Wealthy spouse sells house behind wife's back, 'I opted for a prenup.' AITA?
"AITA for selling our house without informing my wife?"
My wife and I have been married for many years, but before we got married, I had built up a substantial wealth. When we got married, I opted for a prenuptial agreement and complete separation of assets. She also had a significant pre-marital wealth.
Besides the house we currently live in, I still own a beautiful apartment in the same city that I usually rent out, but it's currently vacant.
Over the past two years, we've had many discussions about moving to a smaller town and getting a house near the beach. Two months ago, we bought the house for our upcoming move. We've already made the renovations we wanted, bought furniture, and will be moving into the new house soon.
Since we won't be living in this city anymore, I didn't see a reason to keep the house we currently live in and sold it without notifying my wife. Considering it's solely my asset, I didn't see the need to inform her in advance. Plus, selling and buying property is always a stressful process.
On the day I finalized the sale, I told her that I had sold the house, and she was furious with me for not letting her know. She mentioned that she still needs a residence in this city and intends to come here frequently.
I explained to her that I still have the apartment, which we can use whenever we need to be in the city, so there shouldn't be an issue.
She remains upset with me, claiming that I didn't treat her like a wife by not involving her in such an important decision. On the other hand, I believe I didn't leave her without an address in the city, and the house was always exclusively my asset, just as she has her own wealth.
She argues that it's a completely different situation because it's the house we've been living in, and we're moving in the next few days. AITA?
Here's what the top commenters had to say about this:
stroppo said:
YTA. Sounds like this house was your main residence. It seems reasonable to me that you would've discussed what would happen to it after your move. That would've been the time to make the case that the apartment you also own could serve as her residence when she's in town.
It does seem that you didn't care what she thought about selling the place. You should've involved her, even if you think it is "your asset."
BetweenWeebandOtaku said:
YTA. This isn't a money thing, or even a house thing. It's a communication thing. She's lived in that house for years. She has memories, associations, and probably had plans for the future involving it. Just snatching that away from her is an AH move.
BriefHorror said:
YTA cool its your money but damn is she your partner or what? If you can't talk through life deicsions with your life partner and treat her like an equal why did you get married? I couldn't imagine doing something like that to my bf.
Not to mention she was living there and its a big deal to have your house sold out from under you, whether you owned it or not. Ultimately this is not about the money but about your wife feeling like an accessory.
Laniekea said:
Wtf is your marriage. It sounds more like a business deal than a relationship...
fallingintopolkadots said:
YTA. It's definitely weird and a bad move to sell the house out from under her without even mentioning it or discussing it. I get that it was "yours" but you lived in it together, she was living in it at the time, so it's just really, really strange that you didn't even inform her that this was happening.
virginbeauty69 said:
YTA. what’s wrong with people’s communication? Of course you have to talk about these kind of things.