Woman boycotts sister's wedding, 'her venue isn't wheelchair accessible.' AITA? 'It's just one day.'

"WIBTA for not going to my sister’s wedding because her venue is not wheelchair accessible?"

My (24F) sister (30F) is getting married soon. I’m very happy for her and there are no issues between the two of us. She really wanted to get married in a specific location and she got it, which is great, but that location is pretty much not accessible to wheelchairs. I have a significant disability (paraplegia) and cannot move at all without a wheelchair, so going there would be tough.

She told me that I could be carried up any stairs and then stay at the tables, but that’s not something I’m comfortable with. Getting carried is very uncomfortable and dangerous, especially when done repeatedly by someone that isn’t used to it, and I really don’t want to have to be carried to the toilets at a wedding full of strangers…or even worse, have an accident.

Then I also wouldn’t expect people to just sit with me while the celebrations are going on, but the idea of sitting there and watch for hours feels wrong, especially that after a few hours sitting hurts a lot and skin becomes a concern, but I wouldn’t ask someone to leave the wedding just for me.

I’m not upset about the fact that they picked that venue, it’s their day and I don’t expect them to plan it based on my needs, but I also don’t think she understands that it’s not as easy as she thinks. There are so many things that could go very wrong.

I intend to get them a nice gift and propose to maybe spend quality time together afterwards/before. One of my cousins told me that it’s just one day and that it’s very important for my sister, so I should make an effort and “get out of my comfort zone," but I feel like endangering my health isn’t as simple as getting out of my comfort zone…So, WIBTA for not going?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

toosheeptheorist said:

NTA - weddings are not court summons. If the venue is not wheelchair accessible, then you should not feel pressured to go. The fact that anyone thinks you can be carried everywhere and are expected to sit there is beyond ridiculous. It's not a matter of getting our of your "comfort zone", it's a matter of safety - for you and whoever they think will be carrying you.

Aide-Subject said:

YWNBTA at all. If she was a considerate sister, she would have chosen something that was absolutely wheelchair accessible. Sounds like this bride is definitely being selfish.

knight_shade_realms said:

There is a MASSIVE difference between "getting out of your comfort zone" and not placing yourself where you are 100% reliant on others! That is putting yourself in jeopardy and I guarantee that unless someone is "assigned" to you, you'll have to try to get people's attention all night long. NTA.

radiofreeamy said:

Definitely NTA. But I’m mind blown that she picked a venue that wasn’t handicap accessible when her sister is in a wheelchair. I know it’s her day, but damn.

Well-Done22 said:

NTA. Your sister can pick her venue but remember, her venue was more important than having you there. So if you get grief, feel free to point that out.

Left-coastal said:

NTA. It’s honestly dangerous for you to go. What if there’s a fire or other reason to evacuate? Plus you shouldn’t have be trapped in one spot all night.