'AITA for wanting to break up with my fiancé after I accidentally set fire to his house?'

"AITA for wanting to break up with my fiancé even if I caused the accident?"

So a month ago, I was at my fiancé's house. I was supposed to spend the week there. One day, he was still at work, and I decided to cook something. The important thing here is that his kitchen has two electrical socket (?? idk if this is good translation, sorry if not, i don't use english usually). I was using one, but I had to mix something, so I needed the other one too.

About two minutes after that, the mixer cable started getting warm and then smoke started coming out of the electrical socket. I unplugged the cable, but it was too late. There was a fire, not big but still scary. I immediately ran to turn off the power and then I managed to get rid of the fire, but I didn't know what to do next, so I ended up calling the fire department anyway.

They arrived quite quickly and helped me a lot, it ended up that when my fiancé showed up at the house, the firefighters were still here + the electrician.

Of course, I paid for all the damages and apologized to my fiancé, but he was still upset, and we had a big fight because he claimed that this electrical socket was always broken and I should have known ( I really had no idea) so I ended up going home.

A few days later, he called me and apologized. Generally, everything seemed to be returning to normal; we met up and talk, his kitchen and the rest of the house were fine, etc.

The thing is, there's one thing that's stuck in my head and hasn't let go. See: my fiancé has a dog. This dog was with me during the incident. When my fiancé came home, from the entrance until he reached the kitchen, he kept calling this dog's name, and he hugged his dog first.

I really can't stop thinking about it. He didn't know what had happened yet, but he never once called my name or paid any attention and once we started talking, it was immediately this argument. He never once asked if I was okay, if I had been wounded, etc.

On the one hand, I feel very selfish for making this about myself when it was my fault. On the other hand, thinking about it makes me think about other past events when he simply didn't care about me/cared very much about something else.

For example, there was a carnival in our town and we were walking down the stairs and I tripped. My hands and knees were all scraped up, but his first reaction was to ask, "Is the food okay?". Or when we were going on a trip, he was driving and I felt sick, but he didn't want to stop etc etc.

There are big gaps in time between these incidents, and it's not that we don't have good times and he never cares, but I feel like there's still a strange amount of it in our relationship, more than in other couples.

What do you think? AITA for dumping this guy? This is what commenters had to say:

ApocalypseThen77 said:

He blamed you for using the broken socket. No blame for himself for not fixing the broken socket, or at least putting some electrical tape over it so it couldn’t be used until it was fixed (very temporary measure only). NTA You should listen to your intuition.

PopcornyColonel said:

In addition to his lack of care and concern for you, he allowed you to think it was your fault? And he took money from you?

Nope. This is not the guy for you.

CrimsonIris6 said:

Dude, NTA all the way. The whole fire thing was a freak accident, no one's fault. And forgetting that, the dude checked on the dog before you? Priority check much? And those other examples are setting off major alarm bells. 🚨 Your feelings are valid, homie.

Respect is a must in every relationship, period. Sounds like he doesn't exactly have your back or prioritize your wellbeing. You deserve better. IDC if I get downvoted, this is my hot take.

Plane-boat-6484 said:

You are NTA. The fact this isn’t the only time he’s not put you before objects like food - is a huge red flag . He should have taken care to get the socket fixed or at least made it obvious that it was broken. These little bits of disrespect are all 🚩 for how he views you overall.

[deleted] said:

Unless the dog was able to phone the fire brigade and an electrician, he knew you were ok. However, I'll join in. He is a control freak and doesn't deserve you.

And OP responded:

I mean, the neighbor could have called them, or even if he assumed I did it, it still wouldn't necessarily mean I wasn't hurt, and that's what worries me. He didn't even think about that scenario.

Let's hope this OP takes everyone's advice....