'AITA for telling my wife she doesn't have a job, she has a hobby?'
"AITA for telling my wife she doesn't have a job, she has a hobby?"
Ok so some context my wife is a house wife and is charge of all the chores since I usually leave around 7 in the morning and return at around 7 at night as I work long hours. That's simply the nature of having your own firm and the commute is a hour both ways.
So recently my wife wanted to use her English degree to use and try and publish a book which thought she was just doing as something to pass the time. So over the past few weeks, chores like the dishes and dusting haven't been getting done and started pilling up.
So, I decided to talk to her about it and she told me that I have to start doing some of the chores as she is working now too. I told her that's not a job, just a hobby until she starts making money and I tried to tell her that we agreed that she takes care of the house while I make the money.
She got mad at me about this and claimed I was belittling her. I tried to defend myself by explaining I'm not mocking her but that's just a matter of the fact that her writing doesn't make any money meaning it's not a real job and just something she does for her own enjoyment.
After some back and forth, she got even more mad at me and has decided to go sleep in the guest room for the time being and is in general a bit annoyed with me but has started to take care of the chores. So AITA?
Edit- For full transparency we do have a 7 year old daughter together but she goes to school at around 7:35 in the morning and comes back almost 5pm in the evening after her extracurriculars. So, my wife only watches her for about 2 hours without me each day, which is why I refer to her as a stay at home wife and not mom.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Daddygamer423
You are 100% correct in this. House chores with no kids takes an hour a day at the most. wtf is going on in this world. He added that they have a kid after my initial post. Still an hour a day to clean the house where two adults live (child not included) is plenty of time as long as they are normal adults and pickup after themselves.
If you or someone you know destroys their home and never picks up after themselves then you or they need serious help. I don’t count folding laundry while watching TV in the one hour cleaning.
If you’re sucking wind and sweating bullets after thirty minutes of vacuuming then you should get in better shape. Seriously, anyone complaining please get over yourself.
Etugen
House chores without kids don’t take an hour a day at the most if you’re actually doing the house chores and not putting 3-5 pieces of dishes in the dishwasher and calling it a day.
CakeEatingRabbit
ESH? I think she should be doing (nearly) all of the chores still. But you really could've worded everything better. Complaining about dusting also seems a little... picky.
Yes, it is basically 'her job', but you are not her boss. And you really didn't take her serious! You wrote here yourself that you see it as a pass time. Show a bit more respect and support to your wife. It literally would cost you neither money nor time.
MamasaurusRex17
But it is a past time. She has no book deal, no publisher interested. It's literally her writing a story. Which is just a hobby- unless she gets paid. Lots of people write as a hobby.
asdrunkasdrunkcanbe
Lots of people work on creative arts without having a particular customer or paying job lined up. Artists produce work and then put them on display in the hope that they'll be sold. Musicians write songs and then perform them in public in the hope of gathering an audience.
Writers write books and send them to publishers in the hope they'll be taken up on it. It's incredibly condescending to say it's not a real job until/unless you've been paid for it.
She has clearly expressed her desire to publish a book, not just write one for fun. Which means she is pursuing it as a job, if not a career. The best way to start a career in the creative arts, is to treat it like a job and not a hobby. Which is why it's so difficult; because you're not getting paid from the start.