Woman asks another customer to turn phone off speaker at high-end restaurant. AITA? 'This is OVER.'

"AITA for asking a woman to turn her phone off speaker at a high end restaurant?"

My (50/f), husband (52/m) took my mother and her partner out to dinner at a 4 star restaurant. We had just finished our appetizers when the table next to us was seated, middle aged woman and a teenager. As the woman walked by our table she had her cell phone in hand and I quickly realized she was on a phone call and it was on speaker.

The other tables around us were also occupied and people at those started turning toward her as the conversation was very loud. The woman and the person on the call were essentially speaking to each other with raised voices. Our entrees were brought out and despite several people around the woman just kept going with her conversation, phone propped up by her water glass while the teenager was on her phone.

Here is where I may have been the ahole. While we were eating. A couple was seated on the other side of the woman and teenager. They sat for a few minutes and when the server came to introduce himself they asked to be moved to a different table. They clearly said it was because of this woman having a phone conversation. We finished our entrees and were waiting to order dessert.

The teen had gotten up from the table. I leaned over and said, “excuse me. Would you mind taking the phone off speaker? It’s very disruptive to those around you. Several tables have been staring at you hoping you would do so.”

She responded back that “if she were sitting here in the restaurant you would be able to hear the conversation” to which I replied “I would certainly hope that you would not be speaking in raised voices if you were sitting two feet from each other at a table.” She said “I’m turning it down.”

I said “thank you because it is very disruptive.” At this point she says “listen. I’m a grown woman. This is over.” I said nothing. We had our dessert and left and as we were leaving, she said loudly to the person on the phone, ok they are gone I’m turning this up so I can hear you.” AITA for asking her to take the phone off speaker phone?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Fearless_Lychee_6050 said:

If one is on their phone NOT ON SPEAKER and is talking at a normal speaking volume, that's not a disruption. When you have your phone turned all the way up in an already noisy environment it causes shrill and high pitched sounds to come out of the phone, plus you said the woman was talking loudly. The staff definitely should have said something to her. NTA.

LowBalance4404 said:

NTA, but I would have spoken to the manager and asked them to deal with it and point to the other table that asked to be re-seated.

underyou271 said:

What are these four stars you speak of? Four stars on Yelp? It sounds like she was on this loud call throughout your entire dinner service, so what like 45 mins? There is no way an actual fine dining establishment lets this stand. It's atrocious.

Speaking to the server or a host about it on no uncertain terms would put an end to it immediately. Approaching the woman directly on your own should be unnecessary. NTA, but your approach was ineffective. Let the people being paid to create a fine dining experience fight that battle.

starksdawson said:

Ugh, I despise people who use speakerphone in public. We GET IT, they think they’re more important than EVERYONE. I remember I was on a bus one time and some lady was using speakerphone for like an HOUR. When she got off, someone said ‘there is a God’ and we all laughed our asses off. Speakerphone is for PRIVATE calls, NOT for using in public unless there’s some rare exception. NTA.

m33chm said:

NTA and if I’d been the hostess at that restaurant I wouldn’t have seated her. That stuff is rude af. Stop talking on speaker in public.

shrug987 said:

Absolutely NTA. I can't stand entitled people like that woman who have no regard or awareness for the other people orbiting around them.