Woman wants her terminally ill sister to exclude their siblings in her will, 'I'm broke. I need it more.' AITA?
"WIBTA if I asked my sister not to include my siblings in her will?"
TheGreedySister
I know how this sounds, so bear with me. We from the same parents, but they’re older (22, 20, 19 and 17 years), and I was like an only child. I only formed a real relationship with them after college.
Oldest sister married a successful man 20 years older. She worked with him. When he turned 60, they retired (she was 40). They live off pensions, social security, and interest income, and have $2 million.
They have no kids, and their health is failing. His docs say he has less than a year to live. She has cancer, has about the same. Brother and his wife retired in their 50’s after selling her family’s business (inherited when her parents died), and they travel, and have 2 houses in the US and 1 in Italy. They have 3 kids.
Next sister’s husband is an executive for a big company. They travel with my brother a lot, and have 2 homes. Two kids. Last sister is widowed. Her husband made over $1 million/yr. When he died, she told us he left her with about $10 million.
She volunteers, chairs a running club, and audits college classes to keep busy. She has 2 kids. I’ve struggled. In 2014 I got promoted. Then, in 2015, the company I was at got bought, and I was let go. I found a lower job with a pay cut. I was close to my 2015 salary when the pandemic shut down the new employer.
I found a FT job that was horrible, and was lucky to then find another job. I’m employed, but making less than 9 years ago. I contribute to my 401K, and I’m frugal. I drive a 2015 car, and I have some savings. This company is being bought, so my position will likely go away in 12-18 mos.
My oldest sis made me executor of their estate, and I’m happy to do it. Their will says everything’s split between her siblings. I think about how $500,000 won’t change my brothers and sisters lives; just a little windfall to toss in with the rest.
For me? Life changing, but the full amount would mean that I can stress a whole lot less about money. I could live the life I’ve always watched them live. I know I sound entitled and selfish.
I’m grateful to be in the will at all, and I know I’m so, so much more fortunate than so many. It’s very hard to be so much younger and so much less successful than my sibs are/were.
I ended up with a family full of multi-millionaires, and I fear I’ll never get even halfway to the point they are. I’ll watch my nieces and nephews inherit their parents’ money, and I’ll just live my modest life. Jealousy is horrible. I’m thinking of asking my sister about the will, and if she’s thought of any of this. I am scared to be too blunt, and I might even chicken out.
It feels wrong to ask her to exclude the others, but the money just won’t mean very much to them – they’re all wealthier than she is! WIBTA to bring this up? I don’t want to seem greedy and ungrateful, but I can’t stop thinking about it.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Peony-Pony
YWBTA. Yes, jealousy is terrible. And you do sound entitled and selfish and your sister is never going to agree to cut out your siblings. Your plan and idea are terrible and if you follow thru with it, you probably will not like the results.
Kami_Sang
YTA - big time and an opportunist. You want to deny your siblings an equal share of an inheriatnce from another sibling because ypu jave judged that tbey don't need the money but you do. You want 2M to yourself. $500,000 is a lot of money and you're saying that won't help you meaningfully?
You are just a base person to me and incredjbly selfish. Your sibling's financials are not your business. Don't frame this as 500,000 won't impact them - frame this as your greedy self wants 2M.
IamIrene
Yes, YWBTA. Just because your siblings have more than you do does not entitle you to your sister's inheritance. Consider that your siblings might also be naming you in their respective wills...and how they will probably exclude you entirely if you somehow manage to talk your sister into being her sole inheritor. It's gross that you're more focused on her money than her relationship with you.
blueeyedwolff
YWBTA and if you were my sibling, I would seriously consider removing you as executor and cut you out of the will completely for being so selfish and self absorbed.
Edited for clarity.
slap-a-frap
YTA - I’m thinking of asking my sister about the will, and if she’s thought of any of this.
Your life is not her responsibility. They are where they are in life because of the choices that they made. You are where you are because of the choices that YOU made.
You don't get to tell your sister where she should spend her money because you didn't make the right choices. If you ask her, she might see right through your "plea" and see that it is complete jealousy and entitlement.
You are not entitled to more just because you are not as successful as the rest. If you think you are, then you are wrong and will more than likely be cut out of the will if you bring it up.
AvalonWood
YWBTA. Your sisters money is hers to leave to whoever she likes. Maybe she’s already thinking of giving you a bigger cut, maybe she isn’t, but it’s extremely insensitive and mercenary to turn around and tell her not to share what is hers.
Your struggles are unfortunately your own. Yes, your siblings may have had some extremely good luck, or they may have just worked damn hard to get where they are but you don’t deserve an inheritance any more than they do and asking for it or trying to twist your sisters arm is an AH move.
TheSeventhBrat
YTA and your sister needs to remove you as executor. You can't be trusted to follow their wishes regarding their estate.