone. Our previous babysitter would usually make our son a healthy snack then take him outside to play, read books, or do other activities inside. MIL does the bare minimum, usually sitting our son in front of the TV until I get home and feeding him junk even after I ask her not to.

For context, my husband often works out of town and is not home to help address these concerns while they are happening. I have made my boundaries very clear and MIL continues to ignore these. Recently, we found out that we are expecting another child.

While we are very excited, this was not something we were expecting/planning. Having known our family would be growing, I would not have agreed to MIL moving in. The thought of dealing with this huge life change of another child with this living situation is stressing me. We also will no longer have any room for company to stay over once the nursery is set up.

I have talked to my husband about these concerns and that I would like to start the conversation of her moving out. With the expectation that she can continue living here until we can find a place that is affordable enough for her being on a pension. I would also like to add that she is a very independent and capable woman.

She has even been talking about finding a part-time job due to being bored since retiring 6 months ago. My husband thinks I am being too harsh wanting to ask her to move out after only living with us for 6 months. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Only-Breadfruit-6108 said:

It doesn’t take long to know it’s not working, the problem is that she won’t agree. Good luck. NTA.

awakeintears said:

NTA. I wouldn’t want someone nosey living in my house like that either or straight up doesn’t listen to me. Almost sounds like she’s taking your kindness for granted.

Spirited-Ad6144 said:

NTA. He’s not the one that deals with her most of the time. Even if it was harsh, it’s your home. Tell her to leave.

RustysGypsy said:

NTA, tell hubby that if he thinks it is too harsh then he needs to find a 9-5 job near home so he can be the one that has to deal with his mother on a daily basis, if he doesn’t agree to that then she has to move out.

Samwry said:

NTA. Do a small renovation and install a kitchen in the basement. That way she doesn't need to be upstairs all the time. Also, install a lock on the door leading from the basement to the rest of the house. She has her privacy, so do you. If she wants to visit, she can text or call. Good fences make good neighbors. Door locks make good privacy.

bakeacakeyum said:

NTA. It wasn’t your finest moment letting her move though.