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Woman asks if she was wrong to make her partner re-do his proposal; AITA?

Woman asks if she was wrong to make her partner re-do his proposal; AITA?


It's hard not to dream about the perfect, romantic, down-on-one-knee surrounded by rose petals proposal, but sometimes life can get in the way of the cinematic moment...

So, when a conflicted engaged woman decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As&hole' about her partner's first flop of a proposal, the juryo of

AITA I make my boyfriend propose a second time because the first wasn't good enough?

I recently saw a complaint from an entiled woman complaining about the quality of her boyfriend's proposal. I too have a story about a proposal that I thought was unsatisfactory and I was wondering if I had been the a%shole in that scenario as well.

Back when my now husband and I where dating we had been discussing getting married. At this point in the story we had been together for 3-4 years. After many long talks we decided we should stop procrastinating and finally tie the knot.

We knew we both loved each other and we had been living together for most of the time we had been together so we weren't going to be caught off guard by any odd habits either of us possessed.

I only had one stipulation to us getting married, I wanted a romantic proposal. I told him that I didn't need a ring, I'm not very materialistic, and I didn't want him to spend a bunch of money or anything crazy.

I just wanted a heartfelt proposal so I would have an awesome memory to reminisce on and a good story to share with loved ones and close friends. He was enthusiastic about this idea and promised to surprise me with something soon.

One week goes by and I'm getting excited because I know he will probably be doing something soon...Two weeks go by and I start to get a little worried that he's planning something huge...

Three weeks go by and now I'm panicking that he's changed his mind about marrying me and he just doesn't know how to tell me!

Fourth week rolls around and we go to a car show, he's really in to cars of any kind.

We have a fun time looking at all the classics and at the end of the day we are hot and tired and decide to head home. On the way to the car in the parking lot he touches my shoulder to catch my attention and says 'Hey babe? Will you marry me?'

My jaw drops. I ask 'Is THAT your proposal?' He says 'uhhh yeah?' I was so incredibly mad. This whole time I was so excited and then worried and that's the best he can come up with?!

I started to cry from the release of anxiety that had built up from thinking he had changed his mind and from the anger of his idea of a heart felt proposal. In between hiccups and tears I tell him 'NO! Try again!' And storm off to the car.

After I calmed down I explained why I was upset because he was truly baffled and gave him a few examples of what I had been expecting, some nice flower, or a small I love you kinda speech, maybe a nice dinner, ect. He apologized and promised to try again.

He eventually did manage to propose and even surprised me with a custom ring, even though I told him I didn't need one.

We have now been together for eleven years so I guess he wasn't too mad that I rejected his first proposal, but Reddit was I an ahole?

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this proposal drama:

jimfish98 said:

NTA- even as a guy I see what he did as just “mailing it in”. There was zero effort and obviously he wasn’t listening to what you

Saying no tells him that’s not cool to do with you and sets a tone for marriage so he isn’t mailing that in too. Some may say harsh but I don’t see it as bad.

Myfourcats1 said:

NTA. That was lame. Every woman I know has told the story of how her husband proposed to anyone that will listen. Is that really the story he wants you telling everyone? Lame.

TirNannyOgg said:

NTA. If it makes you feel any better, a dog decided to take a sh8t on the beach just a few yards away from us right when my husband proposed to me and we both just kind of awkwardly waited for it to finish its business and for the owner to clean it up.

AnonymousRooster said:

NTA. You literally asked for the most relaxed and low key $0 proposal ever and he couldn't have even be bothered to do that. Your expectations are at 0 and he still scored negative points. Writing it on a fridge dry erase board sounds more romantic than what you got.

SianTheSheep said:

NTA, he obviously meant well but even as someone who doesn't reckon much to big proposals, I think I'd at least have a bit of a strop if it was done in the middle of a car park.

Maybe you got your hopes up a bit too much if it lead to that reaction, but he did say he wanted to surprise you so I feel a lot of people would in that position. Still, at least it all sounds like it worked out in the end!

Note to anyone in need of a proposal round two: ask and you shall receive...

Sources: Reddit
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