Mom brings 15-year-old to 'child-free' wedding, 'my daughter was silent;' AITA?
Child-free weddings can stir up family drama for relatives who were planning on letting their kids tag along and throw a shrill temper tantrum during the ceremony, but surely a 15-year-old should be allowed, right?
So, when a frustrated mom decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about her sister's 'child-free' wedding, people were ready to roast her.
AITA (Am I the As*hole) for bringing my daughter to a childfree wedding?
I, 32F, have a 15 yo daughter. My sister, 35F, got married last week. I was her MOH. My sister said that no children would be allowed at her wedding as they are loud and noisy. I brought my 15 yo daughter because her aunt was getting married and she wanted to wish her well!
At the wedding, my parents were shooting me daggers, and my sister came over furious. She asked 'Who was I to completely disregard her rules?' I was confused until she pointed out that my daughter should not be there.
I argued, saying that the reason she didn't want children there was because they would misbehave. My daughter was silent, never on her phone, and was extremely respectful.
I left the wedding early and my parents are blowing up my phone with angry texts. My husband agrees with me, but says I could have handled the situation better. My sister is refusing to speak with me until I apologize, but I don't think I did anything wrong. So, AITA?
Later, the post was edited to include:
Edit: Based on the responses, I understand that I was rude for not at least checking in first. I should have verified whether or not my daughter could come.
There was no mal intent, but all the same I will apologize to my sister and daughter. My sister and daughter are very close, another reason why I thought she would have been invited.
Edit 2: The invite was a pretty generic card that said 'We hope to see you at our wedding!', with the RSVP info, dresscode, etc. I RSVP'd two people, my daughter and I.
I believe my sister thought the two RSVPs were my husband and I. My husband did not attend as he was suddenly called out of town for a work conference. There was a place setting, chair, etc, for my daughter because I RSVP'd two people.
I assumed my daughter would be allowed because my sister stated that she didn't want children at the wedding due to noise, tantrums, misbehavior, etc.
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say:
rhomboidus said:
YTA - Hi internet, I did a thing I was specifically asked not to do, AITA? Yes, you definitely are.
neoncactusfields said:
YTA - while I agree that a well-behaved 15-year-old isn’t a child and should be allowed at a wedding, you absolutely should have cleared it first with your sister. I think you played dumb on purpose because you knew your sister would have said no. And now you’re just surprised she isn’t letting you get away with it scot-free.
Slight-Bar-534 said:
YTA you knew damm well the bride would assume you and husband would attend...not you and daughter. You deliberately didn't care or you would have called her and asked what the age limit was.
FunnyGum0_0 said:
You could have asked? 'When you say childfree, what age is the limit? Can I bring my daughter? No? Ok, its your wedding and I understand.' It was that simple. 20 sec phone call.
You didn't do any of that because you're an AH and just wanted to get your way, and now you're hoping for random internet strangers to say you're N.T.A so you could rub it in your sister face. YTA.
dubyadubya said:
YTA. Personally, I had a childfree wedding and I wouldn't qualify a 15 yo as a child in that context, but it's not my call and it certainly wasn't yours. You didn't ask for clarification before bringing her and got defensive with the bride. Just apologize and say you should have asked and move on. This isn't worth causing further family drama.
RoyallyOakie said:
YTA...You don't bring anyone who is not invited, to a wedding. If you wanted your daughter to attend, you should have asked and discussed beforehand. This is your sister after all, right?