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Woman is accused of being 'greedy' after roommates discover she can afford to live alone. AITA?

Woman is accused of being 'greedy' after roommates discover she can afford to live alone. AITA?


"AITA for living in a house share when I can afford not to?"

So I am 27F, living in a house share in a reasonably priced city in England. I moved here during the pandemic for what was meant to be a temporary move, but I liked it more than I expected so I stayed once things went back to normal.

I live in a 3 bed house, where I have my own bathroom and office. I share with 2 other women my age. I pay more rent because I occupy more space. The girls I live with are nice. We're not besties, but we watch tv together and occasionally hang out outside the house - a pretty sweet arrangement where I'm concerned.

Recently, one my housemates accidentally opened a letter for my employer which detailed a new pay rise and bonus I was getting. I believe it was an accident because it was in a regular white envelope and at a glance our names look similar enough for this to happen. She says it wasn't until she was glancing over it that she realised it wasn't hers - that part I have a difficult time reading.

The problem is she knows how much I earn. It's a lot by London standards - which is where my job's based - so it's a lot a lot by northern standards, which is where I live. She started off acting strangely, then passive and its escalated to hostile. It came to a head when I sent a payment reminder for the money she owes me for a shared takeaway on Monzo.

She sent a voice note on the whatsapp group calling me a 'greedy southern cow', who was penny pinching when I can more than afford to let this go and let her get the next one. The thing is, we've never done that - there's no precedent for it and I don't see why we should start under these circumstances.

The third roommate started off silent, but I guess they spoke behind my back because the called a flat meeting and said that I'm 'basically minted' to it's 'cheeky' to ask the roommate to pay me back my around $20 when I can afford to let it go.

It escalated to me being called a Tory, accused of mocking them by 'pretending to be like them' and living in a house share when I can afford to live alone. They said given the state of the economy, it's only fair I pay more because I can pay more.

I told them no. I said it's not my fault they chose low paying careers - teaching and nursing - and pointed out I'm already paying significantly more rent than everyone and our house isn't exactly cheap to begin with.

I refuse to let them punish me because I'm doing well in life and they're not. I feel I've now isolated them but I really don't think I'm in the wrong. Happy to corrected if I am though.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

GymBloke123 said:

NTA, but I would consider moving out. Your housemates are jealous and entitled. I had a housemate who started stealing from me for much less - when I mentioned in passing that I had got into university on a scholarship. (It didn’t mean I didn’t have loans, just a bursary)

Also, I’ve had housemates like you, I’ve never felt entitled to their money. I have had generous friends pay for things so we can hang out and do the fun stuff they wanted to do when I couldn’t afford it, but I would still pay my own way where possible and pay them back when I owned them money.

Actually; flat rule. If someone owes you money and doesn’t think they should pay you back, they don’t respect you. The friendship should be over immediately.

Fuzzy-Pin-2414 said:

NTA. If by “house share” you just mean living in a house with roommates, I’m confused about what the issue is. People live below their means all of the time, it doesn’t make you selfish or inconsiderate. They found out you have money and they’re trying to use that to make their lives easier.

Additional_Jaguar_76 said:

NTA. You have roommates. You’re allowed to have roommates. You being financially responsible does not make them entitled to pay for less than their share. Feel free to move out and let them figure out how to split the rent in half, and not by thirds. Your roommates are entitled AF.

Forward_Squirrel8879 said:

NTA - This is not a commune, it is a house share. Its not as though you've been pleading poverty and expecting them to cover your bills. You are simply expecting them to continue to cover their own costs. Your decision to live below your means to save money has nothing to do with them or their finances.

Rhades said:

NTA, you don't have to subsidize your roommates just because you make more money than they do, and you don't have to apologize for that. It might be too late to save these relationships, which kinda sucks, but don't let it deter you from trying again with new roommates if you decide that's what you want. Just because you can live alone doesn't mean you have to.

stroppo said:

NTA. Your roommates are entitled creeps. It shouldn't matter how much $$ you have when you make a loan. There's an obligation to pay it back. Doesn't matter how much the person loaning the $$ has. You know what happens when people say "oh, you can afford it."

Then you end up paying the next time. And the next. And the next. They'll completely take advantage of you. Unfortunately, since your roommates are being such brats about it, you may have to look for other accommodations. But keep to a shared rental if that's what you like.

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this situation?

Sources: Reddit
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