Woman asks if she 'ruined' cousin's wedding by bringing service dog of 'scary breed.'
Making a toddler cry usually isn't the goal for attending a wedding, but sometimes you simply must...
So, when a conflicted woman decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about whether or not she was wrong to bring her service dog to a wedding, people were dying for the doggy details.
AITA for bringing my service dog to a wedding when I know he's a 'scary' breed?
I 20F have a service dog for pancreatic attacks (I have hypoglycemia unawareness, I'm not not diabetic) his name is Angel and he's a Dobermann.
I love him so much and he helps me avoid passing out and alerts when I need to eat sugar, he's playful and has never bitten anyone, though he looks a bit imposing, he has been properly trained and is a real service animal. His tasks keep me safe and prevent me from getting hurt.
My cousin 26F (Chloe) is a health nut. No sugar, no fat, no carbs kind of health nut. She knows about my health issues, but asked me not to bring my service dog because of his breed, that he'd scare her and her future husband's kids, as her toddler is afraid of large dogs, having been barked at in his face.
I made the wedding slide show and all of the music was on my laptop so I had to be there. I told her I had to either be provided with sugar all night, in the form of several soft drinks or candies, or I would bring Angel with me along with my own sugar and she told me 'Fine, but you can live without junk for one night.'
I received a copy of the menu the morning of the wedding and surprise: no sugar, at all. None in the form of carbs, sweets, drinks or even in the cake with a large NO EXCEPTIONS written underneath. So I got dressed, filled my computer case with gummy candies (helping me to regulate sugar quickly) and harnessed up Angel for the night.
I sat in the back away from the aisle through the ceremony and nobody noticed Angel. I then went to the venue for the reception and set up my music stand and the slideshow, the venue legally has to allow service animals and the employee was quite understanding, Angel alerted a few times while I was setting up and I was able to eat what I needed.
When Chloe and her husband, and their kids arrived, she freaked seeing Angel (People had noticed him this time and I had explained he's a service animal).
Her youngest (a toddler also noticed and started to cry as he is scared of big dogs.) He was in his vest and was laying down calm as could be.
Before I could begin the music for their first dance she was at my music stand screaming at me that I was selfish for bringing Angel to her wedding and I could have gone one night without having to be the centre of attention and I could be healthy for once and not eat so much sugar.
She kicked us out before dinner or the slide show, then sent me a nasty email saying I ruined her wedding and she expects me to pay her back for the missing slideshow and the music, even though I did her slideshow as a wedding gift and it took several days.
I feel horrible I made her toddler cry and I feel like a total a$s for bringing Angel, even though I need him on a day-to-day basis. AITA?
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say:
abldav said:
NTA. Depriving a family member of their service animal that alerts for health reasons is deplorable. Health is subjective; in your case, being healthy very literally is having sugar. Unless she'd've rather had you pass out at her wedding. I assume you'd have gotten called the center of attention for that, too.
ktempest said:
NTA - your cousin keeps referring to what you need to eat as junk and unnecessary. Your cousin is the AH. Because that's not okay. You can't ask a person with a disability to just stop having it for a day because it's inconvenient.
If you had that option, you wouldn't need a service animal. Your cousin is being irrational, selfish, and mean. Regardless of what type of dog your service dog is, you need him, end of story. Tell her that she's ableist.
Ok-Many4262 said:
NTA: she expected you to put yourself in an actual life threatening situation (no access to your service animal and to top that off, an inappropriate menu - I mean this is analogous to serving an allergen to a person with anaphylaxis).
Then to turn around and have the effrontery to claim that you ruined her wedding when she threw you out- nah, she can bugger right off.
Careful-Wren-3790 said:
ESH. Sounds like you didn't really communicate to her that you were going to bring the dog after she told you not to bring it. You should have been more clear that if you didn't have the dog then you couldn't come. But Chloe sucks more for being so unaccommodating and for demanding money from you.
Malice_A4thot said:
ESH. You knew how to moderate yourself without the dog.
BitchySublime said:
NTA but I feel you just shouldn't have gone. It was never going to end well.
Vanman04 said:
ESH. Her for not accommodating your sugar needs and you for bringing a dog you knew she didn't want there. She ignored your needs you ignored her wishes.
Character_Many_2780 said:
NTA, her telling you that you don’t need to “constantly be the center of attention” is exactly what she was doing. You need your service dog. NTA.
2tinymonkeys said:
NTA. She wanted you to go without sugar and without your dog. You made it clear that it was either unlimited sugar or limited sugar and your dog.
She created a damned if you do damned if you don't situation where you couldn't win whatever you did. You don't have that dog ir the sugar for attention or because you like it, you NEED it.
Give her a big FU and she can shove any compensation for a GIFT for crying out loud up her a$s. She kicked you out for having sugar and a service dog with you. Then she doesn't get to complain she didn't have the slideshow or music.
DarkSpeedster74 said:
NTA. Depriving you of your aid and not providing you with sugar, which you medically need, because she's a 'health nut' is ridiculous, and abuse. Also, people who judge dogs by their breed are just AHs regardless of the situation.