So, I (25F) have always had a bit of a rocky relationship with my older sister (27F). She’s always been the “golden child” in our family—straight A’s, great job, married with kids, you get the idea. Meanwhile, I took a different path. I struggled through college, jumped between jobs, and I’m currently working a retail job while trying to figure out my career. Not perfect, but I’m doing my best.
Last week, we had a family dinner where my parents announced they wanted to take the whole family on a vacation to celebrate their anniversary. It sounded nice until my sister started joking about how she hopes I can actually afford to take time off. She then followed it up by saying, "It's okay, we all know you're the family failure, but at least you're fun to have around."
Everyone laughed. I awkwardly smiled, but inside, I was done. This isn’t the first time she’s made comments like that, but it hit differently this time. After the dinner, I told my parents I wasn’t comfortable going on the trip. They tried to brush it off as my sister “just joking,” but I told them I’m tired of being disrespected.
Now my whole family is upset with me. My sister texted me saying I’m being “dramatic” and that I’m ruining the trip for everyone. My parents said they understand I’m hurt, but I should come and “not let her get to me.” I really don't want to go, but now I feel guilty for upsetting everyone. AITA for saying no to the trip?
Dresden_Mouse said:
Don't go, tell your sister at least you are not the "family AH."
ArziPeach said:
NTA! Your sister is a total jerk, and your parents are enabling her behavior. Seriously, "family failure?" That's brutal. Don't let them guilt-trip you into going on a trip with someone who actively disrespects you.
It's okay to prioritize your mental health and set boundaries. Their reaction shows whose side they're really on. Maybe this is a wake-up call for them to see how toxic their golden child is. Don't feel guilty; you deserve better. Stick to your guns!
cutexgianna said:
NTA. Your sister crossed a line, and you don’t owe it to anyone to put yourself in a situation where you’re disrespected. It’s totally okay to take a step back for your mental health.
PilotoPlayero said:
NTA. As others said, you need to set some serious boundaries with consequences. And this is one of them. If you bend, this will continue happening. You’re not the one ruining the trip.
RafflesiaArnoldii said:
NTA. They ALL laughed at you. It's probably not hard to think of better uses for your time than being around people who look down on you.
writing_mm_romance said:
Nope, jokes should never have an unwitting participant as the punch. That makes them not jokes, it makes it bullying.
Nessa_Vee16 said:
NTA. She was unnecessarily cruel. Playing it off as a joke and telling you to be the bigger person is just another way of playing into her mean girl attitude, unintentionally or intentionally.
EvergrineDiva said:
NTA. “Just joking” isn’t a free pass to be a jerk. If she can’t stop disrespecting you, then she can have her perfect little vacation without you. Maybe she’ll finally get the hint that you're done being the punchline.