Hello, everyone. It is my first time posting anything on here and english is not my first language. Please keep in mind I have been crying for the past 2 days, sorry for any mistakes. Me (24F) and my boyfriend (24M) have been together for almost 4 years. We get along okay for the most part, things like him losing something of mine HAVE happened, but never to this level.
I have had my dog, Milo (12F) for her whole life, we grew up together and it's really hard for her to get to trust other people. She has always been an anxious girl, but she is the light of my life and was always by my side even in my worst days.
3 years ago I introduced my boyfriend to my family, which is just my mom and Milo. He and my mom got along okay, but he did not acknowledge Milo in any way, which is fine...
I did not expect him to be all over her, considering she does not like that, but I still found it pretty strange because he said he absolutely LOVED dogs and to be honest, I believed that because he would always pet dogs when we were outside.
Any interaction for the past 3 years with her was limited, but Milo warmed up to him, she would greet him, go to him for pets (witch he sometime gave) and accepted him on our daily walks.
1.5 years ago Milo got sick, she had a tooth infection which was pretty bad, her whole right eye was swollen shut. I asked my boyfriend to take us to the vet, because I don't have a car. The vet took care of the infection, gave me some antibiotics to give her everyday and instruction to clean the wound that was left after the vet cleaned the puss.
For a couple of weeks I did not hang out that much with my boyfriend, I took care of Milo because she was not feeling great. One thing that stood out to me was the fact that he seemed pretty pissed every time I brought her up, talking about her progress.
Looking back, that should have risen some red flags, but I guess I brushed it off. Now that I gave you the short version of the past, this is what's happening in the present:
I planned with my mom to go on a short vacation, to visit my grandparents. I was talking to my boyfriend about this trip and I told him who would take care of Milo, my best friend, Alex (23M). My boyfriend then offered to take care of her. He was mad that I did not come first to him, stating that he loves Milo and wants to go on walks with her, I reluctantly agreed, considering this "love" for her was out of the blue.
The trip was supposed to last 3 days. On day 2, I was talking with my boyfriend on the phone and he casually says that Milo really likes to stay outside. For me, this felt off, and asked him what he meant. HE LEFT MY SWEET GIRL OUTSIDE, HOURS AT THE TIME, ALONE, AND WOULD CHECK UP ON HER HOURLY!!! Mind you, I live in an apartment and I don't have a backyard.
Me and my mom left as soon as I told her and we arrived back home at around 9PM. Since then, I blocked my boyfriend on everything and have been searching for my girl. I have printed posters, went out everyday for hours at a time and put her on Facebook groups around my area (if you have any advice of something more I could do, please let me know).
Now, he and his friend group say I'm an ahole because I have put my dog above my boyfriend in all of our 4 years of relationship. I know for a fact this is not true, but I don't have anyone else to ask, besides people that are really close to me and would be biased. I am sorry for the long post, my mind is all over the place.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Forsaken_Inside4196 said:
NTA. This is negligence when he had responsibility to uphold. Heck, he might have done this on purpose.
veelvetyheart said:
NTA. Your boyfriend's negligence led to your dog's disappearance, and his lack of care for Milo over the years clearly shows where his priorities lie. Breaking up was justified. Keep searching for Milo, involve local shelters, vets, and social media for broader reach.
EnchantedStarryWhis said:
Absolutely NTA. He straight-up neglected Milo and now she’s missing. That’s unforgivable. The fact that he left her outside alone for hours when he knows she’s anxious and has no experience being outside like that? That’s not a mistake—it’s complete disregard for her safety.
And now he and his friends are trying to gaslight you into thinking you “put your dog above him?" Yeah, no. You trusted him with someone you love, and he failed in the worst way possible.
I’d be out searching for Milo too, not wasting another second on him. I really hope you find her. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for walking away from someone who didn’t respect your love for her.
Anxious_Audience_743 said:
NTA. Maybe it’s the cat owner in me, but I think it’s absolutely delusional that your ex boyfriend and his mates think you should put him before your dog, who you’ve raised for 12 years. It’s also very clear to me that he purposefully neglected her so that she can run away because he obviously lied about being a dog lover and is jealous of the attention you were giving to Milo.
I just worry that there’s a chance that instead of leaving her out, he may have given her away to somebody. I would contact nearby vets as well, idk if it’s a thing but maybe they can flag Milo’s microchip so that if somebody does bring him in to get checked out, they’ll know that he’s a stolen dog. Honestly if it were me, I’d even get the police involved.
DevastatinDev said:
Definitely NTA. But I’d check all animal shelters in the area to make sure your dog wasn’t surrendered to one of them. I wouldn’t put it past him to do something like that. And get a new boyfriend.
mocha_lattes_ said:
NTA I honestly don't think he lost your dog. I think he sold her to someone or took her to a shelter. Contact all near and far shelters and rescue groups. Post on FB, Reddit, Craigslist, next door, etc about your stolen dog. Then if you find her and get the story call the cops on him for theft. Frankly I'd consider small claims court to sue him over losing her right now.
CarFinancial5440 said:
Sounds like you've wasted four years of your life. The BF needs to be left outside indefinitely, just like the dog was. NTA. Hope you find the dog. Hope you lose the BF.
UPDATE:
Hi, a lot of people asked me for an update, I should have waited until I got some rest, but you all were so helpful and you deserve to know how this ended. I have added a tl;dr at the bottom and please excuse any mistakes, I am exhausted. My ex came today to get his stuff, and some of you might be happy for what you are about to read, but he did not get a single thing back.
When he saw me he started begging me to forgive him and, thanks to you again, I agreed to forgive him if he told me the truth. He just looked me straight in the face and said "If I'm going to be honest, you won't forgive me." My heart broke all over again, thinking about the worst of things.
When he saw me cry, he told me I should get over it because she was already old, but if I really wanted her back, I should get back with him and when he trusts me that I really forgave him, I could see her again.
I was exhausted, hopeless and angered, and even though I wanted my girl back, I could not look at him, let alone be with him for however long he thought it took me to forgive him. So he left, not telling me a single thing about Milo.
I got a call some hours hours later and on the other end was a lady who found Milo on the side of the road. She told me she would wait for me to come, because when she wanted to pick her up she seemed to be in pain. When I got here and saw her, laying there, all my emotions flooded me. My sweet baby, even though she looked so different, was alive.
She is now staying overnight at the vet, she has 2 broken ribs and is dehydrated. If everything goes well, she will be home soon. I appreciate each and every one of you that took the time to guide me in this nightmare. Thank you again. I will be pressing charges.
Here's what top commenters had to say about the update:
Klutzy_Book_2986 said:
I'm so glad Milo is OK! I had a feeling he did something horrible to her. This man is dangerous and has shown you who he is. Please be safe and never let him back into your life. This is massive stalker/sociopathic behavior.
oopsies-2023 said:
NTA, I'm so glad this douche won't be in your life anymore!
RozalynFox said:
The fact she was found miles away when he's talking about "you'll see her when ~I~ believe you forgive me" is absolutely infuriating and I can't type out what I'd want to do about it without getting in trouble.
awdorkably_written said:
What a monster!!!! Please press charges! Not simply for justice, but so that it can go on record and that he NEVER does this to another poor animal or person!!
Aggressive_Plenty_93 said:
Thank god she’s okay!!! I was so worried about his little “you’ll hate me if I tell you." Your ex is horrible.
userannon720 said:
I am happy that you Milo has been found and returned to you and will be okay. Those facts have brightened my day. Your ex is a pos. I hope that you have many more happy years with Milo. Please give Milo a treat for me if it is safe to do so.