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'AITA for warning my sister's boyfriend she wanted our parents to confront him at dinner?'

'AITA for warning my sister's boyfriend she wanted our parents to confront him at dinner?'

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"AITA for warning my sister's boyfriend she wanted our parents to confront him at dinner?"

Imaginary_Mine_1920

My(23f) family went out for dinner a few days ago to celebrate my sister(26f) Jenn's birthday. When we got to the restaurant Jenn was already there alone. She said she told her boyfriend Blake the time got pushed back 30 minutes because she needed to talk to us alone. Jenn was mad at Blake for not getting her any birthday gifts and that he only took her out to dinner, to a place they go to often.

Our parents understood her being upset and she asked if they would try talking to him because she couldn't get Blake to understand how hurtful that was. I asked her if she had given him her usual 'present' for his birthday or last holiday and Jenn said that wasn't important.

For context, my sister's idea of a gift for her partner is lingerie and sex, and only ever that. I don't know about her past relationships but I do know in the 2 years they've been together, I've heard and seen Blake give her gift ideas for him and he winds up buying them for himself after the fact.

He's come to Christmas at our house with gifts for Jenn and Jenn always shows up empty handed for him saying she'd give him his present later. I told Jenn it sounded like she got as good as she gives whereas our parents said I should be concerned someone would be dismissive and vindictive toward my sister.

Our parents said they'd think about talking to him based on his behavior when he arrived. So I text Blake that Jenn was setting him up for a lecture. He wound up not showing up.

Last night Jenn called me angry. She saw my text to him and realized my text was the reason he canceled and accused me of not having her back and she's told our parents I butt into their relationship but I figure she was trying to get us involved in her relationship anyway. I probably could have just stayed quiet but at the time it didn't sit right with me what she was trying to do. AITA?

Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:

CanAhJustSay

"but I figure she was trying to get us involved in her relationship anyway"

NTA. Jenn already lied to Blake about the time of the dinner, and she doesn't consider what he might need or want for a birthday gift.

They don't really sound long-term compatible. I think you did the decent thing in giving him the heads-up, although he should still have attended. Your parents sound like they indulge Jenn, and she has therefore never learned to take the consequences of her own actions.

BranthiumBabe

No, he should not have still attended a dinner where mommy and daddy dearest are there to gang up on him, WTF lol.

extinct_diplodocus

NTA. Let's ignore that Jenn is in the wrong and concentrate on your involvement. Jenn invited (nay, urged) her parents to meddle in her relationship. She has no moral high ground to object to her sister also meddling. In fact, if you had meddled in her favor, she'd have been really happy about it. You did the right thing in warning Blake about the three-person ambush.

marv115

She's 26, maybe is time to stop going to mommy and daddy to talk to her BF.

Sea-Tea-4130

NTA-She pulled you all in her relationship and then wanted sympathy when it wasn’t warranted. Your sister doesn’t sound like relationship material for Blake. Kinda self-absorbed. You did right to warn him ahead of time. The only thing I wonder is why he felt it important to share your text with her?

Full_Incident1450

She don’t get her bf a gift for any occasion but expects him to get her something 🙄 then to bring the family in on it and try to bash him for not getting her a gift is crazy NTA for giving him the heads up.

IamIrene

Kinda sounds like the bf is just matching your sister's energy, lol. NTA. Your sister sounds like a child asking mommy and daddy to fight her battles and setting her bf up for a lecture by her parents is hugely uncalled for. What is she, 12?

You probably shouldn't have stepped into it at all. Now you're getting yelled at for interfering. Sometimes it's best to sit back and watch. Either way, let's hope the bf can finally see the red flags flying.

Complete-Design5395

NTA - I hope that was a typo and you meant to say your sister is 16? Not 26? The audacity of your sister and your parents to gang up on a dude over birthday gifts. Absolutely not ok. Super gross actually. I’m glad you warned him.

InesMM78

NTA. The sister involves you in their relationship with her boyfriend. And encourages your parents to actively intervene in their relationship. They turn a personal relationship into a public one.

GrendelGT

NTA. Her idea of a gift is lingerie and sex? I hope he shows up to her next birthday with a bow stuck to his dick. Clearly gifts matter to him and I’m going to take a safe bet here that they’re one of his love languages.

Love, maturity, and communication are crucial in a relationship but it sounds like your sister came up short in all three departments. Good on you for giving him a heads up and good on him for being more mature than me, I’d have strongly considered showing up in a banana hammock and not much else…

Mistress_Anissa

NTA he deserves better than your sister. She sounds selfish, entitled and immature. And to involve the whole family because he dared to "only" take her for dinner? 🤦 And she's hurt? Sweet baby Jesus! He should run. On the other hand, c'mon girl, you shouldn't get mixed up in this sort of thing. Edit: tell her to shove it up hers as she's the one involving everyone in her stuff!

So, what do you think about this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit
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