Woman asks boyfriend to pay appraised price for vase his kid broke, 'he makes 800K.' AITA?
"AITA for asking my boyfriend to send me the appraised price for the vase his son broke when I got it for much cheaper?"
So I (23F) am an avid shopper and I love to get things at estate sales in my area. I buy all my designer goods (most vintage so its amazing quality) from them and they’re a hidden gem since barely any people even go to them in my area so Ive been able to find amazing things.
I bought so much jewelry/clothes/furniture from estate sales that I later get appraised for thousands while I spent 300 on it max. Ive been able to find amazing things for a cheap price.
I love to decorate my condo with the things I buy and make sure all my extremely expensive things are kept safe in a storage unit. Once I buy a house in the next upcoming years is when I will bring them out.
I went to an estate sale this summer and bought mostly clothes, and also a beautiful vase. I bought it for 40 dollars and it didnt look expensive to me, but another collector friend of mine saw it in the background of one of my stories and asked me where I got it from and said it looked like a vintage vase hes been looking for.
I went and got it appraised and come to find out its worth 3,500 dollars. I made sure to get its authentication as well. I did leave it in my bookcase and decided to keep it as decoration even though I typically put expensive furniture/decor in my storage unit.
This week my boyfriend (30M) came over and unexpectedly brought his ten year old son. He lives in NYC with his mom and he has him during the summer, but he came back to stay with my boyfriend for a bit since his mom just had a baby that was in the NICU. I didnt mind since his son is nice and has never damaged anything of mine.
When his dad and I were cooking in the kitchen he was watching TV in my living room. All of a sudden I hear a crash and we run into my living room to see my new vase shattered.
His son started crying saying he wanted to see a book I had in my bookshelf and saw the vase and thought it looked cool and “touched it” and it fell. His dad reassured him and saying its okay he’ll replace it and to make sure hes not hurt.
I was upset but said it was okay and kept my composure. Later I spoke to him when he came over alone and we agreed hes to pay me back. He asked me how much it is and I said it's worth 3,500. He raised an eyebrow and asked how much I paid since he knows I always find things at the sales and I was honest and said 40 dollars.
He told me he would pay me the 40 and I said absolutely not. Just because the woman that sold me it didn’t know its true price doesn’t mean I dont and if I ever sold it I would charge its appraisal worth so he needs to pay me back the appraised price.
He's not hurting for money, he makes 800k a year. I make 200k so I'm not asking him to as if I dont have money, its the principle since his son broke it he should pay the appraised price. He sent me the money but was upset saying I'm an ahole since I got it for so much cheaper. AITA?
Here's what the top commenters had to say:
ProfessionalCorgi680 said:
ESH. Rich people problems are so hard.
Jayseek4 said:
Yes, YTA. Avid shopper, not a biz. ‘If I ever sold it’ and appraised value aren’t the same as for sale, or what one could get for it. Can’t go wrong treating friends and family like you’d want to be treated, especially a nice kid who took it badly. As far as principles go, this feels like turning a kid’s accident into a money grab.
No_Wishbone_4829 said:
If I was the boyfriend I would pay for the vase then breakup with you.
seandc121 said:
Truly TA. what sort of person expects to make grossly overinflated profit from their partner, because that is what we are talking about. an appraisal is the estimated worth if you are able to sell it. your partner should reconsider his relationship with you, if this is how you treat them. shameful.
psycholinguist1 said:
No, NTA. The repayment is not to reimburse you what you spent. Repaying what you spent returns you to the state you were in before you bought the vase. But that's not what's needed here. What's needed here is to return you to the state you were in before his kid broke the vase. That means you need to replace the vase, and that means he has to pay you what it will cost to replace it.
If you find a replacement for $40, or $400, then you should return the excess cash to him. But the only thing you know now is that the vase was worth $3500, so that's what he has to give you.
The fact that you both can afford this kind of expense means that the question is much more straightforward than it might otherwise be if $3500 were fully out of his reach.
EBSD said:
Soft YTA you still would have had to get someone to buy it. Just because it was appraised for that much doesn't mean you would have been able to sell it for that much. Unless you had a buyer lined up you really only lost 40 dollars.
Impossible_Horse1973 said:
Yta - Be gracious. It was an accident.