My wife is away visiting a friend and I recently learned she’s with her manstress who I caught last month when there was a bank account transaction that wasn’t for the kids or myself.
The item was obviously meant for someone specifically outside of the family and it was another man. She told me that she would cut things off and that it wasn’t anything special.
After reading an email that exposes that he’s there with her, I’m contemplating parking and picking her up inside with our two kids to catch her coming into the terminal with said manstress rather than picking her up curbside.
The kids wouldn’t recognize him, but I want to show that I’m well aware of her couples retreat. No confrontation would occur, especially given that it’s an airport.
EDIT:
Kids are 7 & 4 and can’t wait to pickup mom at the airport.
I don’t know if I could convince them to stay with our neighbor (babysitter). They wouldn’t recognize him (unless they kiss goodbye); he’s a coworker that hasn’t ever been seen by the kids.
UPDATE/DECISION:
If I can convince the kids to stay home, they’ll stay with our neighbor. We’re both Utah transplants so no family is around.
Or I’ll stay home with the kids and have her manstress bring her home. I don’t need photo evidence since Utah is a no fault state and I already have written proof in emails and text chains.
I wouldn’t bring the kids, but bringing a witness might not be a bad idea.
Don’t involve your children in this. You will needlessly traumatize them. YWBTA for that. Go alone. She will get the message.
YWBTA for taking your kids with you. I am all for confronting her, even with another witness, just not the kids. Even if they don't know what is going on, you will put them in the middle of an emotionally charged situation that should just be between their parents.
You're absolutely right. This is about your issues with your wife, not your kids'. Dragging them into this is incredibly selfish and unfair. They don't need to witness your confrontation, or even be aware of the situation. Your priority should be protecting them from emotional distress. Deal with your wife's infidelity without involving your children.
It's not about "catching" her; it's about protecting your kids and deciding what you'll do about your marriage. Focus on that, not on creating a dramatic scene at the airport. Your kids deserve better than to be pawns in your marital problems.
Get a babysitter and go alone. Don't put your kids in the middle of this.
What kind of father would do that to the children he claims to love?
Jesus man, be as furious at her as you need to be, but DO NOT involve your kids in this.
Just don't pick her up. Text her that he can bring her home from the couples retreat.
Married4Now25 (OP)
This is probably the best advice so far. Do I make sure the voicemail or text is while she’s in the air or wait for her to text or call as she’s getting off the plane?
AH move to bring the kids. Better move, meet her dressed in your best with a huge bouquet and a welcome home sign.
From a guy that as a kid caught his dad doing basically the same stuff, please dont. It changed me, and pretty significantly. Honestly I saw both my parents differently after that and remember every detail about that day.
I saw my mom (you in this situation) in just as bad of a light as my dad. Kids shouldn’t be exposed. Drop the kids off with someone and go yourself. Honestly, get a lawyer to draw up paperwork to have her served as well at the same time.
I was far too privy to what went on in my parents marriage from much too early an age. YTA for even thinking about dragging your babies (I don’t care how old they are) into this festering excrement.
Sometimes marriages have to end, it’s the job of the adults to prioritize and protect their children during what for the children are complete changes in their known world. Please don’t sacrifice their well being for some idiotic moment of righteousness.
Dude, using your children in this manner would be nasty & beneath you. I get that you want to confront her & that’s totally fair, but the kids don’t need to have any part in your plans. Try just stepping back & really, honestly looking at it from your kids points of view.
Like, would you have wanted to be drawn into mind games between your parents? And what if things blow up & get nasty? I say it’s just safer to take the high road & go sans kids. Then whatever transpires is between you, your stbew & her manstress. Keep the trauma for the kids to the barest minimum.
From a guy that as a kid caught his dad doing basically the same stuff, please dont. It changed me, and pretty significantly. Honestly I saw both my parents differently after that and remember every detail about that day.
I saw my mom (you in this situation) in just as bad of a light as my dad. Kids shouldn’t be exposed. Drop the kids off with someone and go yourself. Honestly, get a lawyer to draw up paperwork to have her served as well at the same time.
I was far too privy to what went on in my parents marriage from much too early an age. YTA for even thinking about dragging your babies (I don’t care how old they are) into this festering excrement.
Sometimes marriages have to end, it’s the job of the adults to prioritize and protect their children during what for the children are complete changes in their known world. Please don’t sacrifice their well being for some idiotic moment of righteousness.