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'WIBTA if I refused to attend a wedding that will cost me $2,000?' 'I did the math.'

'WIBTA if I refused to attend a wedding that will cost me $2,000?' 'I did the math.'


"WIBTAH if I refused to attend a wedding that will cost me $2,000?"

My girlfriend has a friend that is getting married this summer. The wedding venue is in the middle of nowhere Colorado, during 4th of July weekend. To get to the wedding venue, we would have to fly from NYC to Denver, and then drive FOUR HOURS from the airport to the wedding venue

I did the math, and with cost of plane tickets, 4 day car rental, gas, 3 nights stay at hotel/airbnb etc., I am looking at spending roughly $2,000 dollars on the trip. Now, I have only met this girl a handful of times, and have met her fiance just once over the course of 3.5 years I have known my girlfriend.

I will say that I was personally invited to the wedding (my name was on the invite) but that's just because I have been with my girlfriend for 3.5 years, and in reality I am more like just a glorified plus one.

I do not wish to spend that amount of money to attend a wedding for people I hardly know. I honestly would have a hard time spending that much money for one of my best friends.

The most frustrating part is that the couple to be married lives here in NYC, as do most of the invited guests, but we're all being asked to fly out to middle of nowhere Colorado.

Anyways, I think the whole thing is ridiculous, and am contemplating telling my girlfriend that I appreciate the invite but I am not spending that much money, having to dip into my savings, just in order to attend a wedding. WIBTAH if I refused to go?

Later, OP edited the post to include:

Just to address some of the people bad mouthing my girlfriend, or insinuating that I’m only invited to in order to pay for my girlfriend to get there: the 2k is just my share of the cost. She’d also have to foot 2k herself. It’s 4th of July weekend in Colorado, so plane tickets and lodging prices are astronomically high.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

synchrohighway said:

NTA. People turn down destination weddings all the time because of the costs. Tell them early and buy a gift.

ConvivialKat said:

NTA. A wedding invitation is not a summons. Destination weddings are frequently very poorly attended due to cost and time off from work. Just tell your girlfriend thanks, but you are unwilling to spend this kind of time and money to attend the destination wedding of acquaintances you barely know. Refusing this kind of thing is perfectly reasonable (and smart if you aren't independently wealthy).

petulafaerie_III said:

NTA, weddings aren’t mandatory, you can RSVP no for any reason.

banjadev said:

NTA, if I was going to spend 1000s of dollars on a trip I would want to decide where I WANT to go, and spend time with people I actually know.

Odd_Task8211 said:

Absolutely NTA. You really are a glorified plus 1 and paying $2K to get to MFN Colorado for a wedding of people you barely know is a waste.

mamaluke60 said:

NTA. I personally think the destination weddings. Are ridiculous. I have some friends and their adult kids are going through this now. One of them calculated almost 9k between travel and the Uber upscale hotel and the cost of tuxes etc. Ridiculous and selfish imho.

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