'AITA for wanting to charge an 11-year-old for theft and destruction of property?'
"AITA for wanting to charge an 11-year-old for theft and destruction of property?"
So about a week and a half ago my son’s phone was taken from his bag at primary school. I managed to track it using find my iPhone and it lead me to a house. From that house I banged on the front door and was answered by a mum.
I explained that I tracked my son’s phone to this house and from there discovered her son and 2 of his friends had just been there. She calls him and then I follow her in my car to a second kids house.
At this house all 3 kids are there and I tell him I don’t care who stole it just hand it back and it’s done. All 3 kids swear black and blue that they have never seen it and know nothing about it.
I exchange numbers with the mum from the first house and the dad from the second house. Then I have to leave knowing full well one of them has it. I get home and receive a call from the mum from the first house.
She has checked the security cameras from her house and discovered the kid from the second house who swore that they have never had a phone is miraculously holding a phone in the footage.
This has already been sent to the dad and next minute I get a message from the guilty kids mum asking if she can come to my house. Her and her son arrive teary eyed and apologetic.
I just ask for the phone back and she shakes her head saying that he has smashed and destroyed it. It was only an iPhone XE so not expensive but as a single mum working full time was my means of communication with my son.
She asks if she can go buy me a phone now but I ask if she just contributes $100 and I’ll find a similar phone off marketplace as I prefer an iPhone as I connect it to mine and can monitor parental controls and other settings. She agrees and is happy to pay that.
It has been over a week now and she has now stopped replying to any messages and won’t answer any calls. Last message I sent was me saying if I didn’t receive payment I would report and charge her 11 year old son. So AITA if I charge him for theft and destruction of property?
Also as a side note I have camera footage, admission of guilt in her text messages and agreeing she would pay as well as her son admitting to the school that he stole it as well. So have enough evidence to go forward.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
NTA. Actions have consequences. You have been more then reasonable. If money was tight or there was some issue with getting you cash, she should have spoken up about it.
I’ve been through this with my daughter. We sent the police. Never happened again and the offender left all my daughters alone after that.
Right. Aside from the money it will scare the bejesus of the stealing kid. And hopefully be a lesson for life. Letting him get away without consequences will lead to more stealing.
NTA. Don’t threaten, just file the report. She lied about compensating you to make the problem go away.
NTA. The mother of the kid IS. Do it. You gave them an out, she didn't take it. Do it.
Idgaf if the mom did pay for it. This boy purposefully stole and destroyed the phone. He needs real world consequences. And possibly an investigation into his home life. Absolutely press charges.
Honestly NTA at all. You gave them a super fair chance to make it right and they straight up ghosted you. If the mom wont pay what she agreed, then yea reporting it is totally reasonable. Actions got consequences, even for an 11 yr old.
Fill out the paperwork for small claims court, for full retail to replace the phone. Take a picture and send it to her. Add your Venmo or cashapp to the message. Tell her to send payment as discussed within the hour, or you will be filing with the courts for retail + court costs.
You were too kind. Our lives are on these phones these days. I would recover the phone as data can be retrieved. And charge the kid. Consequences for his actions.
NTA. It’s so annoying these days that some people forgot there’s a thing called consequences to their actions. Besides, if this child did this and nothing else before, he would let go real easy. You can also sue the parents for the damage and distress caused to you and your child. That however might be a bit extra.
Generally, I think you were very reasonable by simply asking for the phone back. You didn’t go to the school’s principal or their teacher to make it a big issue or anything. (Although I would have, since at least someone in that kid’s life might teach him about consequences 🤷♀️) I think you are right to do just that especially after what you did so far.
NTA. You were more than generous with your terms. Give them a hard date to pay you. If they don't, file charges. Anything that happens after the deadline is on them. Were these thieves punished by the school?
NTA I will say for future reference, if someone offers to go with you now to replace an expensive item, take them up on it and go right then. It’s a week later and she’s rethinking her pledge. Remorse, like gratitude, has a short half-life. By next week she won’t remember anything happened at all.
Group text with both boys parents “it’s going to cost me $xxx to replace my sons phone that was stolen. You have 24 hours to pay this or I’m going to make a police report and notify the school. With the attached video. Here is my cashapp.
Teach your kids not to be thieves. I’m also not against small claims if I have to. I’ve already been told by B1 mom she would contribute but has since ghosted. I’m a single parent and angry your children have caused so much destruction and chaos. 24 hours. The full amount. You two decide how to divide that.” NTA.