'AITA for asking my wife to take down videos she posted of her feeding our son?'

"AITA for asking my wife to remove videos of her feeding our son?"

My (27M) wife (25F) recently gave birth to our son (7MO) and is exclusively breastfeeing. Upon finding out, we decided that she would work for as long as she could and once she was ready she would quit her job and become a SAHM, which she did.

All throughout her pregnancy she was involved in a lot of mom groups on facebook and was heavily into the momfluencer videos on Tik Tok/Instagram, and I figured this was her way of preparing herself or gathering sort of a support system for herself (we recently moved, so she’s still getting to know the people in the area and most of her family is a couple hours drive away).

One month ago, I walked into the bedroom and found her feeding our son, but she was recording herself doing so. Nothing about it gave me weird or provocative vibes, but I did ask why she was recording.

She told me it was just to share in her mom groups and to educate other expecting mothers on the trials and tribulations of breastfeeding, and she also wanted the memories. I was fine with this, and told her so.

Fast forward, and this time when I come home from work and found her again recording, but this time completely topless with both breasts out. I felt a little uncomfortable as I didn’t know why she needed to be naked from the belly up but again, she was feeding my son, so I didn’t say anything.

Now, I’m not big on social media, but after this incident I did decide to log on (and create a tik tok) to see the videos. And, while she was correct in saying these are educational videos (the contents of the videos are strictly about the bond between mother and child and the processes around it, i.e latching, pumping, and her own personal struggles around it) there are LOTS of videos with both of her breasts out.

Just completely topless, not trying to cover one while our son is feeding with the other, no hints of modesty at all. Not to mention, there were tons of perverts watching this, because about 40% of the comments are from creeps commenting on her breasts. And also seeing my son’s face.

When I confronted her with this and asked if she could remove the completely bare videos, she exploded on me. Like, 0-100. She accused me of being a misogynistic @$$hole, and compared me to people who ask mothers in public not to breastfeed at all because it’s “indecent” which I do not agree with at all!

She claims she thought I was “better than this” and even hinted at me being a pervert for acting like the videos were "suggestive", which I never said either. I mean…. I don’t want to come off as a misogynist. I love my wife, and I respect women. I just wanted creepy men to stop commenting on her breasts and having my son exposed in that manner. So this has me thinking…. AITA?

What do you think? AITA? Or is he totally justified in wanting her to take down these videos? This is what top commenters had to say and OP's responses:

Jyqm said:

Oof. NTA. Your wife is way Too Online and her participation in these cult-ish "momfluencer" spheres is seriously clouding her judgment. But look, forget about her tits. That's obviously a non-starter given where she's at right now. You'll probably find yourself on much more solid argumentative ground if you stick with the principle that you don't want your child's face posted all over the internet.

That is not only a perfectly reasonable thing to want, but it's also something you both have an equal stake in. "No photos of the kid on social media unless both parents are okay with it" is a more difficult idea to argue against.

StAlvis said:

NTA. "my son’s face." That's all I was looking for.

I don't care if she wants to show the whole world her breasts.

Just4FunTymz said:

Did she acknowledge the comments? I can understand her being sensitive about your reservations in general but hopefully she can see that she is being used for sick pleasure. The child in the vids definitely has me concerned. Keep communicating.

OP responded:

She claims to just ignore them because majority of the comments are positive and from other mothers supporting/ her doing the same.

tan3ko77 asked:

Are her breasts censored in any way? Because if not, the videos would probably be taken down from most social media platforms (especially TikTok and Instagram)

OP responded:

They are not censored, but for some reason are not being removed? I’m not familiar much with tik tok but if you look on facebook and instagram right now, I’m sure you could find videos of women breastfeeding. I’ve come across them on my feed without even searching for anything of the sort.

NiceReplacement1033 said:

Nah mate. Thats gaslighting. Nobody cares about women breastfeeding. But showing your tatas off on social media is totally different. No way a woman of mine is doing that.

OP responded:

I didn’t want to believe she was trying to gaslight me but instead thought she’s just going through post powerful and that’s why she initially blew up at me. Thank you

And BroodingSonata said:

NTA - this crosses a line into oversharing imo. Comparing feeding a hungry baby in public to posting a totally topless video online is ridiculous. She is enjoying the attention and getting likes. The whole influencer thing is toxic BS.