Woman's best friend's fiancé says; 'Do NOT attend our wedding;' she responds; 'But he's my FOSTER BROTHER.' UPDATED 6X

When this woman is baffled by her best friend's fiancé's demands, she asks the internet:

"My Best Friend’s Fiancé asked me to not attend their wedding and cut my friend off...What do I do?"

Note from editor: Some people got confused. OP and Brother are not blood related but foster related. This is my first post here so please leave advice as well for the future. I think there is only trigger warnings but if anyone notices any please let me know so I can edit. OOP's writing leaves a lot to be desired hopefully I edited to be easier to read.

English is NOT OP's first language. Keep in mind while reading.

Hi everyone sorry this might be along and crazy, but I really need advice and if I make any mistakes please correct me I am not in my right mind at the moment. I (28f) have known my best friend jack (28m) since pre-school we become best buddies he came from a wealthy family has amazing parents they are so sweet.

I on the other hand so not my mom was a single mother , my dad’s committed before I was born my mom then became an alcoholic, she goes to work then comes home and drinks all night she never cared for me, she lost her life in a car accident after she passed out on the road.

I was 15 at the time. Jack’s parents took me in they became my Foster parents I love them so much they were always there for me.

Jack was always there for me in everything he was when I had problems with my mother when I was depressed when I was sick happy angry my first heart break he was always here and his parents ranted an apartment for us in college jack even left the college he wanted to come to mine I love him so much I would die for him.

I see him as a brother one that I love so much nothing more never looked him any other was he was the brother i never had I see him as mine twin. But he has had the biggest crush on me he never confessed never made a move on me or anything but I have seem to notice how he felt.

While Playing truth or dare a friend asked if I would date jack i laughed it off and said no not in a million years jack is my brother and that is disgusting jack also started laughing with me.

I have made it clear I never seen him that way without actually telling him I know he likes me I think it will just be awkward and I don’t want to lose him. I have been in a serious relationship with 1 guy for 4 years but we broke up about a year ago and it had nothing to do with jack all the guys never really cared since they know how I feel about him.

Jack has never really dated anyone just hook up’s and maybe for 2 months and they are over but he has dated Sophia for 3 years now he proposed a year and 5 months ago...

they have been planning the wedding and I have been with them in the planning I am one of the groom women since I am not close with Sophia jack would always ask my opinion in things it’s been like that since forever.

I noticed Sophia did not like that so I kept myself away making excuses I can’t come along for some of the plans.

Their wedding is the 10th which is in 2 days. Sophia called and asked me to meet with her and we did at the park she told me not to come to the wedding because she knows if jack sees me he will not go along with the wedding...

I told her she is crazy jack loves her and he has no feelings for me she told me everybody knows how he feels about me and I let him go or date him I told her I will never date him he is my brother maybe not by blood but he is still my brother.

she asked me to stay away from them because the moment she marries him she will make him cut me off.

I am ok with that as long as he is the one to do that if he is happy I will be happy for him but I will not upset him at his wedding by not going.

She also asked me to stay away from his parents and that is when I got mad and told her they are also my parents and I will not leave them just because she doesn’t want me there if she is scared of me she shouldn’t marry jack and I left.

I really don’t know what to do he is my brother and they are my parents I don’t want to cut them off but I also really like Sophia for him she is really sweet and an amazing girl I am now planning not to go but I don’t know how jack will feel is the right thing to do.

Edit: hi I have made an update in a post I don’t think I will be able to add everything in this post thank you guys for the love and support.

OP's first update:

Hi again I just talked with mom and dad and they are not happy with what I had to say they have been trying to get to Sophia and jack but their phone are not ringing.
Just to make everything make sense a bit.

Me and my parents are at a hotel it’s now 7:30 AM. and I had the talk with Sophie yesterday the 6th. 8:30 AM We were all getting ready to leave because we live a bit away from the airport to the wedding destination.

Jack and Sophie are also with us but in a different hotel she said “they want to have a bit of alone time with each other before the big day” which was fine with us.
My mom is pretty upset. She asked me not to ever keep something like that from her and she thanked all of you for helping me out to do the right thing.

They are mad that she is trying to keep me away from my brother and making a decision for him but also for trying to keep me away from them she told me how she sees no difference between both of her kids and would never lit anything hurt us.

The 3 of us have talked and cried while cuddling on the couch for a bit just like before I know I live with them officially since 15 but I was always there I even slept there for days because my BM was out or working or really just drinking and it was not safe for me so we have been close long before she passed.

We are not just trying to get in contact with jack and tell him what happened mom and dad will talk with him I will also do but after I want to make a couple of thing clear in our relationship I have always been avoiding it because I thought maybe I would lose him maybe he will hate me.

Mom has also asked me how I feel about jack and they will always support me I told them he is my brother and nothing more.

Dad asked to make that clear for jack because they know he had a thing for me but he told them it was over they also said they are not really sure if he really is but the fact that Sophia is actually like that something must have happened. I will keep you guy updated thank you so much.

Update 2:

Hi everyone sorry I was a bit late will jack answered an hour after my update, my parents asked him to come quick for something important he came but Sophia did not he said she was busy getting a couple of things ready for the weeding.

He came and brought us donuts we have always loved them he noticed the moment he entered the room something was wrong he asked what was wrong and I really couldn’t tell him.

I have always suffered with my mental health and I have a lot of things I go to therapy for but the most thing is losing someone I really am afraid of that it’s the most thing I really want to fix I always let people step on me because I don’t want to lose them this was really my first time just not letting it happen.

My parents told me if I wanted I can go to the room and sit down and can come out after they talk to him. he has worried he kept on asking what was wrong I told him mom and dad will tell you and just went to the room. They did and he was upset I heard him call Sophia and ask her why she said that she said I was lying.

Will you guy have told me she will say that but I never really thought she would really do it. Jack just waked in the room and asked “did she say that to you” I told him she did he just waked out the room and left I thought it was really over I just lost my brother my best friend my twin I really never knew how important he really is to me.

mom and dad comforted me. They told me if he doesn’t want me in the wedding I will still go tomorrow and just have fun and just don’t go to the wedding until they finish then we can go on a trip just the 3 of us since I ready have a plane ticket. I cried a bit ate and then went back to my room maybe after 2 hours later jack came knocking on my door I was really surprised.

He gave me one of those big hugs he always gives me he apologize He said mom and dad told him I was upset after he left he told me he was not giving up on me but he knew the moment I said she did that I was not lying he was mad and just wanted to see why she would do that.

I asked why she is trying to push me away he asked if he tells me why nothing will change our relationship I told him nothing will change he told me before they started dating they were friends and he told her how he has liked me for a long...

time but I never seen him in that why and always trying to point it out he told me he knew I did not like him but he just couldn’t accept that and thought baby maybe I was just scared if we don’t work out he just didn’t want to accept it.

When he seen how serious I was with my ex he decided to start his life and not just wait he and her started talking and he started liking her.

He told me it was very hard because he would always talk to her about me before they dated but he really loves her and that is why he proposed he asked her what she thinks about our relationship he told her I had nothing for him and if she would...

like him to cut me off will not happen because I had nothing to do with it her assured her he had nothing for me anymore and she excepted his proposal.

He told me they were doing pretty good he never talked or did anything to upset her but the fact she went behind his back has really hurt him. She told him I should leave because what if he is not over me yet he told her he wouldn’t marry her if he wasn’t.

he asked how can she ask me to leave my family just like that after everything I went through and I only have them she said it was not a big of a deal I can find a another family just like I found this.he was upset and called off the wedding.

They are still together for now and will be going to her tomorrow and see what will happen. He asked if I ever liked him I told him no he cried a bit he told me it was so good to finally say it to he after I knew how he feels.

I apologise if I ever hurt him. I told him I really care about him and I would like to maybe have a bit of time just to get over this.

I need time away but he needs it more than me not going no contact but maybe having a pit of space no more going out to parties no more catching up dinners we will be talking and will only meet 5 times a month at our present place.

he has booked a room and is staying with us. Sophia has been calling and sending voicemail but I have not answered and just blocked her for now she doesn’t seem happy right now. I will update you with what jack will do it’s the least I can do for you guys thank you so much I really appreciate the support.

Update 3:

Edit: TO THE PEOPLE THAT ARE SAYING I LIKE JACK! Hi I so I had to make things about me and jack clear. we were 3 years old when we met his house was 15 minutes from mine we both liked mixing water with dirt and we just always played together jack/my mom met my B mom and and offer to take me home since my mom was always late so we became more close.

Mom would forget me a lot and I sometimes ended up sleeping there I had a couple of fights with my mom when growing up she was depressed she would always get the house messy and I am an very very clean and organised person.

We want to the same schools even college. We had our own apartment in college so we had a lot of free time together. we always go see movies together we go swimming in the lake all the time. And we even go to the gym together twice a week.

One thing is good I love food we both just get in the car and go try anything new we see we have been doing that for so long. I actually plan on going with him to different countries just to try the food.

We meet up and talked daily ever since we started working we haven’t see each daily and I was in a relationship so I really couldn’t we met up twice a week. And he was in a relationship so we really couldn’t met that much.

A lot of people have said I have feelings for him but just scared. I don’t think that I know I am always with him a lot we are to close a lot have told me that so did our friends they say I don’t know what a brother and sister relationship is since I haven’t had one but I do jack is my brother.

I always need to talk with him and I can talk with him all day he is every funny and we both stupid so we get along. Because of how people always say we like each made me once question it but I don’t feel the same way with him like I felt with guys I have dated.

Now a lot in my private messages are saying what is between us not a siblings relationship and now I am confused if not what is it I have 0 romantic feelings towards him so to people that do have siblings is this not normal??

Update 4:

I talked with her, I told her she doesn’t have to worry about me, if she feels uncomfortable we should talk things out. she told me she was wrong with how this went. She was just scared and did not mean what she said.

She told me everything was fine until me and my ex broke up, she just started worrying for no reason. Jack never did anything to make her worry about me.

She was stressed with the wedding planning. I believe her I know she is a nice person,she has never been close to me but I know her, we have met at family gatherings and went out with friends.

And if to be honest she gets really stressed. We talked with mom and dad and they are happy we solved the problem. Jack has also talked with her and they have made up,the wedding is still going to happen!!

(: But I still won’t go!! I did not know Sophia knew jack had a crush for me and to be honest it is for the best. I never meant to make Sophia the bad guy. I just wanted to know what to do. Jack LOVES her and I am sure of that!!

I don’t think he will take me as a sister even if he doesn’t like me I am just a close friend. But he is my family and always will be. And NO I did not ever have feelings for him really!! You guys literally made me question my life .

I never loved jack like I loved my ex so I am sure. And to the people waiting me and jack together, that is not happening never. I am actually trying to get back with my ex. Will thanks again to all of you.

EDIT: hi, will the wedding is cancelled again , I am not in a good place right now to say what has happened,but will when I am feeling better, I have cut contact with jack. Thank you guys again I just thought you needed to know

Update 5:

Hi a lot has happened, I own this to you guy. I want to answer some questions. Why I did say I will not be attending? Sophia wanted me to go after we talked, she told me a lot of things about jack.

He started liking me in third grade, I did not know when it started. And when I realised how long and serious he was . Honestly if I was in her shoe I wouldn’t like the girl my husband had a crush for to be at my wedding.

I decided not to go just to show my respect for their relationship. Sophia still wanted me to go and kept on calling me. Our flight was the 8th at 10 am ,I was supposed to still go because we, family and friends are also having a vacation there after jack and Sophia leave for their honeymoon.

I cancelled everything including the vacation, I was going to go back home the next day. I helped mom and dad with their luggage, and went to the airport at 8:00 to see them off.

It was 9 and jack and Sophia were not here yet, Sophia arrived at 9:30 started crying in the airport saying that jack left and hasn’t come back. We called but he did not answer, Sophia started yelling saying it was my fault, I should’ve just agreed to come to the wedding after she apologised.

I told her she asked me not to go and me not going is the right thing to do because I don’t want anything to do with their relationship.

She told me it was hard to convince him to propose and finally get married, and me not going just ruined everything for her. And just made him know that he still loved me. And broke things off with her. I told her “ that is a you problem “

She said I will always be the problem he still wants me, always talking about me, how I make him so happy, how my food is so good when she cooks for him, how she is not as funny as me, how he cried and broke up with her after finding out me and my ex were trying for a baby ,and she had to convince him to get back together.

I told her she doesn’t want me in their life, that is why I am not going to the wedding , and told jack to keep space and time between us, and now she is upset , And why would she ever want to convince a man to marry her, she should have left long ago.
I never know he still liked me after dating her , and now that I know, and tried leaving I am still a problem for her.

I told her she can marry him or not I will cut contact with him, but I will not be leaving my parents , and that is something she needs to know.

She stated getting in my face and yelling at me, my mom steps in, she told her “I am sorry for the bad things my son has done but just know she is my daughter, she did nothing wrong...

if you try to hurt her because you think she is the wall between you and jack , know i will not except you in my family, you should never ask and convince a guy to marry you, not saying my son is innocent , but you shouldn’t be with a man that has to think twice about marrying you.

My parents asked me to leave and we left together. We went back to the hotel mom and dad said even if the wedding will still take place, they will not be attending, and if jack and Sophia are both not fully in this marriage, they don’t support it.
I talked with them, they told me I was not wrong and I did the right thing by cutting jack off. even if they never wanted that it was the best for the both of us.

I than left booked me a room. jack called I did not answer, he couldn’t find me since I am now in a different room, he called asking to meet I knew I needed to face him but what will I say to him? “Oh yeah you fiancé just told me you still haven’t got over me after you told me you did yesterday”.

He sent me his room number if I wanted to see him I did go. It hurts to say I have lost someone very important. He asked if he can say what he has always wanted to say, I told him if he is going to say what I think he will then, he should know he has lost me because I can’t be his sister if he feels that way about me.

He still did it he confessed his feelings for me, it really broke me to be honest and what and how he said it just makes me realize, what an ass I am.

What he said is ‘Azora I have liked you since forever and I still do, I know we can work this out and try, please give me a try, I have been waiting for you to finally accept me for 19 years , I will not stop until you give me a try because f it even if you do not I know what we had I ruined it, so please let us have a chance.

I’m really broke , he has never cared for me because if he did he wouldn’t have said it. I told him no , he can forget once had a friend , and I will forget I once had a brother . I told him right now is the moment everything ended between us.

I told him it will be hard since we still have the same parents, and I will be keeping a distance but I will not cut them off as long as they don’t want that, I will not come to family gatherings, I will just go on days he will not be there .

He cried and kept on trying to hugging me, I told him he can’t control feelings, but after he told me he once liked me and I told him I didn’t , today shouldn’t have happened, the wedding shouldn’t have been arranged again.

I apologize if I ever did something to make him feel the way he does about me, and I apologize for not leaving the moment I realize he liked me, that I never knew he was that serious, and I thought everything ended were they started dating.

I went to my parents I told them, they understood everything and respected everything, I am still their daughter we will meet but not like before.

I then left to go home. And yes to the people who are saying I shouldn’t have stayed with him , I really did think he has got over me , and that was a mistake on my side, but I did nothing wrong to them, I did not tell them to date each other, I did not tell them to get married, I did not tell him to end it, I did not tell her I want him.

I have made things clear from the start, about not to go to her wedding , I did accept not going but I needed to tell him what she wants, I told my parents what their future daughter wants. I told him before he agreed to still continue with the wedding, that I will keep myself away for his relationship, we should both have space and focus on our relationships.

He knows me and my ex are talking about getting together. So I am not wrong for what I did!!!! I am tired of always trying to fix things and if I can’t fix them I take the blame!!!!! I really did remove myself a bit before ,when we were single, but now I know it was not enough.

So I just wanted to update you guys and thank you all sometimes life is not the sweetest, it really hurts losing him but it’s the best thing I can do for him. And to the people saying jack had feelings because I did something, I don’t know what that is...

but I never flirted with him, we just talked played games watched movies, just like every other guy friends I had , except that me and jack hang out more , and more closer to the others , for god’s sake I have known this guy for ever. Again, thank you guys so much!!!

Update 6:

Edit: hi, guys will this is my last update mom called, and told me the wedding is still happening , jack bookd an early flight and is still getting married. Right now for me it’s the 10th at 11Am. But for them it’s 10th 9 pm so if they still did want to get married the wedding has happened by now.

It seems concluded for sure and for OOP's sake I really hope it is. TLDR: adoptive sister gets asked to not come to Brother/best friend's wedding by future SIL. Due to Brother having a very long term unrequited crush.

Sister tells parents, who tell SIL she won't be accepted into family by forcing her way. Brother quietly calls off wedding first to deal with the situation. Then goes to Bride and talks to her back to Sister admits still having feelings and begs for a chance.

Then Sister cuts him out of life and does not attend wedding. During this whole thing Bride is begging to be chosen for 1st place as runner up in Brother's heart.