Woman blows up on husband after he calls her a 'bad wife' for serving chicken alfredo.
Being in a relationship means that, at some point, you and your partner will fight. It's inevitable, but the important part is to listen to your partner and ask yourself what is under that anger you're feeling. You can get through any fight if you can do those two things.
On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A**hole Subreddit, a woman gets into a massive fight after her husband snaps at her for cooking chicken alfredo.
She writes:
I (38F) am married to my husband (42M). We’ve been together since our early twenties and have three small children (all under 10). I do most of the housework and childcare, and I don’t mind, as I understand he has a demanding job and works a lot. He’s a mechanic and works anywhere from 60 to 80 hours a week, while I work as a hostess three days a week at a restaurant while the kids are at school.
He gets the kids on the bus every morning because he leaves for work about ten minutes afterward. All I ask of him is to do his laundry as his clothes are covered in oil and grime, and I ask him to pick up after himself because the kids destroy the house enough. He’ll help with dinner and cleanup several times a week at the end of the day.
Over the last two months, he’s completely stopped helping. He dumps his clothes on the laundry room floor, his half of the bedroom is a mess, he leaves cans and wrappers all over the living room, and he’s even stopped getting the kids up, which has upset them as they love their mornings with dad. He’s also been coming home hours later than usual.
I’ve been letting it slide as he seems very stressed out, but a few days ago, he snapped at me for being a 'sh*tty wife' for letting his clothes go unwashed. I reminded him that he always did his own laundry, and he hadn’t asked me to do it (I’ve been doing it; I just hadn’t gotten to it yet). He just grumbled and went to watch TV.
Last night I made chicken alfredo; we have it about once a week because the kids love it, and no one’s ever complained. Well, he b*^%hed and moaned through the whole dinner. He said that since I’m not taking care of the house, I should at least put a good meal on the table, that I’ve just been letting the whole family go to sh*t, and I should be ashamed of myself for treating him and his children like that.
He called me a bad wife and mother in front of our children. I told the children to go to their rooms and snapped; I screamed at him about how much I do for the household, that if it wasn’t for me, the place would be trashed, and he has no right to treat me like this over Chicken Alfredo. We went back and forth for a while before he left, and I have no idea where he went, and he isn’t answering my calls or texts.
I feel bad now, as I shouldn’t have reacted like that, especially because I know he’s just stressed from work, but it all built up and came out at once. I want to know if I was wrong for freaking out on him like that.
The internet has some theories:
Purple_Kiwi5476 says:
NTA (Not the A**hole), OP. I sincerely hope I'm mistaken, but your DH may be having an affair and setting you up as 'the bad wife and mother' to justify his behavior. That's what happened to me.
Special-Attitude-242 says:
NTA. But it sounds like something has changed for your husband. Could he possibly be depressed or burnt out?
Inner-Show-1172 says:
Oh, OP, I'm sorry. Something is awry, and it's not you. Couples counseling now, but watch your money and protect your kids. Sounds like your husband is checking out. NTA.
Sorry, this happened, OP! You might want to take this man to a therapist.