'AITA for wanting to call off my wedding because of something my sister saw on my fiancé’s phone?'
"AITA for wanting to call off my wedding because of something my sister saw on my fiancé’s phone?"
My fiancé and I are supposed to get married in a week. Everything was going fine until a couple days ago when my sister told me she saw him texting a girl on Snapchat. She said it was definitely a girl’s name but she couldn’t see the messages because it disappeared before she could get a better look.
I confronted him about it and he completely brushed me off. He just said it was nothing and told me to stop overthinking. I asked if I could borrow his phone for a bit so I could see for myself, but he immediately refused. That alone made my stomach drop. He just kept saying I should trust him and that if I did, I wouldn’t even be asking.
I have been sick over it since. My gut is telling me something is off, and I feel like marrying someone I can’t trust is a huge mistake. I told him I was thinking of calling off the wedding and he acted like I was insane.
Now my entire family except for my sister is being really cold toward me. They keep saying I am being petty and overreacting and that I am about to ruin my own life over nothing.
I don’t know if I am actually being petty or if my feelings are valid. It is so close to the wedding and I am having a hard time making a decision. AITA if I call it off over this?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s post:
ALWAYS trust your gut.
BlushMints (OP)
I really wanna do but my family is being cold to me. How can I deal with them?
You don't owe them a sham marriage. Why aren't they up in arms at you potentially being cheated on?
OP, your fiance should basically show you the Snapchat and the girl he's been talking to. If he doesn't its a no go. If he is saying you should trust me, tell him if you marrying me you should have nothing to hide. Get on his case and get to the bottom of the Snapchat issue then you can be peaceful and know for sure what's going on and how to respond to that. Find out.......
Its already a bad sign he's refusing. If this is how he's going to be, can you live with that? It's not you messing up the wedding, it's HIM. Don't cave into your parents concerns, they don't have to live with him. This is so important, is he trustworthy or not....the more he makes excuses the more you have your answer.
NTA I literally can’t imagine being confronted with this, being innocent, and refusing to let my fiancée see my phone to prove I’m innocent. It would suck to be accused but this ain’t the time to stand on pride.
If it’s not a big deal and you’re overthinking it then what’s big deal about just giving you the phone? Go with your gut. Adults have conversations and don’t dismiss their partner’s feelings.
NTA. But, I suspect that it is not just that he was texting a girl on Snapchat. I'm going to guess there's more to this and you've felt uneasy for a while. Sit with yourself and figure out what's going on so that you don't get bullied about overreacting over this one thing.
You have your answer. He didn't hand over his phone the moment you requested it means he has something to hide.
NTA and you WNBTA. You deserve to know the truth and him refusing to show you his phone to put you at ease is a red flag here. You’d only be making a mistake if you ignore your got feeling and go through with the wedding without any resolution. Marrying someone who is entertaining other peopleis a recipe for disaster.
As someone who’s going through this right now while being married and wanting to go through his phone to just ease my concerns and my pregnancy mind and him doing almost the same as your fiancé. Trust your gut. But also be prepared for what you may find.
In my past experience sometimes it was way worse than what I thought it was and sometimes I was proven wrong and saw nothing which helped ease my mind. Your family is gonna be cold to you yes but imagine how dumb they will feel if you do end up finding out your sister was right. Definitely wish I had someone like her at the moment.
If he had nothing to hide he would have given you the phone to check! Would your sister wrongly accuse him? Historically, does she have issues with him? If not and you trust her, then where there’s smoke, there’s fire!
Give him an ultimatum, either he shows you his phone right there and then, or the wedding is off! The thing is that at this point you don’t trust him, and you won’t until you check. You must be prepared for nothing there, and then he’ll accuse you of not trusting him. But it could be he deleted it! So, you’re not in a great position! NTA.