Woman asks if she was wrong to leave boyfriend's kids unsupervised in a hotel pool.
Mommy bloggers and parenting TikToks always seem intent on starting wars over different childcare styles, but what is the popular opinion on letting kids swim without supervision?
So, when a conflicted soon-to-be stepmom decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about leaving her partner's children unsupervised, people were quick to help deem a verdict.
AITA (Am I the As*hole) for leaving my partner's kids (9 and 13) unattended in a hotel pool to go the bathroom?
First time traveling with my partner (49M) and his two boys, 9 and 13. I get along great with the boys. They're awesome, smart, creative, funny kids. They can also be jerks, but that's normal.
I'm on the verge of becoming an official step mom, which would be a big 'step' for all of us...lately I've felt extra scrutiny from the three of them (kids and boyfriend), which makes sense.
Both boys have mentioned to my partner that I left them unattended in the hotel pool on this trip. I got pretty defensive when he brought it up, but perhaps I am the as*hole.
I grew up a latchkey kid in the 90s, and am often surprised at the lack of independence both boys demonstrate...neither of them walk to or from school a few blocks away, they can't be left home alone for an hour to run errands, or go to the corner store by themselves...it seems odd to me. But I accept that I may be old and wrong.
Anyway...I was watching them in the hotel pool. Small pool, not deep, but no lifeguard. My partner said he was 'going upstairs to get his swimsuit' and left for 40 minutes. I had to pee.
I said jokingly to them 'ok dudes, shallow end, no drowning!' and went to the lobby bathroom for maybe 5 minutes, then came back to watch them. Weeks later this has come up with both of them.
I'm annoyed with my partner for disappearing for an extended period of time when I thought he was coming back to swim, and I'm annoyed with the boys for ratting me out as if I left them in a burning car or something when I just had to pee and they are 9 and 13 and both decent swimmers! Argh! But maybe I'm wrong. AITA?
A 9-year-old and 13-year-old who have basic swim training should be perfectly fine when left unsupervised in a pool, especially a hotel pool where other people are around...
Pre-teens usually aren't the first to confess that they need adult supervision, so it sounds like these kids are trying to stir the pot between their dad and future stepmom. What happened to some good old fashioned 'bucket of honey behind the door' prank? Why tattletale on your dad's girlfriend for letting you swim without an adult watching?
Of course, people were eager to weigh in on this parenting drama. Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say:
thumpmyponcho said:
A 9 and a 13 year old should be able to spend 5 minutes unsupervised. If they can't, then that's a problem with their parenting, not you. NTA (Not the As*hole).
rmric0 said:
NTA. Dude doesn't get to ditch you to have some alone time from his kids (without asking) and then complain that you had to pee
nottodayoilyjosh said:
NTA. His kids are using this as a way to leverage power against you.
Theodora1976 said:
NTA they’re old enough to be left alone for 5 minutes and if the kids didn’t think so they should have stopped you from leaving, not “ratted you out” months later.
So, there you have it!
Everyone agreed unanimously here that this woman wasn't at all wrong to leave perfectly capable young swimmers in the pool alone for a few minutes, but she should be aware of this kind of behavior from her partner down the road. Good luck, everyone!