I (28F) have a niece (16F). She is my only sister's only child. 2 years ago I married a very wealthy man (34M) and last Christmas was my first with my in-laws. My MIL gifted me a coat that is worth more than $20k (I saw her wearing it, asked her where she bought it, and she said that it will be my Christmas gift from her).
I didn't know how much it was (I knew it was expensive, but I thought maybe $3k at most). I was visiting my sister last January when my niece saw it, she googled the brand and showed me how much it really was. I won't lie, I didn't wear it after that because I was afraid of ruining it.
Last week, I wore it while visiting my sister. While I was putting it back on to leave, I felt something go splat on my back, then my niece started cackling and the smell of paint hit me. I was so pissed off while she was not apologetic at all. Her mom screamed at her and said she was grounded. Then she said she will pay for the dry cleaning.
While I was in my car, still in shock BTW, I got an alert that my niece posted a reel, it was of her doing a prank on me, and she said "I'm going to hit my aunt's $20k coat with a paint filled balloon to see how she reacts."
I saved it on my phone, sent it to her mom and told her that a week's grounding is not enough. She did not reply, but I saw that my niece took it down (it got less than 5 views by then).
The next day I found out my coat can not be saved, so I called my sister and told her that her daughter has to pay it back. Well, we got into an argument and she said that they will not be paying it, and if I wanted a new one, I should get my husband to buy it for me. I think that they should pay for it (they can afford to, IMO they should sell my niece's car and pay me back my money).
We did not reach an agreement, so I told her that I will be suing, and reminded her that I have video evidence that her daughter A) did it on purpose for online clout and B) knew exactly how expensive it was.
People in my life are not objective at all, I have some calling me an AH, some saying they are the AHs for not buying me a new one, and some so obsessed with the price of the coat that they are calling me an AH for simply owning it and wanting a new one. So AITA? Edit: sorry for not making it clearer, but my coat was bought new, just identical to my MIL's.
WaywardPrincess1025 said:
NTA. She ruined a $20k coat. She wasn’t even apologetic.
[deleted] said:
NTA. This is a really good way for your niece to learn that actions have consequences and hopefully will serve her well in the future, when she's older. And your sister seems to need that lesson too, sounds like. "Just have your husband buy you a new one" is NOT an appropriate reaction to your kid destroying a $20K item.
Fine_Prune_743 said:
Honestly NTA. Actions have consequences and you are right a weeks grounding isn’t enough. She should sell her car and cough up the money. The niece is old enough to know better.
Tell your sister either she comes up with the money or you take it to the cops. I wonder if a police report will force the insurance company to come up with the money. This wasn’t an accident it was intentional and she won’t do it again. This reminds of the idiots gluing themselves to paintings to fight climate change.
TaratronHex said:
NTA. Sue them. I don't care if the coat was $10 or $10000. I wish we'd bring back the stocks for pranksters.
queenCANTread said:
NTA. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. In this case - a $20k debt.
pfashby said:
NTA. Niece is about to get some heavy consequences. I have no patience for teenagers who ruin other people's very expensive items for online cred. If she stole the coat - that's a felony. Selling her car to repay what she owes sounds about right.
So here is a quick update, since the situation has been resolved. When my husband got home, I told him what happened and showed him the video. He asked if I spoke with my BIL and I said no, all my conversations were with my sister. He said that he will take care of it.
Now, a disclaimer: I understand nothing when it comes to insurance claims, and this is what my husband told me/I understood happened. My husband talked with my BIL, told him exactly what happened and showed him the prank video.
Then he told him that the coat was insured, we will be filing a claim and submitting the video, and we might have to file charges for the claim (he assured him that we would be dropping the charges, we do not want to send niece to jail).
Then he told him that one of two things might happen: after our insurance pays us, they will come after them. If their insurance pays, their premium will skyrocket. If it doesn't, they might sue them, and might get a lien on their house.
My BIL asked if there was a way he could pay us without involving insurance, my husband told him that that was what we wanted at first, but that my sister insisted that they will not be paying us back.
Apparently, my BIL was not in the know, and he was very pissed off at what my niece did, and my sister's response. So they came to this solution: my niece's car will be sold, and if it doesn't fetch the whole compensation money, she will have to get a job and pay me the whole check until it is paid off.
Also she is grounded for the rest of the school year. I am thankful for the people who encouraged me to talk with my husband.
Dipping_My_Toes said:
That's a fair outcome that avoids lifetime level consequences for the niece and still stings hard enough to make the point. Communication is always a good place to start and very glad your BIL stepped up to handle the situation appropriately.
Naive-Mechanic4683 said:
Good outcome. Be prepared that your niece will probably hate/badmouth you for a long time, but this doesn't mean you did something wrong! Hopefully, she learned her lesson before she does the same to someone/something that money can't fix. And she will at some point understand that she has no one but herself to blame.
tipyourwaitresstoo said:
What 16yo throws paint on anything, let alone someone’s property? As a parent I would’ve been far too shocked that I’d forgotten to teach my teen the value of items and respect for other people’s things. Paint on a $50 coat would’ve been punishable. Your sister is a piece of work. Bravo to your BIL for finding a fitting solution.
TimidTurkey_321 said:
The fact that a 16 year old has a car that, after being sold, "might" cover the cost of $20,000 astounds me. It's not surprising that the teenager doesn't understand the value of a dollar to the point that they'd ruin a $20,000 coat for views.
TraditionalAd840 said:
YTA SO HARD - honestly, how do you sleep ?!
Electrical_Bath_514 said:
This is so cringe. So-called rich people really do not know what to do with their money and how to deal with real life responsibly and wonder why the children in that environment act out and don't care. Why would they when no one is teaching them...
Tarhisie said:
I'm surprised most people said NTA. $20,000 is a HUGE amount of money for the majority of Americans. Saying "they can afford it" honestly comes off not only as dismissive, but also very out of touch with reality. Your wealth is showing and that's not a compliment. What's more, this coat was apparently a gift to you, so you're not even the one out $20,000 or whatever the actual cost was.
I agree the niece should have to have some consequences other than grounding, though. Maybe pay back a portion of it, like $2,000 instead. That's still a VERY large amount of money to most Americans. After that, let it go and move on. As someone else said, suing them will lose you a sister and niece for the rest of your life. That's harsh and cold.
I'm sorry to hear it ended with your niece having to sell her car. She's a teenager who made a very, very stupid mistake. The fact that any piece of clothing costs that much honestly sickens me.