When this woman is completely frustrated with her husband, she asks the internet:
I love my husband dearly and we have a beautiful life together with two beautiful children. I don't ask for much, because I I'm more than capable of doing or buying for myself.
When we got engaged there was no proposal at all. I knew he wanted to get married, because we talked about the life we wanted to build together (and we started building), but it was like pulling teeth to get a ring.
I finally got the ring and we did a really nice courthouse wedding (neither of us wanted anything more than that). We always said that we didn't want to wedding, but we would have a reception for family and we will go on a honeymoon. The reception happened, but the honeymoon did not.
Fast forward a couple of years, and we still have not gone on our honeymoon. Now obviously this wouldn't be a true honeymoon, because it's been a couple of years and we have two beautiful children, but the one I only thing I truly wanted other than an amazing marriage and happy healthy children (which I have), was a nice, relaxing honeymoon that was just meant for the two of us.
A couple of days ago I brought up going on a honeymoon again, and while my husband did not reject the idea, he didn't seem to want to talk about it, leaving me really upset.
I got very frustrated and angry and told him how I really felt. I'm very mindful not to say anything hurtful, because words are strong and are very impactful, but I did bring up the fact that I do a lot for our family and I didn't even demand a huge wedding and that I think I am very deserving of a honeymoon.
Now, I am planning a honeymoon with or without him. I am more than willing to travel anywhere by myself if he's not willing to plan this out with me. At any moment he can tell me he wants to go and that would make me extremely thrilled, but until then I'm doing this alone. AITA?
persn writes:
I suppose I have to say YTA because there is absolutely no reason to call this a "honeymoon" except for the purpose of digging at him.
Simply put, you did not have a honeymoon. You could have demanded one at the time, but you didn't; it just didn't happen. It's too late to have a honeymoon. This is a vacation. And yes, you can take yourself on a vacation yourself as long as you run it by him. But calling it a solo honeymoon is just stirring the pot.
itnelad writes:
ESH. You seem to prioritize very different things. You prioritized the more normal parts of the engagement/wedding/honeymoon and your husband clearly did not. That doesn't make anyone an ah.
But, his refusal to see your needs is a problem and so is your need to hold this over him still. You either love each other as is, or you don't. You're only calling it a honeymoon to poke at him. At this point it's a long overdue vacation. And he should help make that a priority as it's important to you. Maybe marital counseling would help you really see each other.
agah writes:
NTA. When men can't plan things take matters into your own hands. He can't grow up and book a hotel and flight? BOOK IT YOURSELF. He's incompetent.