Woman buys engagement ring similar to her best friend's; 'I don't care that she's upset.' AITA?

"AITA for buying an engagement ring similar to my best friend's and not changing my mind after she got upset?"

So, my (27F) best friend of 3.5 years (26F) and I had a huge argument recently, and I’m wondering if I’m in the wrong here.

Basically, I was super excited about the engagement ring I picked out. It’s a cushion-cut diamond with a halo and diamonds on the side.

It’s similar in style to my best friend's engagement ring, but not identical. I shared it with her, thinking she’d be happy for me, but she immediately said, “please tell me your kidding” and got upset. I tried to explain that while the style is similar, there are a lot of differences (her center stone is a different shape, her bridge has more details, etc.).

She kept saying that it felt like I was diminishing her ring and making it less special. I told her it wasn’t a competition, and lots of people have similar ring styles—it’s not like she has a unique ring that I just went out and copied.Its a very common, popular ring style.

But she said she felt really weird about it and told me I have to go shopping again to find a different ring, which I don’t want to do because this is the one I liked the most.

It’s been 48 hours, and she hasn’t texted or apologized. I’ve been ready to move on and not bring it up again, but I feel like she’s still holding onto it.

So, AITA for sticking with the engagement ring I like and not seeing why this is such a big deal? Or should I have been more understanding of her feelings and considered picking a different style?

EDIT: my boyfriend and I went shopping over the weekend to pick out which style I liked. I haven’t even been proposed to yet, but he’s planning on doing it soon.

This argument came up over me sending her which one I picked out that I liked the most. My friend has been engaged for 3 years and is starting to plan her wedding for next year but hasn’t set a date yet.

I’m planning to get a 1 karat center diamond and she has a 2 karat diamond, so mine is significantly smaller than hers. The halo diamonds on mine are also smaller and daintier. Her bridge is intricate with swirlies and mine is just a plain one.

garhyu writes:

NTA. You wearing something on your body cannot make her ring less special. Her ring should be special because it’s the ring her and her partner chose for marriage.

Especially since you said it’s a common style. I bet there are other people she knows that have the same style but hasn’t noticed - because who really looks at other people’s wedding rings as they go about their day?

grimmy writes:

NTA. I'm wondering why she took up such an offence about it though. It strikes me as a bit odd to have such a passive-aggressive reaction instead of being I don't know.... happy for your choice??

Even if you had taken inspiration from what she has as an engagement ring why would that be an issue? I think I'd personally take it as a compliment / even expect it to be a similar choice since we're friends and we probably have a lot in common.... surely there are other things that are similar in your choices for yourselves

That is of course, if it's as you say, and it's more in a similar style but definitely not identical. I would stretch to assume her issue is with something else... Can't say with what though.

agahs4 writes:

NTA. Good grief. Here’s a true story with some blurred details for privacy.

Years ago I had a client who got a new, GORGEOUS wedding ring from her husband. 3 carats, set in platinum. A fairly traditional setting, but kicked way up a notch. I LOVED it! It was my dream ring except that I loved gold.

Fast forward a year. I got a new ring and I totally copied hers. Only mine was 1.5 carats and set in 18k gold. Also a fortune less side diamonds. LOL. A fortune less, period. We joked and called my ring Suzy Lite.

FFS. In my younger years I was obsessed with wedding rings. I have looked at a bazillion of them. Every style imaginable. There are really only a handful of styles. Sure, tweak this, add that. Platinum, gold, white gold. Size, shape, cut, and clarity of the rock you chose. That’s it.

Your “friend” is being silly.

Ps. My ring, custom made, almost 20 years ago, was 13k. When we divorced, I was lucky enough to get 5k for it in a private sale. The whole thing is a racket. I should have gotten the tummy tuck. Just saying.