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Woman asks if she was wrong to get her own cat because she hated her roommates cat.

Woman asks if she was wrong to get her own cat because she hated her roommates cat.


Cats have strong opinions about everything around them, and those opinions are usually hateful. Being touched, new people and even other animals are all things cats don't take kindly, which makes their love so much better when you get it.

On a popular Reddit thread, one woman dislikes her roommate's cat so much that she gets her own, but that opens a new world of trouble.

She writes:

I (24F) live with my girlfriend (25F) and a roommate (23F). We share a two-bedroom apartment and have lived together for two years now. Up until now, we have gotten along pretty well.

My roommate has an elderly cat. The cat is quite mean; she doesn’t like my girlfriend or me and will run away if we try to pet her or pick her up. So we avoid each other.

My roommate asked if we had cats before moving in because she said her cat 'doesn’t like other cats.' We did not have any pets then, so it worked out. We told her we might want one someday, and she said we would have to revisit the issue if it came up.

Well, my girlfriend and I have gotten to a place where we want our pets. We saw a kitten at the shelter and fell in love with him. We got the okay from our landlord and brought him home last week! His name is Banana Pudding!

Our roommate is furious with us. She told us that we knew her cat didn’t like other cats. I told her honestly that it was unfair for us to tiptoe around her cat and that we were allowed to have our pets as long as the landlord was okay with it (which he is). She couldn’t expect us never to get a pet or to cater to her cat’s needs 24/7. The conversation ended there.

Unfortunately, things have escalated because her cat hisses and swats at Banana Pudding just for existing. She is honestly pretty aggressive, which is a big issue. Our kitten is very friendly and sweet and causes no problems.

We asked our roommate to keep her cat in her bedroom since she’s elderly and aggressive. She refused and hasn’t been speaking to us. She says we are huge AHs and even got mutual friends to take her side.

If her cat is aggressive and uncomfortable, it’s her responsibility to live alone. It’s gotten so bad that my girlfriend is crying and considering taking the kitten back to the shelter. So here I am to get an outside perspective because I don't know what to think now.

The internet is riddled with cat experts.

Dipping_My_Toes says:

YTA (You're the A**hole) - the older cat was there first, and your roommate warned you that he did not like other cats. Instead of having any kind of conversation, you just brought home a kitten and now expect an elderly cat to be confined to one room for the rest of his life. You are most indeed the a**holes here. That cat deserves to live out his life in peace, and if you want to keep your kitten, you better find somewhere else to live. Your roommate has every right to be angry, and you are out of line.

zodiac1360 says:

YTA. You should have at least brought up the fact you were getting a kitten sometime soon, and not just show up with it. Also your cat is new, why does the old cat have to stay inside the room.

FarTransportation714 says:

YTA for doing this without discussing with your roommate. Please watch Jackson Galaxy on how to properly introduce cats. It's never too late to start the process, and it takes time and effort but it really works.

OP had an update:

So I am the AH. The comments have helped me to understand that my roommate’s cat is just acting like a cat! I am willing to admit I was ignorant and impulsive. I have never had a pet before and should have researched more before considering pet ownership. I plan to apologize to my roommate sincerely.

She is willing to talk once she gets home from work. I will see if she’s ready to try a proper introduction for both kitties, and Banana Pudding will be staying in our room for the duration while her kitty can roam. I am hopeful that things will work out, and I want to thank everyone for being blunt and educating me. I was impulsive and inconsiderate, but my roommate is a great person, and I think she will forgive us and be willing to try to make it work.

And it seemed to work!

My roommate and I have talked. I apologized to her for being selfish and ignorant and putting her cat in an uncomfortable situation. She forgave me and said she’d be happy to help do a proper introduction between the kitties. She said that if we do things slowly and carefully, her cat might be able to accept Banana Pudding. Our kitten will be staying in our room for the introduction process.

My roommate is very kind and forgiving, and I’m very thankful that she chose to forgive me after I was such a huge AH to her. She also taught me a little about cat body language, and guys, her cat came and sat on my lap! She even purred! She played with Banana Pudding and gave me some cat food recommendations. I think things are going to work out.

A rare occurrence in this Subreddit! A happy ending!

Sources: Reddit
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