Woman bails on 'girls trip' turned 'couples trip,' 'part of this is due to my jealousy.' AITA? UPDATED

"WIBTA for bailing on a 'girls trip' turned 'couples trip?'"

So my best friend decided for her birthday she wanted a Girls Trip — we’ve booked a cabin and got bathing suits and budgeted for food and stuff. The whole idea was it was gonna be just us girls: bestie, me, our other mutual bestie. We’ve been planning this “Girls trip” for months.

At some point during the final planning over the last two weeks, bestie‘s husband expressed his feelings, were a little hurt that he wasn’t invited. So now the husband is coming. She also invited Mutual bestie’s new BF, so now it’s two couples going and me. Note: I’m a lesbian and my partner is working abroad for the summer and all my other friends are busy so I don’t have anybody to bring with me.

I’m kind of sad/annoyed because this girls trip has turned into a couples trip, and the cabin we rented only has two bedrooms, so I’m going to be the odd one out sleeping on an air mattress.

WIBTA if I bailed on this trip? I don’t want a refund for my part in the cabin rental or gas money. I know a part of this is due to my jealousy that my partner’s not here and their’s are. But I’m also just really upset that this is supposed to be a girls trip now it’s turned into a couples trip and me.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

LiveKindly01 said:

NTA at all....They changed the entire purpose of the trip, no one wants to be a 5th wheel and they aren't out any money, they DO owe you because now instead of 3 people, there will be 4 (if you bail) and they absolutely should return your money.

I assume that the plan was going to be you would get a bed or shared bed when it was the three of you, and now you'd be downgraded to an air mattress. Hell no. Cancel, say it would be cool if you got your money back seeing as they will recoup their losses with the extra person, and that you will look forward to the make-up "girls trip."

catskilkid said:

NTA. They changed the character of the trip at the last moment. They are Ah's for that, but in light of the fact that they turned it into a couples trip on you without your input, they would be RAGING AH's if they did not offer to refund you.

OkManufacturer767 said:

NTA. They changed what kind of trip it is. Get your refund. They know have a four people split so should be able to graciously give you back what you put in. If they say you are overreacting, ask which of them wants the air mattress since it isn't a big deal.

SeekersChoice said:

Nta- also you should get a refund. They completely changed the premise of the vacation on you. Instead of bonding time with the girls you are being used as a piggy bank for someone else's vacation. Don't let them take advantage of you like that!

Extension_Wafer_5814 said:

NTA, sounds like a very inconsiderate move from your friends (even if it came from a good place of looking out for her partner's feelings) that I would be sure to address with them. Also, get your money back. If anything, now they still all pay less per person when you dip out.

Aurora_96 said:

NTA. I'd bail and still ask for a refund. If the men are coming, then the men are paying. Not you. You agreed to a girl's trip, not to a couple's trip. You have very valid reasons to not be okay with this. See it this way: at first the expenses were parted by three, now they can be parted by four, but without you present.

Kukka63 said:

Definitely NTA. The husbands are TA. They should figure out their own guy's trip, not horn in on yours.

UPDATE:

Thanks for the words of validation. It turns out the trip isn’t happening at all now for totally unrelated reasons so the whole thing is moot. However I would like to clarify some stuff. A lot of people made disparaging remarks about my friend and/or their partners and i’d just like to say —

I absolute adore everyone involved (except new bf i don’t really know him lol). My friend’s spouse is amazing and it’s also ok for them to say “I was a little sad I can’t spend your birthday with you." Did things change quickly to my own annoyance? Sure, but partner is not a loser or any of the other weird judgmental comments made about them in particular.

More than anything though — My friendship spans years and has countless more wonderful, supportive, generous, kind, loving moments with these women than any form of negativity or animosity. This trip was the actual first time anything real issue popped up for us.

I love my friends and was disappointed I wasn’t getting Girlie Time but I’m not going to throw away a friendship over something that’s frankly just kinda silly for me to be mad about even. I’m not deleting this post bc I don’t really care anymore, the situation is fixed and I still love my friends. The end.