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Sister asks bride to 'chill' on adding expenses to bachelorette, '$130 dinner;' AITA?

Sister asks bride to 'chill' on adding expenses to bachelorette, '$130 dinner;' AITA?


Being in a wedding can add up when you include a destination bachelorette party, a bridal shower, the wedding gift, the bridesmaid dress and the travel expenses for the wedding day...

While everyone wants the bride to relax and enjoy this exciting time in her life, it's not always in everyone's budget to buy six outfits they'll never wear again that have "Bride Squad" stamped on them.

So, when a conflicted woman decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's "Am I the As&hole" about her sister's bachelorette party expectations, people were ready to weigh in.

AITA for telling my sister to chill on adding expenses to her bachelorette trip?

My sister’s (24f) bachelorette trip is getting way out of hand. My wife (25f) is in her wedding party and will be attending the trip. When the trip was first planned there was a total cost of around $500.

$300 for the lodging and $75 ish for travel and then a wild cost (in my opinion) of $130 per person for a single meal. There will be other small costs of traveling but in the ball park of 500-600 which is pretty typical for a wedding party trip.

My sister was also initially planning for them to have 2 themed outfits which is pretty typical and expected. My wife already had these outfits so we were all set.

Everything was fine I was a little bit annoyed with the $130 dinner, but whatever it’s something she wanted to do for a good memory so we went ahead and paid for it all no questions asked.

However, this week (3 weeks before the trip) things changed. She has now decided there will be 6, yes 6 matching/themed outfits for a two day trip.

My wife does not have any of these additional outfits and we are having to purchase them to a tune of another $250 plus an additional gift of lingerie which will be ~$50. Making the total for the trip well over $800.

I texted her yesterday and asked her if she could stop adding unexpected expenses to her bachelorette and she got very upset and started accusing me of telling her how her trip should be.

Which honestly I did not explicitly say, however I am annoyed by the 6 matching required outfits for 2 days being the reason more money was added. So maybe she is right. Either way am I the ahole?

Later, the post was edited to include:

I am making an Edit to clarify my wife's thoughts on the situation, because the comment explaining her thoughts got buried. My wife is very much on the same page as me on this.

It’s actually my wife who had most of the issue with the costs of the trip originally and we are very much in agreement on how ludicrous my sisters requests are. I explained the post from my perspective because that was the clearest way to do so.

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this mess:

Frustrated-llama said:

NTA. She can do whatever she wants for her wedding party as long as it is not costing or affecting others.

As soon as it involves someone else's money, they have a say too- 6 outfits for 2 days is ridiculous either way. If she is allowed to add ludicrous expenses to the trip, your wife is allowed to back out too.

FalconJaeger said:

NTA. Her wedding, her day. But she's not in control of what comes out of her guests bank accounts. And I'm always baffled by these expenses for wedding guests. $800, thats about 70% of my monthly fix costs.

CrystalQueen3000 said:

NTA. Some people lose all common decency and reason when they get engaged. Your sister's requests are too much.

pbd1996 said:

NTA. It’s good that you’re saying something to your sister because, most likely, all the attendees feel the way you do. They’re probably just too uncomfortable to say something.

I have so many friends who complain to me about the ridiculous expenses/expectations their other friends/brides to be, put in place.

It’s crazy to ask somebody to spend that much just on a bachelorette trip PLUS take time off work to attend. That doesn’t even account for expenses/time spend on the wedding itself and other events. Not to mention, lots of people go to multiple weddings a year.

Peskypoints said:

NTA. I am concerned for the bride that her two day trip will have more time spent getting ready for, rather than enjoying the activities.

DangerLime113 said:

NTA; cancel, she can keep the $130 as her wedding gift. Hope she has fun in her 6 matching outfits with the maybe 1-2 resentful friends that will be too embarrassed to cancel. She needs WAY too much fawning and attention.

Downtown-Mail-811 said:

NTA. I will never understand how anyone can feel comfortable spending other people’s money, especially on things that don’t matter.

Note to brides everywhere: please chill. There's no photoshoot for Instagram that's worth putting your friends and family members into debt.

Sources: Reddit
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