'WIBTA if I didn't go to my brother's wedding?'
"WIBTA if I didn't go to my Brother's wedding?"
Hi all. My brother is getting married in the summer. We're 1 year apart. I don't want to go to his wedding and there's 3 main reasons why.
We aren't particularly close. It's not that we don't get along; we get along fine but we don't do anything together outside of meeting up with our parents for occasional family dinners. We don't really talk besides small talk or have a relationship other than a practical one of being brothers.
As far as I know, I don't have a special role in the wedding and I am just an audience member so my presence there is just to tick off the "whole family" box which I don't think is particularly important in the grand scheme.
Similarly, our friend groups do not overlap so I don't know anyone there besides my family members.
2) I don't like the bride. We don't get along and I genuinely do not enjoy spending time with her.
That being said, besides being generally unpleasant and rude to me, my brother (her fiance), and my parents, she has not done anything to specfically to me in any way so my dislike of her is purely just a general character judgement. Besides that, it's a long-winded explanation that isn't particularly interesting or unique.
3) I don't get along with my parents well when all of us are together. When it's just my parents and me, it's fine but when it's the 4 of us (parents, me, and my brother), the dynamic changes for some reason and they get mean which is weird because it's not as though they compare the 2 of us or use us against one another.
I'd understand if it was just a playful thing or constructive thing like "Look at how hardworking so-and-so is" because I can see the value in trying to subtly encourage us to be better or more productive but it's not like that.
They're just verbally abusive, telling me and, to a lesser degree, my brother that we're unloveable or we're ugly or some other weird statement. I do get the brunt of it and my brother less so.
I have already given them a wedding gift, months ahead of time, so I'm not trying to escape that obligation. As I understand it, it is a 2 day wedding that is separated by a week.
So, weekend 1 is the first day where they say their vows and a small wedding reception. This will only be for family members. Then a whole week goes by. Weekend 2 is the bigger wedding reception where all of their friends and, again, family are invited.
WIBTA if I didn't go to his wedding (both days)?
Let's see what readers thought:
gavison writes:
NTA. Go to the first event, skip the second. Don't explain or justify your choice. Make it an announcement, not a negotiation.
ctaim0 writes:
I'd say YTA. Like the first reason is a pretty poor excuse imo. So what you dont hang out much or talk much. You'll be there for support.
For the second reason, you probably won't even be interacting with the bride much. She's got a bunch of wedding stuff to do
It's two days and with the second day being a bigger reception you can probably avoid being around your parents.
You need to realize, weddings are a big deal for a lot of people. You can skip your brother's but you're going to have to accept you'll probably change your relationship with your family for the worse.
apsl8n writes:
NTA, but I agree with the other comments. Go to the first one, even just for a bit, then leave. If anyone asks, you can just say you have prior commitments. At least you attended a part of it.