Man considers sabotaging brother’s wedding due to secret love for his fiancée. AITA?
"WIBTA for trying to stop my brothers wedding?"
Hefty_Swim_7293
Throwaway for obvious reasons. My brother is getting married to his childhood sweetheart soon. I didn't like the whole idea of the wedding because they're practically still kids and it would be dumb for them to get married so young.
Our parents (ours and hers) are pretty pissed about it too but going along with it anyway because they were worried they might just elope and go no contact otherwise.
Also, I'm in love with his fiancee. We all sort of grew up together (neighbours for 5 years when we were teens, parents close friends now etc) and she always had a big crush on me, but I ignored it because she was a kid, and really annoying, but her and my brother were always best friends because they were the same age.
We had a bit of a thing when we were like 18/16, but again, I thought she was too young and also I was dealing with a lot of personal issues at the time so I ended up pushing her away and making her think I didn't want her.
I didn't want to hurt her worse in the long run, even though I kind of did start to really like her. I guess I thought she'd just be there when I was ready or something because she'd always been so obsessed with me.
Cue my freaking brother riding in on his white horse when I broke things off with her and them getting together, which was always his gameplan I think. Fast forward four years, and apparently they're getting married.
She's more religious than us and they've always done the purity ring nonesense so obviously my brother just got bored of waiting and wants to get married now so he can get laid. I don't think he's good enough for her and I never did, especially in the light of what I know now.
Anyway, my brother got really drunk the other night and told me that when they broke up for a while (I don't know why they broke up but I remember he was really cut up about it) last year he slept with someone else just before they ended up getting back together.
He was going on to me about how bad he felt about it and how he didn't know she was going to take him back when he did it and he wished he hadn't (whatever, jerk). I don't think she knows what he did, and I don't think she would marry him if she knew he'd gone and cheated on her when they were broken up, especially if they are doing the whole no intimacy before marriage.
WIBTA if I told her what he did, and told her how I really feel about her and maybe stopped the wedding? I really think she's my soulmate and that deep down she probably wants to be with me, too.
She just doesn't know I'm in love her and still an option or that he's just a cheat?
If I love her too, I should tell her, right? She might want to be with me instead.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
SeaworthinessKey3654
You’re an AH now for even considering it….there’s nothing to tell, your brother didn’t cheat; he and his GF were broken up. You sound like you hate your brother - your post is a litany of excuses and justifications as to why you think you have the right to try and stop the wedding.
So yes, you’re an AH for being so bitter and spiteful towards your brother. If you go ahead & tell his fiancé -again, there’s nothing to tell- than you’re triple the AH, and you’ll destroy whatever relationship you have with your brother.
Curious_Puffin
YTA. "She's more religious than us and they've always done the purity ring nonesense" Your attitude to her beliefs shows you're not compatible, let alone soul mates.
What he did while they were broken up is not your business. The right thing to do it to encourage your brother to get tested (if no protection was used) and encourage him to be honest with her that he is not a virgin. That's it. Stay out of their relationship. You will lose a brother over this, and given your lack of compatibility, it will have been for nothing.
Regular_Swordfish_85
You are just mad because the girl u rejected was able to move on with her life. YTA.
Primary-Criticism929
I think that if this is true, ESH. You and your brother may not be the same kind of a$$h0l3$, but are still both a$$h0l3$. That girl is not a toy or a property. Maybe someone should actually consider doing what's best for her for a change.
Equivalent-Board206
Would you be TA if you attempted to spoil their wedding in the vague hope that someone you've repeatedly rejected actually wants to marry you instead? Yes, obviously, YWBTA. This isn't a Jane Austen novel. Get over her, pronto, and try to feel happy for your brother. Or don't, and be the human version of a festering sore.
disco_spider364
Actually can't believe you wrote this thinking anyone would agree, YTA and a poor excuse of a brother and extremely jealous. Get help man.
Acrobatic-Ad-3335
YTA. Dude. They were broken up, he didn't cheat. If you try to get involved, you will tear your family apart, & you won't get the girl. You clearly don't think very much of her if you think she'd marry someone she doesn't love. Find someone else to dream about.
omeomi24
YTA - do you really want to make it worse? You WANT your brother's gf - though you dropped her in the past before he was with her. Now YOU want her again - perhaps because your brother has her?
Your brother told you something in confidence. He was dumb to tell you and it is not up to you to run to his fiance to tell her what he did when they were NOT together. Get help - you need it.
Stay our of your brother's relationship. You claim your brother and his fiance are 'too young' but you sound very young and clueless. Either you made up the story - or you're TA all the way.