Sibling-of-the-groom who lost 190 pounds posts photo to social media that the bride isn't in. AITA?
"AITA for posting a photo the bride’s not in to social media?"
My older brother got married to his girlfriend of 8 years two weeks. (He’s 39, She’s 37.) She and I have always had a strained relationship. I think she’s bossy and entitled and I’ve never loved the way she talks to our parents specifically, But, brother’s happy so, I did everything in my power to help make their day beautiful.
I designed all of their invitations, signage, and labels for 400 wedding favors I helped my mom with. I didn’t charge them anything for my skills, time or services because, I’m the groom’s sister.
One of my close friends was the photographer, which got the couple a pretty significant deal on photos. That’s where the drama starts! Yesterday, my photographer friend sent me a photo of just the four of us siblings.
She had taken it on her cell phone for me between photos so we could have it a little sooner than formal portraits. I didn’t think anything of it. I posted it to socials as they are my favorite people and I’ve lost 190 pounds since the last photos of us all together were taken! We looked good!
Not twenty minutes later I get a back line phone call on my work phone from the bride. (We work for the same hospital network.) She’s in tears because the photo I posted didn’t have her in it and she hadn’t seen it yet.
When I told her that photographer friend had sent it to me and it was a candid cell phone snap of the four of us goofing around she thought I’d like to have. SIL freaked out and yelled at me. She then yelled at the photographer.
It was one photo, that my close friend took on her cell phone of all of us goofing around between photos. But, just because the friend was the photographer the bride wants final approval before anyone posts anything from the day. I deleted it as requested but, that still feels extreme to me. AITA?
EDIT:
The couple HAD shared their photographer preview and a whole bunch of snapchat filtered selfies. My sweet big brother is a analog luddite but, his wedded wife is a social media maven.
Here's what the top commenters had to say:
trixen2020 said:
This woman is THIRTY SEVEN? Your only mistake was deleting it. Don't cave to her bullying behavior. It was a shot shared specifically with you, her sister-in-law and you posted it because it was a meaningful and lovely photo taken by one of your close friends, of people you love. She wasn't even IN the picture??? I'd personally make it my profile pic, hell I'd print it onto my entryway welcome mat. NTA.
winterworld561 said:
It wasn't an official wedding photo, it was privately taken on a private device that has nothing to do with her. A private photo that doesn't need her approval. Put it back up. She has no right to demand you take it down. She is a nasty b. NTA.
Inside-War8916 said:
The only thing you did wrong was removing it. Nta.
nosecohn said:
NTA. If she were in the photo, she'd have a right to request that you delete it from social media, but asking you to do so when she's not even pictured is overboard. The fact that you deleted it anyway was kind of you and should have ended the dispute.
TwoBionicknees said:
Shouldn't have deleted it and hsould have told her to grow up, you don't get to control personal photos you and your friends took, full stop. Yes the professional photos should only be released to her and her husband and they should get say in who can see and post them.
Private and personal photos, f right off. NTA for posting it, daft for deleting it as you've set a precedent now, what she says goes, if she cries she gets what she wants and you'll give in.