'WIBTA if I told my rude sister-in-law that she can't view my new house?'

5"WIBTA if I told my rude sister-in-law that she can't view my new house?"

My husband (35M) and I (35F) recently built a new house. My FIL is a professional contractor and he was the contractor for our house build. My BIL (husband's brother) is a carpenter and he also worked on our house full time during the build. So it was definitely a family project. My FIL and BIL are both really nice people and I'm grateful for both of them.

However, my SIL (34F, husband's sister), is a miserable and rude person. There are times she has been so rude to me that family has had to step in and tell her to stop. A lot of her rude comments have been related to the fact that my husband and I don't have any kids yet (we plan to start trying for a baby next year).

SIL feels strongly that women should have kids when they are in their 20's. She has told me that I'm going to have miscarriages, my kids are going to be autistic/have down syndrome, I'm going to be an old mom etc because my husband and I decided to wait until our 30's to have kids.

In the past when we have had SIL over to our house, she only makes rude comments and never has anything nice to say. When we hosted a birthday party for my husband (in our old house), SIL walked in the door, looked around, and said "wow, your house is actually clean or once."

SIL stopped by our new house when it was under construction and her only comment was "I can't believe how small your new house looks". SIL doesn't live close by (thankfully). She will be visiting my MIL and FIL this summer. It's the first time she has visited since our house build was completed.

My FIL and BIL are proud of the house and want to show it off. And I want them to be able to show it off. I'm really grateful for the work they put into the house. There are a bunch of other family members that will be visiting this summer and I'm happy to take all of them through the house.

But, given our history, I'd rather not have SIL through the house. My in-laws know SIL and I aren't on good terms. I'm sure SIL will want to see the house, but I doubt she will ask my husband or I directly if she can come by. She will most likely get MIL to ask my husband or I if they can stop by. WIBTA if I told her that she can't view our new house?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Purple_Kiwi5476 said:

Congratulations on your new house and great husband/in-laws (except for SIL). May I suggest laughing at her rude comments? I know how hard this is, but when I've managed to pull it off, it is very, very sweet. For example, since your in-laws KNOW how she is, get them or at least your husband to play SIL Bingo.

Create a 25-square card (Free Space in the middle) with the kinds of comments she makes in general and what you predict she'll say in particular. Every time she makes a snide comment, cross it off your card; you'll not be able to stop smiling! Maybe even have a small prize for whoever gets Bingo first. Another option: take every comment as a compliment. It will confuse the heck out of her.

Slawth_x said:

NTA but I'm kinda petty and would actually enjoy shutting her down lol. "Wow it's small." Guess we don't require a lot of excess to be happy in life. "I would've done x differently." Oh nice let me know when yours is built. "Still no kids?" Nope we have our own priorities right now and want to be able to provide the best we can.

KiriYogi said:

YWBTA- have fun with it though. Make up a 2 BINGO cards with what you think she might say and give one to your husband can blot off when she says it. Be sure to have an over the top prize for the winning card.

Make it a point to make eye contact when you are checking off your list. When she eventually loses her SH** just tell her that her opinions mean nothing and if she has an issue with it, she can leave and never come back.

Pretty-Scientist-848 said:

NTA, but I would just make it easy on yourself. Let her come to see the house when they call to ask, make sure to get the day and time they are coming. But then be conveniently out when she comes. You had to do shopping, or had a day planned with your BFF or sister or whatever.

Just come up with something better to do when they are planning to come and make your husband deal with her. He may be cool with her constantly degrading you and your house, but you aren't, nor should you be. So he can be on that receiving end while you're out having a cocktail and getting a massage.

jeremyism_ab said:

NTA you and your husband should just straight up announce to anyone who might invite her that you have absolutely zero interest in her coming over to your house. You can honestly say this is based on her past behavior, her past choices have consequences, and this is it. No discussion, no appeal, if she wants more respect, then she can damn well earn it.

Frosty-Wood said:

Yes, YWBTA. Let her see it. Make it fun for yourself by predicting what asshole comments she is likely to make. Have some responses ready. You can't change her but you can be consistently polite and decent, even if only to highlight what a jerk she is.

Josie-32 said:

NTA - “Oh no, you won’t like it.” I also love the phrase - “Don’t yuck my yum” for people who denigrate things you enjoy.