'WIBTA if I cut off my wife's mocktails?' 'She keeps INSISTING.'
"WIBTA if I cut off my wife's mocktails?"
I've always enjoyed cooking. My wife, coincidentally doesn't, so I usually prepare our meals from scratch. This has also applied to our beverages, alcoholic at first, and mocktails once our kid was born.
I don't really miss the alcohol so much as the fruity, creative drinks that can be made at home, so mocktails when we're alone, and normal drinks for me when people come over, and a mocktail for my wife.
Thing is, she has started to drink less and less. Which is totally fine, but she still insists on me making mocktails (full of expensive syrups and herbs, dried fruit and what not) for her that go almost completely untouched once it hits the table. This has been going on for more than a year, and it bums me out that I'm essentially throwing expensive stuff directly to the sink.
Which I pay for, or make. She keeps insisting on having mocktails, and when confronted about it, says "I'm a slow drinker, you know this about me" and shrugs it off, saying she's not obligated to finish her drinks.
She's asking me to brew ginger beer from scratch, dry green apples, buy edelweiss or amaretto syrups, and once the mocktail is served, hours go by and it goes warm and turns into a mush.
I am contemplating stopping serving her altogether, or making her buy the expensive stuff, but it seems like an ahole move. Is it? WIBTA if I cut off my wife? EDIT: Holy crap, this exploded, so lemme clarify:
1) I'd say we host people once or twice a month, but she also asks for mocktails when we're alone, maybe 2 times a week.
2) Mocktails don't have alcohol, I'm not trying to make her an alcoholic.
3) This is not about me controlling her, I just equate feeling appreciated for the work with consuming the product of said work. Just replace the word "mocktail" with ""dinner" if it helps.
4)Yes, smaller glasses would work.
Here's what people had to say about this one:
Ok-Guidance-2112 said:
NTA, she can want a nice drink and isn't obligated to finish it, you also are not obligated to go above and beyond making a fancy drink for someone to barely taste. You could offer her a sip of yours maybe? This almost feels like a weird power play where she hopes you get annoyed and drop the whole mixed drink thing aside.
Gullinkambi said:
YWBTA if this is only in group settings and you are singling her out as “wasteful and unappreciative." NTA if this is a nightly request between just you. In a group, who cares if she drinks the drinks or not, offering one is a common courtesy at small cost and time to you. It would be weird to explicitly not make her one and call her out on it in a group. You gotta just let that one go.
mfboomer said:
NTA. If this was a man telling his wife to make him elaborate drinks and then not touching them the verdict would be clear as day. If she wants to have mocktails and let them turn into mush, she can make them herself. Don’t be a doormat.
Wild-Stage-6476 said:
YTA. All of these so-called expensive stuff (syrups and what nots) are still cheaper than most alcohol drinks used in cocktails. So what if she doesn’t finish her ONE drink?? You don’t buy a new bottle of “expensive” edelweiss syrup for each time you make a cocktail…
PowerCareful7140 said:
NAH - you wouldn’t be an ahole for cutting her off nor is your wife necessarily an ahole for taking a long time to drink one. It seems like a communication issue. Why not by the canned mocktails? Less effort for you and probably less money. She still gets what she wants and if she does leave it for who knows how long then it won’t feel so personal.
evo-1999 said:
Man. There are so many bigger problems that you could be having… if you enjoy making them keep doing it. She is probably trying to hold on to a little piece of her life before kids...there are way worse things to worry about in life than whether she finishes a drink or not...
Just make smaller batches so you aren’t as wasteful. She is just trying to keep that connection with you, so If you’re already making yourself a cocktail it shouldn’t be that big of a deal to set a little aside for her.