Woman bans SIL from staying at her house, 'my husband said I was being too harsh.' AITA?
"AITA for refusing to let my sister-in-law stay at my house after she kept criticizing my home?"
So, a bit of context: I (29F) have been married to my husband “Jake” (32M) for 4 years now. We live in a nice house that we worked hard to get. It’s not huge, but it’s ours, and we’re proud of it. My sister-in-law, “Rachel” (27F), has always been a little…critical, but I brushed it off at first.
Last weekend, Rachel was in town for a wedding, and my mother-in-law asked if I could let her stay with us for a few nights. Normally, I would have no issue with it. I get along with Rachel just fine, but I should have known something was off when she started making comments the second she stepped into our house.
First, she immediately made a face when I showed her to her room and said, "Oh, it’s…cozy." Which, okay, sure, our guest room isn’t as big as a hotel suite, but it’s a guest room.
Then, when we sat down for dinner, she kept pointing out how “dated” our furniture was and how our living room “didn’t have any personality.” It honestly felt like every other sentence out of her mouth was a dig at something in our house.
The last straw came when she made a comment about our kitchen. I recently did a minor remodel, and she goes, “I mean, the cabinets are nice, but did you really need to get those backsplash tiles? They make it look so…busy.” I was holding back, but at this point, I snapped and said, “Rachel, if you don’t like it, you don’t have to stay here.”
She got really quiet, and later, my husband pulled me aside and said I was being too harsh. He said Rachel wasn’t trying to be mean, just expressing her opinions, but that I should have been more gracious.
He’s always been kind of a peacemaker, but I honestly don’t think I was in the wrong here. It wasn’t just one comment—it was constant. So, AITA for kicking Rachel out of our house over a few “harmless” critiques?
Here's what top commenters said about this one:
hottieabby said:
NTA. Rachel was constantly disrespecting your home, and you had every right to stand up for it. It’s fine to express opinions, but her criticism was excessive. You were justified in setting boundaries, especially since she was being ungrateful. Your response was necessary.
ComprehensivePut5569 said:
Tell your husband that he needs to have this conversation with his sister because when someone is a guest in your home, they are the ones that are supposed to be gracious. If he doesn’t fix it, his sister can stay at a hotel that he can pay for. NTA.
ACM915 said:
NTA- Rachel was trying to be rude and petty, and your husband is a total AH for not having your back and then complaining to you about how you’re being too mean. I would not allow her back in your home again and tell your husband that if he lets her do that again, he’ll be following her out the door.
Sea_Firefighter_4598 said:
NTA. Your husband is wrong Rachel has no manners and it is interesting that you MIL had to ask if she could stay with you. I wonder just how many relationships Rachel has ended with her opinions.
Total_Bee_8742 said:
NTA. Don’t you just love getting someone’s constant opinions especially when they are actually putting down your home? You weren’t in the wrong. The SIL was.
TwithHoney said:
NTA and I hate when people say “oh they don’t mean it they are just honest” BULL they know what they are saying isn’t kind. So the old saying of you can’t say something kind DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.
We teach children to ask themselves before they speak is what they are about to say kind or important (ie hey your shoe is untied and you may trip) if it isn’t kind or important then it doesn’t need to be said. Your SIL and your husband need to learn that