"AITA for wearing a 70's bump to my friends wedding?"
So I went to my friends wedding, not in the wedding party but a guest. I was never informed on what her dress looked like or any hair ideas. I typically wear my hair in a 60s-70s do whenever I go out or dress nice. it's just a thing I've always enjoyed doing.
My friends know this about me and often send me Tiktoks of inspiration since I love doing funky things with my hair and makeup. Including this bride :) anyway, I show up in my usual do, bump in my hair and a dark green dress to fit in to her fall colors (bridesmaids dresses are like mustard yellow btw so I in no way fit in).
I was so excited bc I noticed that the bridesmaids also had bumps in their hair. not the same (my hair was down and theirs were pinned up). The bride though, had her hair down with a bump. I am absolutely ecstatic!! My friends in the bridal party are also so excited and they mentioned that the bride told everyone to look at my insta for inspiration and Pinterest pictures to give the hairstylist (slay).
Anyway, the bride was not happy. I mean happy to my face but decided to text me 3 weeks after her wedding to tell me I'm an awful friend for having the "same hairstyle" as her and that she was worried people thought I was trying to fit in?? What.
Also a note: the bride and her bridesmaids are all my friends but I was not a bridesmaid because she decided she wanted childhood friends (four) with her and we met in college. I never said anything and honestly didn't really care about all that.
Well, apparently the bride got the bridesmaids to say I'm the bad guy and that I caused her so much stress. I told them I was genuinely confused why she was stressed if she used MY pictures as inspiration and yet expected me to not do my hair the way I like to do it?? Especially since no one told me lol. Anyway, AITA here?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Lowbalance4404 wrote:
LOLOL. I loved that you were the inspo picture and got mad when you looked like...well....you. Amazing and NTA.
_The_Kraken__ wrote:
NTA. If she had reached out and said, “this is how I’m wearing my hair, I know this is in your wheelhouse so would you mind doing something different so I can feel unique?” You would have said sure, no problem! But you’re not psychic! The bride is being ridiculous.
OP responded:
The thing is, I would have had no problem at all to at least do something different if I knew she was going to basically do the same hairstyle I did. But like many people have said, unfortunately I'm not a psychic 😕 Would be cool tho.
pleasant_desert wrote:
Is there something else going on here where’s she’s just using this pettiness to start a fight? She’s asking you to not be you AND to have a crystal ball that tells you that. NTA.
OP responded:
I don't believe anything else is going on? We have never even had an argument before so idk. someone mentioned maybe she wanted me to be hurt for not being a bridesmaid, but since I wasn't she wanted to be mad?
slap-a-frap wrote:
NTA - this says it all: I told them I was genuinely confused why she was stressed if she used MY pictures as inspiration and yet expected me to not do my hair the way I like to do it?? She literally thought that because it was her day, that she owned your look. LMFAO!!! Now that's some next level Bride-monster-from-Tokyo.
LiveKindly01 wrote:
NTA of course. What did the bride say when you explained all of this? How were you to possibly have known the direction SHE gave her bridesmaids and SHe should have had a clue you would wear your hair this way given you kind of always do? I'm just wondering how she is backing up her anger at you with anything that makes actual sense. I'd love for her to point out what, exactly, you did wrong?
OP responded:
I don't see an option to post pics or id put screenshots of our messages. I copied and pasted her first message, just removed the name of the person mentioned! Her text read: "Hey girl! I just wanted to let you know that I am really troubled still because (bridesmaid) said that you did not understand why I was hurt by your actions at my wedding.
You know I love your style and tell you that but you could have done something different for one day in your life. You might think your trendy but my day is reserved for me. I really do not feel comfortable talking to you until you can find the courage to apologize. And wen you do text someone else to tell me because I am so sad."
Classic_Might_5948 wrote:
The bride sounds horrible. Having three daughters I am concerned with the ridiculous expectations of brides on bridesmaids and now even attendees that are being posted on here. If any of them acted even remotely this immature and like a child I would pull the $$ plug and tell them to grow up. You are obviously NTA but the bride is a massive one.
Agent9262 wrote:
I have a big beard and moustache. Imagine if my friend got married, told all his groomsmen to check out my pictures because he wanted their beards and moustaches styled like mine and then got mad at me when I showed up with my usual beard and moustache. NTA.
theimperfexionist wrote:
NTA. Long story but at a long time friend's wedding I wore a neutral with a pop of the wedding colour in my shoes, because I also like to "go" without spot-on matching. And I matched the bridesmaids exactly.
They started down the aisle, and I was horrified! We all had a good laugh and the bride pulled me on the dance floor for the wedding party dance. We still laugh about it to this day! Sorry your friend isn't as lighthearted about it, but maybe she'll come around?