Woman asks if it was wrong to not pay the bill for fiancé's cancer survivor friend.
If you're struggling, your friends will come to your aid if you ask for help. At least good friends would be more than happy to be there for you. On a popular Reddit thread, one woman's generosity is tested by her fiancé's friend.
AITA for leaving the restaurant when my fiance told me to pay for his friend's meal just because he had cancer?
Congrats to Steve!
So, my f28 fiance Jack, m30 has a friend Steve, m33 who had cancer but is now doing better. He's one of Jack's closest friends, and Jack was there for him all the way to the end of treatment. Steve started going out to socialize again which is great!
The cancer card has been played.
However, Whenever we go out, Jack will expect me to pay for Steve's meals or drinks using the excuse of 'he had cancer; show some empathy.' We went to an electronics shop once, and Jack told me to pay for Steve's purchases because 'he's had cancer.' I sucked it up once and twice but then told him I couldn't do it anymore.
He emphasized the fact that Steve had cancer and reminded me of how his financial status was affected and so 'we' should help from time to time. But funny how I'm always the one paying.
Okay, very suspicious of Steve.
Yesterday, Jack and I were at a restaurant for lunch. Steve somehow showed up and sat with us. We ate lunch and chattered before we left as I was about to pay the bill. Jack gestured for me to pay for Steve's meal too. I played dumb and said, 'I'm sorry, but why should I pay for his meal?' Jack didn't wanna say 'because he had cancer and is struggling' out loud and in front of Steve, so he asked me to step outside so we could talk.
I refused and said that there was nothing to say, that Steve had unfortunate cancer and all that, but that in no way makes him entitled to my money. Steve looked stunned; he glanced at Jack, and Jack was fuming. He told me to 'just pay this time,' but I only paid for our lunch, then got up and made my way out. I heard him repeatedly apologizing to Steve as I was walking out.
Jack does not seem happy.
Jack didn't come home but left four nasty texts calling me unhinged, petty, selfish, short-sighted, and unsympathetic to what his friend went through. I texted back that his friend's unfortunate circumstances aren't my responsibility, nor are they my fault. He said I'd lose nothing if I just paid for his lunch and that walking out on him was nasty beyond comprehension.
I think Jack is in love love with Steve.
I told him he could've paid for him if he felt strongly about it. He responded by saying I was being willingly ignorant since I know he's out of a job now and said that a small act of kindness would've gone a long way, but I made it about myself and my money and jeopardized his friendship for no reason. He's still mad, saying he won't speak to me til I make it up to him and Steve.
AITA for walking and refusing to pay?
Johnny_evil says:
NTA (Not the A**hole) - Dump this guy. Let him date Steve.
ProfessionalCar6255 says:
NTA.... Are you sure he isn't inviting his friend out on your dime with the premise he told his friend you were treating him?
RaRa_Badger says:
Why are YOU paying and not your BF? NTA, and I’d end this relationship.