'AITA for wearing my wedding dress to my cousin's wedding?' 'SHE CALLED SECURITY' UPDATED

"AITA for wearing my wedding dress to my cousin's wedding?"

I(29F) got married a few months ago. My cousin sister (27F) got married last week. I am Tamil, so is my cousin. In our culture, the bride gets two sarees. One gifted by her family, the other by the groom's family. The koorai saree (gifted by my family) was the first saree I wore, and i got married in it.

The bride is supposed to wear this saree to the next wedding she attends, which was my cousin's wedding. Now my cousin is Tamil, but her family doesn't care too much about such traditions. She did have a traditional wedding but only to honour her grandmother's wishes. She knows about this tradition.

About a month after my wedding, I went to her house to ask for permission to wear my wedding dress to her wedding. It's tradition, but I had to be sure my cousin didn't feel like I was trying to outshine her the day of (she has such tendencies).

However, she said yes. I explained everything and she happily agreed to me wearing my saree. I was elated. Even if she had said no, I would've accepted the answer. I wouldn't have worn the saree if she didn't agree to it.

A month before her wedding, I called her just to recheck whether she was still fine with me wearing the saree. She agreed. I checked up a week before the wedding. She agreed. On the morning of the wedding, I went to her room and showed her my saree. By that point, I still had enough time to go get another dress to wear. But she insisted on the saree.

So I wore it, not in the entire glamorous way i wore it at my wedding, just my saree and some jewellery. Now, most of her friends are american, so most of her guests came wearing clothes they'd wear to a church wedding. The Indian side of guests did wear sarees and lehengas, but there weren't that many.

My koorai saree is red, so was hers. So when I came down, nobody said anything. However after she arrived and people saw both of us, all hell broke loose. Now, I was expecting looks, and people talking. Especially from the ones that had no idea of this tradition, but i did not expect what came next.

The bride's mother, mother-in-law and her sister, pulled me inside a room and began berating me. Before I could say anything, the bride burst in and started berating me too. WTF. I told her I asked her several times, just to be sure. She said I did no such thing. Every time I'd asked I was either on call with her or infront of her.

So unfortunately I had no proof. So the 4 of them kept on shouting at me, until I'd had enough. I told her I'd leave, but by the time I went to tell my husband all of this, SHE'D CALLED SECURITY. 3 guards had been called to take us out of the venue. Saying that I was humiliated would be an understatement.

Everyone at the wedding saw, and everyone is on her side. For the past week, I've received several phone calls, emails, messages telling me how much of a narcissist i was for doing that. Her mother even went on to write a whole paragraph posted on her ig story saying a bunch of BS about how this world is selfish and egocentric.

People let their morals loose, just for a few moments as a main character... etc etc. Her entire family reposted this story. Initially, my parents supported me, but seeing how this has caused damage to their reputation, they are now against me. What I thought would bring me good luck and prosperity, has ruined all of my relationships. Every one but my husband has turned on me.

Which is confusing since most of them know the significance of me wearing that saree, so I have no idea why they had this reaction. Idk, I can't help but wonder whether I missed something, whether I am wrong. So, AITA for wearing my wedding dress to my cousin's wedding?

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

Common-Dream560 said:

Your cousin set you up. I’m so sorry for you.

Special_Lychee_6847 said:

Make a social media post, telling ppl to check in with your cousin, because you are concerned for her mental health. She told you x times to wear your dress to her wedding, but on the day of, pretended she never agreed. Either she is having some sort of manic breakdown, or she is suffering from amnesia, or hysterics.

But you are keeping your distance from her, for the time being, seeing as for some reason, you seem to be the object of her manic episode. Wish the wedding couple good luck and your best wishes. And be done with it. NTA.

Kattnapped said:

Bloody hell, your cousin is a revolting piece of 💩. I'm so sorry they all chose to treat you so badly, and that includes your parents for turning their backs on you. It sounds like your cousin happily set you up for that. You said that she has a history of similar things. Time to go seriously LC with your parents and NC with everyone else, especially your cuckoo cousin.

Definitely NTA. Other than getting it in writing, you did everything possible to ensure she was okay with your saree.

And Real_Idea1472 said:

I am a Tamil from Malaysia. Do you know how many sarees out there matches bride’s saree colour even the non-wedding sarees!? By that you would be wrong to just wear a red saree of the cheapest kind. Are you aware of the current trend!?

Where everyone wear such heavy jewelries that even as a Tamil i have hard time to guess which is the bride, bride’s mom, sis in law as the entire family would have worn such make up and jewelries that upstage the bride herself. Only differences is bride wears a garland.

So NTA. Obviously cousin is setting you up. Time to cut toxic and time to go LC with your parents. As parents and of Tamil they know of the tradition and they should support you.

Three days later, she shared this wild update:

Omg do i have an update. The past three days have been CRAZY. I just got an update and hour ago, and thought you guys need to hear it too. Your really do. so first of all, i read all the comments and decided it would be best to make a post and go low contact with most of my family members. But before I could do any of that, all hell broke loose.

In a few words, my cousin is batsh!t crazy. The day after i made my post, she and her husband had a fight. Turns out, her husband (god bless him) did not like the stunt the ladies pulled.

My husband and him get along pretty well, and he actually had the decency to talk to my husband, to give my side of the story. He did, and well...
He confronted her, and I don't know what went down, but he found out, that apparently, and drum roll pls...

You guessed it, she's been cheating on him. Not with one but two other people, both are her exes. or were idrk. ever since he proposed a year back, she's been super "stressed" because of the "expectations" everyone did and would've had in the future, and effed them to "relieve that stress". Honestly, I feel so bad for him. That woman is horrible.

But, and bare with me, that isn't even the craziest part, but that girl's now in jail, and will be for the next 5-25 years, as my lawyer friend tells me. I'm not sure how long, but it's for arson. This just went down a few hours ago, but due to her rage for her husband (because he "destroyed" her life), she lit his house on fire.

It was their house, but he kicked her out after their fight. She still had spare keys, and went to the house when he was at work, and LIT IT ON FIRE. An entire room ruined, thank god no one was inside, and no one got hurt. The damage is manageable, but he is staying at a friend's house for a while.

This news spread FAST. everyone knows, and I feel, avenged? Idk, I feel horrible that her poor husband had to go through all that, but sooner's better than later. It's about time people found out what the person actually is like. I'm not sure what her sentence would be, but idrc anymore. saying she's crazy is a serious understatement.

Im glad her husband is free of whatever torture she would've put him through throughout their married life. There had been a person I appreciate who told me to consider her having a manic episode. In hindsight, I think that probably is the case, but I won't say much. Defending her at this point seems cruel to her husband, but I do hope the jail time helps her learn her lesson.

I've decided to keep that post on a hold, but I am going NC with her family, and LC with mine. If jealousy, hatred, psychopathic behaviour or societal status comes in between my relationships, I don't want them at all. Idc what people think, because I have a husband to support me.

Oohh, I have some good newss. My husband just told me, my cousin's EX husband has just planned a trip, probably to get away from this mess, and to clear his head. good for him. My husband and I have offered all the support we could, and might go on our own holiday soon. Thank you for all the support! This has been absolutely unreal.