Woman asks if it's normal to need husband's permission to buy her daughter gifts.
I ordered my daughter a gift without telling my husband and now he is furious with me.
Msmagiclynne343 writes:
My daughter, (5F), is starting kindergarten tomorrow and has been extremely nervous all summer. While browsing on Amazon, I came across "First Day of School" chalkboards and bought one with chalk markers to use with my daughter the night before school starts.
They arrived quickly, so I set them aside along with a few other purchases, as I didn't need them for a few days, and the family was getting ready to go away for a Labor Day vacation.
Fast forward to tonight, the Monday before school starts. My daughter and I went to pick up some school supplies and then returned home to play in the yard pool. My husband (41M) declined to join us outside with myself and the kids (I also have a 2M) because the weather was hot.
He spent the next two hours playing video games. When the kids and I came inside at 6 pm, I gave them baths (it was 'my' night), and then I cooked dinner for everyone. After dinner, I sat down with Tegan to fill out the chalkboards so they would be ready for tomorrow's picture (and I also wanted a few minutes to relax!)
My husband suddenly stormed into the living room where we were sitting. Immediately, he started arguing with me about the chalkboards. He was upset because I hadn't asked him before making the purchase, hadn't shown him what I bought, hadn't informed him of the purchase, and hadn't told him what the chalkboards were for or when I planned to fill them out with our daughter.
In front of my daughter, he accused me of being selfish, inconsiderate, and rude in regards to his feelings. He even called me 'disgusting.' When I suggested he join us on the couch, he claimed he was still eating and not ready.
I reminded him that the chalkboards were about our daughter starting kindergarten. He replied that I had 'screwed up' by not including him. I once again invited him to sit on the couch with us, but he declined. He went into the kitchen and hasn't spoken to me since, despite my reminders that WE will be taking pictures tomorrow and WE will be dropping her off together.
Do you think I was inconsiderate for not sharing the simple idea of the chalkboards with him before purchasing them? The whole point is for our daughter to hold them while WE celebrate this milestone with her, without worrying about who fills them out.
Did I 'screw up'? I thought as parents, we were supposed to be caring about our daughter and her concerns about school!
Here are some of the top comments from the post.
BrightMarvel10 says:
NTA (Not the A%#hole), but your husband sure is. Is he always this irrational and controlling? This is a major red flag.
NicoleWarrenDiver says:
NTA. Your husband sounds like an abusive, lazy, childish jerk. ] If he calls you 'disgusting' in front of your child, it's only a matter of time before his ugly behaviour escalates.
He won't stop with you - your children are at risk, physically and emotionally, with this a%#hole as their father. Get out while you can and give your kids a chance at a good life.
spoiledrichwhitegirl says:
NTA. I don’t imagine those things are an expensive purchase at all. Everyone has to have some freedom to purchase little things like that. If he came home with say, a new Barbie doll for her, I don’t think you would flip out, right?
He is wildly out of line for calling you ‘disgusting,' and if he had a problem, it would have been appropriate to ask if you wouldn’t mind coming to the kitchen (or wherever) for a moment or waiting until she was in bed. There’s no reason to fly off the handle to that extent.
Unless you have tens of thousands in cc debt, this doesn’t seem like a big deal… and even then, his reaction seems wildly over the top for the claimed ‘offense’.
Thoughts? Feeling? Opinions? Sound off in the comments if you feel like OP should be able to buy her child what she needs, or if she should've cleared it with her husband first.