Bride tells husband to return his sister’s wedding gift after 'sibling dances' at wedding were 'too intimate.'
"My wife wants me to return back my sister’s wedding gift because she thought our sibling dance was too intimate."
SeaContexts
My wife (26F) and I (28M) got married a couple of months ago. The wedding was amazing, we also went on an amazing honeymoon. Everything went great, and we have settled into our nice married life.
However, last night, my wife wanted to talk about something serious. We don’t shy away from expressing our emotions and insecurities to each other. She brought up our wedding and she talked about how my sibling dance with my sister (26F) was too intimate.
I first thought my wife was joking, but I quickly realized she was serious. I asked her if anyone else at the wedding thought that, and she said no, but because everyone was too scared to say it.
I told her that’s a straight up lie; and I have close friends who would have said something, but they didn't. Everyone had a good time at the wedding, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. My sister and I have never really shied away from affection, we know some siblings get awkward with that, but we’re the opposite of that.
My wife then asked if we could give my sister’s wedding gift back to her as we haven’t used it yet. It’s a La Marzocco GS3 espresso machine, which is by far the most expensive gift we have gotten out of all the gifts. My wife said the gift just made her feel insecure.
I told my wife she was being completely irrational, and that’s the most ridiculous thing she has ever said. I was probably a bit crude with my words, but I just thought the whole thing was ridiculous.
She then dropped the topic and we carried on like normal. We also used the espresso machine for the first time today, and it’s pretty amazing. Was I an AH for telling my wife she was being ridiculous?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
GingerPrince72
WTAF is a wedding sibling dance?
Successful_Moment_91
Maybe something like the MotherBoy dance in Arrested Development.
Decent-Trip-1776
I’ve seen it once when the father of the bride passed away and she did it with her older brother who was about 10 years older than her. She hugged him tight the entire time but no one found it weird, just a big brother being there for his sister for what was probably a hard moment.
However, I’ve also known siblings that were uncomfortably affectionate and it felt weird when they were grinding at prom. Where her older brother who had already graduated was her date. So I need more context for this one lol.
shamespiral60
I need to see the wedding video.
Libs4trump
It would be insulting for you to return the gift to your sister, but it's also not worth causing a rift with your new wife. The right thing to do is to give me the Marzocco. That's some nice machine!
Massive-Nobody-56
You say you don't shy away from affection from your sister. What does that mean in the context of a dance? That is vague, at best, and I've never heard of a sibling dance at a wedding. You didn't really give any context as to why your wife might have thought what she did.
RedstnPhoenx
I... feel like we need more context? Like, genuinely, how can one make a distinction without seeing this dance? Sure, maybe your wife is crazy. But you're also on AITA asking about your brand new wife right after your wedding, and l... that's weird? Was this a nice tango? Grinding? Can we get a description?
AsparagusOverall8454
Multiple slow dances with your sister IS weird.
kerfy15
In your comments you say you danced to numerous slow LOVE songs together. 2 of them being the top 2 love songs on most HUSBAND and WIFE first dance to on their wedding night. Dude gtfo of here with your weird I want to fuck my sister fetish please.
ghjkl098
It sounds like your wife is right based on the songs you danced with your sister to. Why was there more than one? Why did you slow dance with your sister to what are obviously very intimate songs traditionally used as bride and groom songs?? It sounds to me like your wife is right but you and your sister just haven’t realised how inappropriate it is.
grayblue_grrl
"We don’t shy away from expressing our emotions and insecurities to each other."
Except she did. She waited a few months to have this conversation. Then, she told you what she felt and you told her she was ridiculous. And now things are swept under the rug.
You are both ignoring that she suggested you have an "incestuous relationship" with your sister... while also ignoring/demeaning her feelings or why she said this. I'd say you are doing a mighty fine job of NOT communicating at all. Demeaning your wife's feelings and insecurities. Maybe she's afraid to talk to you about any of this.
Do you have the dance on video? Maybe have a look at it to see if you can see anything that would make her think/feel that. Maybe ask your "close friends who would have said something, but they didn't" maybe because they weren't asked? But dude.... no matter why she felt the way she does, how wrong or right she was, YTA.
LadyReika
One of his comments he said he slow danced with his sister through multiple songs including John Legend's "All of Me" and Etta James's "At Last", but he couldn't remember all of it. Both of those songs you'd expect a new groom to dance with his bride, not his sister.
Used_Mark_7911
First of all, a sibling dance is not a common tradition. I see in your comments that your mother passed away, so I guess that the reason you chose to have a dance with your sister as kind of a tribute to your mother? That’s fine, but FYI mother-son dances are usually one song.
So YTA for allowing your sister to select multiple romantic songs that must have gone on for 15 minutes or more while you held each other in a a not-so-sibling-like embrace. I think your wife is right that the other guests would be too embarrassed to even bring it up to your face, but trust me they are probably talking about it behind your back.
Maybe your sister is struggling with “losing” you to your wife when she has already lost a mother? I don’t know, but her need for so much attention from you at your wedding is definitely odd.
Putting the ick factor aside, the wedding was supposed to be about you and your wife, not you and your sister. So you really should not have allowed your sister to take such a big chunk of the event for your multiple sibling dances. Keep the coffee machine, but don’t dismiss your wife’s observations and feelings about this.