Woman calls off engagement over fiancé's weird baby comments, 'it's not that deep.' AITA?

"AITA for calling off the engagement after my fiancé kept saying I will 'give him a baby' once we're married?"

My fiance (31M) and I (25F) have been together for 2 years, and engaged for six months. We've both wanted kids at some point, but never set a specific timeline. Lately though, he's been making comments about how I'll "give him a baby" once we're married.

The first time I let it go but when he said it another time I joked back "So that's my job now?" and he just said "Yeah, you're the one making it." I told him that the way he was wording it was rubbing me the wrong way, and he rolled his eyes and said I was overthinking it. But he said it like that a couple more times later. I started to feel less excited about starting a family.

I told him straight up that it was making me uncomfortable after he said it like that again, later. He laughed and said "It's not that deep, that's just how it works." And in that moment, I was starting to feel done.

So I called off the engagement. He said I was being ridiculous over "a poor choice of words." His family got involved and is telling me that I misunderstood him and that he just meant he was excited to start a family with me. I'm wondering if I overreacted. AITA?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Cultural_Section_862 said:

trust your gut. it may have been a poor choice of words, but you know him well enough to know if it wasn't.

Nova9z said:

NTA. you're not even married yet and it's clear he sees you as a brood mare. regardless of his other feelings for you. the fact that you voiced your concern several times and have been brushed off would be enough for me to call it off.

Not even because of the particular subject matter. Purely the fact that i was explaining to my future husband that he was saying something that made me uncomfortable and he not only IGNORED it but REPEATED it several times.

Take a step back and put that behavior into other scenarios, ignoring concerns and repeating behavior despite clear communication from you, and see if you would be happy in that relationship.

m33chm said:

NTA. When people show you who they are, believe them. “That’s just how it works”. Um no it’s not. A woman doesn’t grow and birth a child to “give” it to a man. He’s basically told you that, if you marry him, you become nothing more than property to him, expected to give him whatever he wants whenever he wants it.
Run. Run far away.

Hahahobbit said:

NTA. The red flag is there. You see the red flag. Listen to the red flag. I promise if you go through with this and do have a child it will be up to you to raise this child on. Your. Own. A child is not property. It takes TWO to make a child “you’re the one making it” meaning you are also going to be the one to raise it, care for it, and I should only be bothered for severe emergencies.

Breezzywillow said:

NTA. His choice of words revealed a deeper issue. You’re right to prioritize your feelings and bodily autonomy.

glimmerseeker said:

NTA. You didn’t overreact and he’s telling you exactly what HE expects out of your marriage asap - you to “give him a baby." That’s the job he expects you to fill and that’s it. Don’t ignore this, he’s telling you exactly who he is.

Calling off the engagement should be a sign to him that you’re your own person with your own goals, but of course he just calls you “ridiculous” for not bending to his wildly outdated expectations.