Woman asks if she'd be a 'terrible friend' for skipping luxury destination wedding.
Destination weddings can cause waves between family members and friends, as shoveling out stacks of cash for a forced vacation isn't in everyone's budget...
So, when a conflicted woman decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about her friend's expensive wedding plans, people were ready to roast this bride.
AITA (Am I the As*hole) for refusing to attend my friend's destination wedding?
My (23F) friend, Sarah (25F), and I have been close since childhood. We've shared many memories and experiences, and I consider her like a sister. Recently, Sarah got engaged to her long-term partner, Mark (28M), and they began planning a destination wedding at a luxurious resort in a tropical paradise.
When Sarah first announced the destination, I was excited for her and congratulated her wholeheartedly. However, as the wedding details unfolded, I realized attending the wedding would be a significant financial burden for me.
The cost of travel, accommodation, and other expenses would eat into my savings and disrupt my budget for the foreseeable future.
I work a stable job and can afford my everyday expenses comfortably, but splurging on an extravagant destination wedding just isn't feasible for me at this point in my life. Moreover, I have other financial goals, such as saving for a down payment on a house, that I need to prioritize.
When Sarah asked if I would be attending, I expressed my genuine happiness for her but explained my financial constraints and regretfully declined. I assured her that I would be there in spirit and would celebrate with them during their reception back home.
Sarah didn't take my refusal well and accused me of not caring enough about our friendship to make an effort. She argued that if I truly valued our friendship, I would find a way to be present on her special day.
She pointed out that other friends were making sacrifices to attend, and it hurt her that I wasn't doing the same.
I tried to explain my position, emphasizing that it wasn't about not caring, but rather about being responsible with my finances. However, Sarah remained upset and distant, making me feel like a terrible friend.
Now I'm conflicted, wondering if I made the right decision. I don't want to lose our friendship, but I also don't want to put myself in a difficult financial situation for a one-day event. Reddit, AITA for refusing to attend my friend's destination wedding?
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say:
apexintelligence said:
Friends don’t push other friends to extend themselves beyond financial boundaries, NTA.
Prom_queen52 said:
NTA - one of the downsides of a destination wedding is that a good chunk of people will not be able to attend due to budget/ time constraints. If it were that important to her that you be able to attend, she’d have a local ceremony. As we get older, we outgrow some friends, and it's okay.
DreamingofRlyeh said:
NTA. A good friend wouldn't demand that you screw over your finances to attend a one-day event.
Mysterious-Bag-5283 said:
NTA if you have destination wedding you must understand that not all people you invite will attend the wedding.
FastOpinion2922 said:
NTA...She chose a destination wedding and those are expensive. Hotels flights food transportation. It's called a invitation for a reason. She wants you there that bad she can cover your expenses.
censored4betas said:
NTA - Not everyone can afford destination weddings, and your friend is being selfish, not understanding your financial situation.