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"I went to a wedding alone because my GF took forever to get ready, am I a jerk?"

"I went to a wedding alone because my GF took forever to get ready, am I a jerk?"


Every relationship has someone that gets ready quickly and somebody that takes forever. If you're thinking, 'my relationship doesn't have that,' then you're the one that takes too long. On a popular Reddit thread on the Am I the A**hole Subreddit, a woman has had enough of her girlfriend not being ready on time.

AITA for leaving my girlfriend behind because she was taking too long to get ready?

Proof the 'friend zone' doesn't exist.

I (f24) have a girlfriend 'Hannah' (f26). We were friends in college and reconnected and have been dating for around seven months.

OP wants to present her research on the non-existence of the friend zone at this event.

A few days ago, it was my cousin's wedding, and everyone was allowed a plus-one, including myself. I asked Hannah if she wanted to go with me, and she agreed; she's a huge social butterfly and loves big events.

Advance notice is essential.

The venue is around a two-hour drive from my home, so I made it clear to Hannah that we needed to leave early so as not to be late. The ceremony started at 2 PM, so I said we should aim to go a little after 11 AM to allow for traffic and stop on the way if we needed to.

'Nearly done' sounds like code for nowhere near done.

Hannah is super into makeup and hair and takes a very long time to get ready. When 10:30 AM rolled around, I gently reminded Hannah that we needed to leave soon to get there on time. She told me she was nearly done and not to worry.

10:50 AM rolls around, and Hannah doesn't look anywhere near ready. I told her we needed to leave soon and reminded her of the time. Hannah told me to chill and that she was nearly ready.

The clock hits 0!

Once it reached 11 AM, Hannah still wasn't ready. I told her that we needed to leave ASAP. Hannah told me to calm down and that she was nearly ready, she wasn't even dressed yet!!

When in doubt, give her the 'nearly ready.'

I started getting panicky and told Hannah to please hurry up. Hannah got mad and said that she's told me she was nearly ready.

Overtime did not help.

By the time it was 11:20 AM, Hannah STILL wasn't ready. I got annoyed and told Hannah that I would leave without her if she weren't prepared in 10 minutes. I don't think she believed me. She just laughed and told me I was being silly.

At least Hannah didn't make you late, OP!

I ended up leaving without her because, by 11:30, she was still in her pj's. I managed to get to the wedding on time, which was great. After the ceremony, I noticed Hannah blowing up my phone.

Maybe Hannah has a point, but five minutes seems like a stretch.

I called her back, and she immediately started screaming at me and said that I'm obsessed with being 'ridiculously early to things,' and said that I need to be more understanding and that if I had waited five minutes, she would've been ready. She said I'm a selfish jerk and need to evaluate my priorities. I couldn't get any word in before Hannah hung up the phone.

Since then, Hannah has been ignoring me, and I'm wondering if I was in the wrong.

Glass_Status_5837 says:

NTA (Not the A**hole). People saying you were being too conservative are the ones who are habitually late.

It was a two-hour drive, not 10 minutes. Google maps can guesstimate based on current traffic conditions but can't predict an accident along your route. A rain shower causes the need to reduce speed, or an oversized vehicle with an escort crew slows down traffic with no way to pass. Etc.

Also, the wedding was due to start at two but depending on the formality of the wedding, the venue, etc., you need time to park, get to the ceremony location, hang your coat and, find your seat, perhaps greet the priest if it's in a church. No one wants to be that person trying to sneak into the wedding after it's already started.

You gave her time to be ready. I even pushed it back by half an hour. She needed to start getting ready earlier. She disrespected your time. That is what it is. Disrespect.

JazzyKnowsBest13 says:

NTA. She had a whole extra 30 minutes. There is no excuse for not getting out to the car.

I say this as someone who has issues with time management. It's not fair to make someone else late for something that's important to them. Put on the outfit at the 10:50 warning and take your makeup and hairbrush to the car. She'd have two hours in the car to primp.

I disagree with those questioning what time you got there, the implication being that if you were 1/2 hour early, you could have waited longer for her. You needed to make sure a traffic setback that hadn't even happened yet wouldn't make you late. Everyone is supposed to be in their seats before the bride starts walking. You need to leave extra time for traffic, and it's a bonus if you don't hit it.

Used_Mark_7911 says:


You told her you wanted to leave at 11 am, and you still gave her a 30-minute buffer by waiting until 11:30. She knows this is a stressor for you.

If it’s a two hours drive, giving yourself a 30-minute buffer for traffic delays, etc., is smart, and I would not consider that “ridiculously early.” Nobody should be the AH who rushes past the bride as she’s getting ready to enter the church because they didn’t plan enough travel time.

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