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Husband defends friendship with childhood best friend after wife deems gift inappropriate. AITA? + UPDATE

Husband defends friendship with childhood best friend after wife deems gift inappropriate. AITA? + UPDATE

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"My wife wants me to cut off contact with my girl best friend after the birthday gift she gave me. Am I wrong for telling my wife no?'

My wife and I have been married for 5 years and together for 10. Growing up, I was really close friends with my best friend Emma as she was my next door neighbor. We did a lot of things together and we were pretty much like adopted siblings.n

We maintained our friendship through adulthood, and Emma was even best woman at my wedding. My wife and Emma are also friends; they’re not super close but they get along well.

A few months ago, my mom showed me a pic from childhood she took of me and Emma. Emma and I were kids in the pic, but that was honestly the cutest pic I have ever seen.

In the pic I was showing Emma the stars in the sky at night and pointing towards it, and Emma was just laying on the ground and smiling and looking at me. I showed both my wife and Emma the pic and they both thought it was really cute too.

My birthday was yesterday, and we had a small party where we invited some friends from our friend group. When I unwrapped Emma’s gift, it was a framed pic of that childhood photo of me and her.

Emma told me she made a framed pic for herself too and she hung it on her wall. Everyone thought it was a really cool gift. However, when I spoke to my wife later that night, she told me to cut off contact with Emma because she thought it was a really inappropriate gift.

I was shocked and asked my wife why, because this was a pic of 2 kids playing on the grass, 2 kids who are like siblings. I told my wife I wasn’t going to cut off contact with Emma, and that maybe she was just drunk and needed to cool it off.

I spoke to my wife this morning, and my wife did say she overreacted last night but she still thinks it’s an inappropriate gift with romantic connotations, especially given that Emma had hung that same portrait on her wall.

I told my wife there’s nothing inappropriate about this gift, it just signifies the close friendship and sibling like bond of 2 people.

Am I wrong?

Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:

Rooster0778

Have you ever hooked up with Emma? If so, is your wife aware of it?

RandJitsu

These are the two most important questions.

This isn’t about the picture ( or the Iranian yogurt). You wife feels insecure and this is the last straw for her. You should figure out why she feels this way. That doesn’t mean that you are wrong. It does mean that you owe it to your marriage to listen to your wife and figure this out.

How close are you and Emma? Say is there space for your wife on an emotional level? Good much contact to you and Emma have? Your wife feels insecure about your connection because you know each other for so long. Maybe she feels like she can’t compete with that. It’s time for a long talk or even couples therapy.

(OP)

Emma and I have always been really close. Most of our core memories from childhood and teenage years are with each other. But of course there’s space for my wife on emotional level, my wife is my romantic partner. It’s a totally different type of relationship from Emma. Emma and I have a sibling like relationship.

Your wife is not wrong about it having more significance than you think. I might give my brother a framed family photo as a gift, but it wouldn't be for his birthday and I wouldn't be hanging the twin on my wall.

pussmykissy

Bro…..You are a married man, respect your wife. You and Emma can be friends without all of this sentimental garbage, that’s what romantic partners do. You are dense as a pole if you can’t see it.

IDK I’m a woman and i have 100% platonic long term guy friends who are in relationships, and I personally could never see me doing this (gifting a framed photo with the expectation of hanging it up and also hanging up a framed photo myself). I think it’s a little over the top. Like, Emma displayed she’s on the top rung by doing that.

Put the picture on the fridge? sure. IDK why but the extra mile of framed to hang in your (marital) home is overkill. I can’t imagine doing that to my guy friends girls, having to give them decor of me and their partner that they have to hang up on their home lmao.

I also can’t imagine a truly platonic guy friend gifting this to me either. Paired with Emma being your best friend and you keep saying “we’re like siblings” is something reserved for co-gendered friendships that feel the need to prove it’s platonic, in my experience.

Give the photo to your mom. If it’s purely a sweet childhood memory, it’s more appropriate for your mom to keep it.

Mojitobozito

I have long term guy friends that I'm super close with but have never had a romantic relationship with, and I can tell you I would never think to give this kind of gift. I would expect this would make their partners uncomfortable.

Giving you a photo - yes. But framing it and expecting your wife to display it with pride? No. I also definitely know I wouldn't be keeping a matching one for my wall. It seems too much. I understand your perspective, but I also really really get your wife's feelings on this as well.

No your wife isn't overreacting. If my husband's "best friend" that he used to cuddle with, give back rubs to etc gave him a gift like that, it would be the last straw. Obviously there was some intimacy there. You marry someone, you pick them. Always.

So, what do you think about this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit
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