Woman asks if she's wrong to refuse to give money to sexist parents until they ask.
Taking the high road can be challenging, especially when you have to be more mature than the people who raised you...
So, when a frustrated woman who succeeded despite a complete lack of support from her parents decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As$hole,' people were ready to hear the family drama.
AITA (Am I ther As$hole) for telling my brother that if my parents need money they can ask me for it themselves?
My parents didn't think a girl needed an education so they chose to not save any money for me growing up. They had no interest in my education or extracurricular activities.
My mom's brother, Bryan, grew up in the UK and he had a different attitude. He would always check in on me and see how I was doing in school. He bought me my first graphing calculator.
Because I wanted to impress him I worked myself raw to graduate with honors. I was the salutorian in my school and recieved a scholarship to my dream school.
I didn't even bother telling my parents. I graduated from high school and moved to the west coast.
My parents tried to convince me to come home but I was quite happy for the first time I could remember.
I studied in a STEM field and was recruited before I graduated. My job pays me very well and I met my husband at work.
My brother also attended university and is an engineer. He does well for himself. Except that he is constantly giving our parents money.
My brother talked to me recently about how WE needed to support our parents in their old age. I said I had no problem contributing to them. However they would have to ask me for help. I would not volunteer it or send it through him.
If they wanted my dirty woman money they had to ask for it. He says that they won't because it would shame my father to ask a woman for money. I am okay with him feeling shame after the way he raised me.
My brother says I'm being an a%shole and it doesn't matter since my parents know where the money will be coming from. I think that my father, and mother, need to get over themselves. AITA?
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this family drama...
dcm510 said:
NTA, you should absolutely stand your ground on this. You’re being completely fair in expecting basic respect.
isuxirl said:
NTA. Your parents patriarchal view of the world is the real AH here. Also, maybe your brother is a bit for being a patriarchy enabler.
sunset-tx-armadillo said:
NTA -Your parents want your money, Dad needs to let go of his ego and ask for your help. The hell with Dad’s shame.
You made an incredible life for yourself in spite of their lack of support. Thank heavens for your uncle. Personally, I would not help them at all..but I’m petty that way.
cultqueennn said:
Nta. So your brother wants to get credit for YOUR money. If your parents fragile ego is more important to them than being able to pay the bills, that's on them.
mrjwwolf said:
NTA. Stand your ground, it seems you are only asking for your parents to give you the respect you deserve.
Your hard work has paid off and your parents should recognize that. If their pride is that important...well they made their decision. Kudos to Bryan for recognizing and fostering your potential.