'AITA for being offended my wealthy boyfriend told me to sell my blood to pay for groceries?'
"AITA for being offended my wealthy boyfriend told me to sell my blood to pay for groceries?"
So, I (26F) work full time in a typical 9-5 and make about 56-60k per year, after tax and deductions I get around $2.6k-3.2k per month in a career that I enjoy. I work hard and my goal is to grow in this career and eventually get to around 70-80k per year in 5 or so years.
My boyfriend (33M) makes between $5-8k per month after tax, depending on his business. Once a or twice a year it’s $12-15k in a month. We’ve been together for about two years.
I ended up with some credit card debt ($6k), which I take responsibility for, when I was off work for medical reasons for about a year. I’m working on catching up now but the payments unfortunately cost me a couple hundred per month depending on what I can afford.
I am trying hard to not be using my debt just to stay afloat. I want to get debt free and close those accounts. Right now, I might be broke as a result of this, but I know I’m not poor.
I have my own place that costs me around $1400 per month and usually a roommate that helps with $600 of that. He spends a lot of time here. My car costs me $300-$500 per month including payments, insurance and gas. I pay my own bills.
His parents gave him his car and pay for his phone and car insurance. His rent is around $500 per month in a shared house as his preferred setup. His parents are well off and don’t see a reason to pass the bills they’re already paying onto him.
I expressed I was struggling with gas and groceries and his response was to tell me to go to the public food bank and/or sell my blood. Legally you can get reimbursed between $50-$90 depending on the organization you go through for blood donations.
I told him I thought that was kind of hurtful and he told me to be more of a hustler. He made the joke that my blood is “hot” and he wants me to sell it, in an attempt to be flattering. AITA for being offended by this suggestion?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
Does he eat your groceries when he’s at your place? By him staying over a lot as you mentioned- Would you say that he’s costing you money? If your boyfriend is sitting well financially and can’t even offer to help with some groceries, after being together for 2 years, then I would have to think long and hard about where this is going?
People online pay for strangers’ groceries. Folks donate regularly to soup kitchens - to help stock strangers’ pantries. It’s lovely! And it’s stuff that people do for each other, even if they don’t know one another.
Ops boyfriend doesn’t do this for her. What’s the point ..? Like how can you even pretend this is a “partnership” in any sense. I would feel genuinely deranged if I asked a friend or family to donate blood to pay for groceries, if I had even $20 in my pocket. And I’m betting everyone else in this thread is exactly like me. AH boyfriend is the odd one out.
I just bought a woman baby formula because she was trying to figure out what to put back so I had her pick out the 2 most expensive things which were 2 cans of formula. I’ve been there before so embarrassed my card didn’t go thru, I was that struggling mom with a crying baby and crazy toddler but even if not I couldn’t just watch that poor woman suffer.
It hurt looking at her weighing her options like that. Idgaf she had ice cream and chips, she deserves a few treats because don’t we all? Dude can’t spare what like $100 to fill OP’s fridge? His girlfriend’s fridge? That’s not a decent person.
These are early signs of what will lie ahead for you. Knowing when to leave may be the smartest thing that anyone can learn.
He makes a higher income, has parental assistance financially, stays in a cheap frat-style living arrangement with little privacy so comes to your pad to eat and have sex—-all on your dime while you are struggling. Zero compassion. Sounds like he may be squeezing all the juice he can from you….
Get rid of this AH. He spends the majority of his time at your place - but wants you to sell blood to buy groceries. Send his entitled ass home. He isn’t a good future partner either.
So. You BUY FOOD, you can't afford, COOK it for him, DO THE DISHES,then have SEX with him, he gives you NO GAS MONEY, NO FOOD MONEY, NO RENT MONEY. And on top of all that... he's a hurtful prick. He's indifferent to your problems. We've taken a vote. He's got to go.
slick-jade (OP)
TO ADD: This was a long push from him even when I said I found it hurtful he was saying it. Any time I mentioned my money situation it would be brought up. I cook for him with my groceries and etc.
Was I expecting money? No. Part of me though is a bit hurt because when my friends are financially suffering, I help them. He brings up this solution all the time, knowing how I feel about it.
Stop spending money on him. Don’t invite him to your apartment. Don’t cook for two, cook for one. Don’t drive with him in your car, more gas spent. Basically meet up in public places, get there separately, go for walks or to the library say, pay for your own things only. He’s not a BF, he’s a jerk. And you need to focus on paying off you debt and having money left over for living expenses.
He is a privileged, ignorant twit who has had stuff handed to him his whole little life, and has never acquired a bit of empathy. I'd dump him.