Vegetarian/veganism is rising in popularity as more people choose the lifestyle for environmental or animal rights concerns. Meat eaters always want to know where vegans get protein, and vegans retaliate with moral superiority leading to a tension-riddled relationship.
On a popular Reddit thread on the Am I the A**hole Subreddit, a woman decides to go vegetarian, and her husband has some notes.
Hey, I'm 29 my husband is 34. We have a 5-month-old daughter. I have decided I want to become a veggie mainly for environmental reasons. I've been considering doing this for some time, as meat production has a hugely negative effect. Having our daughter has made me a bit more eco-conscious as I am afraid of the future world she'll live in.
I've been trying to reduce the meat in my diet for some time. My husband doesn't want to do this and complains whenever I cook a meatless meal. I am a SAHM and cook almost all of our meals. I've told him I don't want to cook meat anymore and that if he wants to eat it, he can cook it himself and that he is lucky I am cooking for him every day, whatever I cook.
However, he says I should at least cook meat and add this to the meal for him. He says I can't force him to change his diet and eat less meat, but I say that I'm not, as he can still cook himself meat. He says it is unfair on him to force this major lifestyle change on him. And he thinks I am being hypocritical and petty, not cooking meat anymore when I've eaten it all my life.
He thinks it is silly for me not to cook meat for him if he is going to do it later, as I am just saving him from cooking meat, and the amount of meat cooked will be the same, so he thinks the only result in this is me not doing something nice for him.
But I think doing that would be a massive inconvenience for me and also defeats the purpose of becoming a vegetarian in the first place. I do kinda understand his point of view. He also is unhappy that I plan to cook veggie meals for our daughter and thinks it is unfair to force her into being a vegetarian, but again, I don't think I am, as I don't plan on stopping her from eating meat in school, etc.
YTA (You're the A**hole).
You’re the SAHP, and you cook most of the meals. That is the setup that you and your husband have agreed to.
Suddenly telling him he needs to cook his meals or go vegetarian is not reasonable. You’re either passing off a duty that you used to do (cooking his meals) onto him without any discussion or making him vegetarian with you.
And your daughter has two parents - both of you should have a say in the diet and mentality she is raised on.
Relationships have a division of labor. It sounds like one of your responsibilities is cooking. I'm going to say YTA on two accounts.
This is part of your division of labor, and you've just decided, out of nowhere, to stop cooking meat - which he likes/expects, and I'm assuming is what he's normally eaten.
Your child is both of yours, not just yours. It doesn't seem correct that you get to make a decision that the child will be vegetarian. That should be a joint decision.
This is a division of labor problem/problem of compromise. It can’t be decided unless we know 100% of the ways both you and your husband contribute to the relationship.
However, you should 100% be able to not cook meat. IS HE EVEN DOING ANYTHING besides working??? So far, your husband is an a**hole for insisting on meat meals and acting like a baby when he sees some veggies instead of appreciating that there’s a warm meal on the table for him. NTA (Not the A**hole).
NTA, but you're not going to get any fair answers from the cult of meat of the internet. In LITERALLY any other post, people will support their 'sistas' when they draw boundaries and negotiate with their partners, e.g. how they cook and clean and split money, etc. I don't see how your situation is any different except for your trying not to eat meat.