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Woman pays staff to ruin stepmom's time at bro's engagement party; 'Dates my brother & marries my father? F~~ NO!' AITA? UPDATED.

Woman pays staff to ruin stepmom's time at bro's engagement party; 'Dates my brother & marries my father? F~~ NO!' AITA? UPDATED.


When this woman is fed up with her stepmom's weird behavior surrounding her ex's (OP's brother)'s engagement party, she asks Reddit:

"Try and make your stepson/ex's engagement party all about you? I'll bribe the staff to turn the party into a series of unfortunate events for you specifically? AITA?"

My big brother recently got engaged to a lovely woman who makes him so happy. I'm thrilled for him, especially because he had a string of terrible girlfriends and messy break-ups before meeting this woman, and he deserves someone good for him.

One of those terrible girlfriends went on to marry our dad and become our stepmom.

She is, to put it as nicely and tactfully as possible, a b&ch. When she found out my brother was engaged, she first complained that she wasn't told at the same time he told his parents and siblings (which... girl, he's your ex) and then proceeded to try and make the whole thing about her.

She talked openly about how this new girl isn't as pretty or sociable as a certain past girlfriend of his. She called his new fianceé to ask her questions to make sure she was right for him.

She started referring to herself as a stepmom-in-law-to-be. She wanted to be involved in the planning for the engagement party, in which she wanted to make a speech. It all made my brother and his fianceé very uncomfortable.

I was very involved in planning the engagement party. My stepmom was so adamant that she had to be involved, and my dad asked my brother to let her, so to keep the peace we let her but I gave my stepmom random irrelevant things to deal with so she couldn't have any actual say in the event.

I had this woman choosing between eight near-identical shades of taupe for the ribbons to go around vases.

I made it clear to her that her being invited to the event in the first place was a courtesy, and that if she had any tact she would "be ill" that day. She, of course, showed up.

Wearing a white, floor-length gown (unclear if it came with a headdress). So I asked some friends of mine to run interference to prevent her from talking to the couple. I also talked to the staff at the event and bribed them to make her day a little bit difficult.

The photographer didn't manage to capture a single photo that included her all day, and asked to take the family photos while she happened to be in the bathroom. The bartenders gave her non-alcohol versions of every drink she ordered and spilled drinks on her twice.

The waiters completely avoided going near her with canapés or drinks. And when she tried to make a speech, the microphone suddenly had unexplained feedback and stopped working, then the music started back up.

Afterwards she complained about how bad the event was. Everyone else seemed to have a good time though, especially the couple.

Before we provide OP's update, which details some of the history between her and her stepmom, let's take a look at some of the top responses:

dryeffective writes:

I’m stuck on your father marrying his son’s ex. And, crossing his boundaries to keep the peace. Ironic.

bestad67778 writes:

That was masterfully done.

I can’t figure out why you have a relationship with her or even your dad. Dating and marrying your child’s ex is a dealbreaker for me. That is not a relationship I would want to maintain. At the very most, I would go low contact and let Dad know that she was not invited to events or anytime we got together.

Your brother is going to have to make some hard choices about Dad if he doesn’t want her ruining the wedding and every future event he and his wife celebrate. Is he really ok with her trying to be grandma?

I also don’t get how your father thought it was ok to bring her to someone else’s engagement party wearing a wedding dress. I would have left her at home.

went18 writes:

You as a sibling are a genius and I wish us all one such as you. The quick thinking on your part to divert and throw her off subtly without arousing anyone else’s suspicions, least of all the happy couple, was perfection.

However, I really have to say I cannot, simply CANNOT, get past the fact your father. Fd his sons ex, married his sons ex, allows his sons to ex to treat his son this way.

What is so broken in this guy that he deems it acceptable to treat his own children this way?? My f-g god dude. Both kids would be well within their rights to go NC. I would have as soon as he started dating her.

blumpum writes:

I LOVE this. Thank you so much for suggesting the PROPER solution to that age old problem: the woman who turns up to someone else’s wedding, wearing what is basically a wedding dress. Bribe the waiter to throw drinks over it! Of course! Why hasn’t anyone else ever thought of that?

silentumblweed writes:

You are seriously a wonderful sister!!I suspect you will have to do the same for the wedding. I love the 6 shades of taupe!

I am guessing you might want to invest in small bottles of things that stain for the wedding for dress drama. I can see her trying to wear her own wedding dress.

I suggest also sitting dad down and pointing out how what his wife wore to the party was highly inappropriate and that he needs to have a talk with his wife or his invite will be for him only and security will be at all events going forward if he refuses and you will be stepping up your game for upcoming events. He married her, he can deal with her.

And now, let's take a look at some of the details about OP's stepmom in her update:

My dad is clueless when it comes to that sort of thing. He didn't see how it could be a problem. He likes her so he married her. Nope! My mom "felt trapped by marriage and needed to be free." Yeah. She also a baby with my father and has been gently suggesting that her son should get more inheritance than the rest of us.

My dad has been shutting her down on that one though. My mother's not invited to the wedding. It's overseas and my dad has thankfully agreed to tell her she needs to be busy that week. She'll at least listen to it coming from him.

They dated for almost a year. It's bad but my dad is just clueless, not malicious. My stepmom didn't even get with my dad for revenge against my brother, she got with him for money.

One more reader wanted to weigh on OP's plan:

fitsups writes:

This is AMAZING. I am a professional event planner and I BOW DOWN TO YOUR MASTERY! I will most certainly be recommending this course of action for any similar circumstances in the future!

Looks like OP is NTA here. Any advice for her?

Sources: Reddit
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