'AITA for wanting to cancel my wedding after my fiancé 'accidentally' sold my late dad’s guitar?'
"AITA for wanting to cancel my wedding after my fiancé 'accidentally' sold my late dad’s guitar?"
When I was 14, my dad passed away suddenly. The only thing I kept of his was his old Fender guitar, it wasn’t worth much money, but to me, it was priceless. He taught me to play on it, and every time I touched those strings, it felt like he was still here. I told everyone in my life, especially my fiancé, that this guitar was off-limits.
Fast forward to last weekend. We’re getting married in three weeks. My fiancé has been on this weird “minimalism” kick, selling random things on Facebook Marketplace for “extra honeymoon cash.” I came home from work and noticed my guitar stand was empty. I thought maybe he moved it because we were deep cleaning. Nope. He sold it.
When I confronted him, he said he “forgot” it was sentimental and thought it was just “collecting dust.” He even bragged that he got $150 for it. I lost it , like, ugly crying, shaking, couldn’t breathe. He kept saying, “Babe, I’ll just buy you another one. You can get the same model online.” But it’s not the same. My dad’s fingerprints were literally worn into the fretboard. You can’t buy that back.
I immediately asked him to message the buyer to get it back. He refused at first because he “didn’t want to look stupid.” I told him I didn’t care if he looked like an idiot, go get my guitar. When he finally reached out, the buyer said they’d already gifted it to their teenage son, who “absolutely loves it” and wouldn’t give it back.
Since then, my fiancé has been sulking, acting like I’m overreacting and ruining the wedding vibe. He told his mom (who already doesn’t like me) and now his whole family is texting me to “stop punishing him for an honest mistake.”
I’m not sure I can marry someone who can be this careless with something I’ve been crystal clear about for years. It’s not about the guitar, it’s about the fact that he didn’t care enough to remember. AITA for thinking about calling off the wedding?
What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:
Obi-Juan_Valdez said:
Time to go to the police and report the guitar as stolen.
OP responded:
That’s actually what I’ve been debating. I already spoke to the police once, but part of me feels like if I go through with filing an official stolen property report, there’s no going back from that, it’s the end of the relationship, period. But then again… maybe it should be the end. He knew exactly what that set meant to me, and he took it anyway. If that’s not theft, I don’t know what is.
MelodyMunchkiin said:
Honestly, I wouldn’t blame you at all for calling it off. This isn’t just about a guitar, it’s about the lack of respect, care, and understanding he showed toward something you made crystal clear was precious to you. The fact that he’s sulking instead of taking full responsibility says a lot. You deserve a partner who values your feelings and possessions, especially ones tied to such deep memories. NTA
OP responded:
Thank you...that’s exactly how I feel. I’ve told him countless times over the years how much that guitar meant to me, and it’s like it went in one ear and out the other. The fact that his first reaction was to defend himself instead of even trying to make it right is what’s really eating at me. If he can dismiss something so personal now, what happens down the line when it’s something even bigger?
RedneckDebutante said:
NTA Call it off NOW! You've just gotten a very fortuitous glimpse of your future with someone who lies, is untrustworthy, doesn't value you or your feelings, and runs to his mommy when you disagree so they can bully and manipulate you.
And then reach out to the buyer yourself and offer to replace the gifted guitar with another one for their son. Because God knows what your fiance told them.
OP responded:
This is exactly what’s been eating at me, it’s not just about the guitar anymore. It’s about the lying, the total disregard for my feelings, and the fact that instead of owning up to what he did, he ran straight to his family to spin the story. If this is how he handles conflict now, what would the rest of our marriage look like?
And you’re right… I’ve been thinking about reaching out to the buyer myself because I honestly don’t even trust what he told them at this point.
onefeatherplume said:
He knew it was important to you. He didn’t care. He thought it will be easier to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission.
This man does not respect you. I would end it but it’s up to you. He took something very important to you and is sulking cause you are rightfully angry. Is this the type of behavior you want to put up with the rest of your life?
OP responded:
Exactly!! that’s exactly how it feels. Like he made a calculated decision that my feelings didn’t matter as much as whatever story he told himself to justify it. And now, instead of owning it, he’s sulking like I’m the one who did something wrong. I keep asking myself that same question...is this the dynamic I want for the rest of my life? Right now, it’s leaning toward a hard no!
hazey_bliss said:
If he can “forget” that something is extremely sentimental to you, what else would he forget? If you have kids is he going to “forget” that they’re his and accidentally sell them too? This is absolutely ridiculous. I’m so incredibly sorry that you’re going through this
And OP responded:
Exactly! That’s been running through my head non-stop. If something I’ve openly told him for years is irreplaceable can just be “forgotten,” what else could he brush off like it’s no big deal? It’s scary to realize how little regard he had for something that was part of my family’s history. Thank you for saying this — it really validates the unease I’ve been feeling.