I (27F) dated Dave (30M) for two years before we broke up early 2021. He had cheated on me with another woman, I heard a while back he got engaged to a different woman but I've been long over Dave so didn't really care about it much.
One thing about me, is I love spring time and I don't have like a huge binder or even a Pinterest board on my dream wedding all I know is I want to get married in spring. Specifically on March 20th, where we live it's the time when spring is in full bloom and it's not too cold or hot to have it outdoors and even indoors is a great option if you choose the right venue.
I haven't told many people this maybe my sisters,my friends, and Dave. Before we broke up Dave and I had discussed marriage and I told him about my dream wedding date. He was hesitant about it cause his mom has allergies but as it was just a discussion I told him we'll work out a solution when the time comes.
About a week ago, I hear from a friend about a joint Instagram post him and his fiance made (I've blocked Dave and don't follow his fiance either) it was a picture of Dave and her holding hands showing off her new engagement ring and underneath in the caption it read "🤍🤍 March 20th 2024".
To say I was shocked and hurt would've been an understatement but what was I to do, it wasn't like I could sue him for stealing my dream date but it really sucked that he'd hurt me like this after all he put me through. So I did what any sane person would and wallowed in self pity. That was till I got a call from unknown number two days ago. It was Dave and he was pissed.
Apparently one of my friends commented under their post about them stealing my date I don't know exactly what the comment said but his fiance saw it first and DM'ed my friend to elaborate to which she explained that March 20 was the date I always wanted to be married on.
And well, to cut things short the fiance didn't know and lost her sh*t. She was extremely angry with Dave and things had gotten to the point where she wanted to call of the engagement.
Dave called me screaming how dare I try to sabotage his relationship with his fiance and I didn't own the date and some incoherent stuff while yelling "it's just a date, it's a date" over and over again.
I tried to talk but Dave wouldn't even let me get a proper sentence in and finally had enough saying "Dave you did this to yourself. Not me, not my friend, not your fiance but him" and hung up.
I didn't need to block his number cause he hasn't tried to contact me since. His mom called my mom too telling how "I screwed up her son's happiness" and that I should do the right thing by talking to Dave's fiance and rectifying the situation.
My mom obviously told her off with a few not so nice words but now his mom and sisters having been going around calling me Dave's spiteful ex.
I really didn't know my friend was going to comment on their post but if I'm being honest I'm not upset about it either. I was a teen when I decided on the date and it was really special to me I would be lying if I didn't get some enjoyment out of this. So AITA for all this?
You're not TA as you didn't take any action, but your friend sure is for stirring drama. Nobody owns a date. If he remembered your date and intentionally selected it he's just a silly, petty little man. If the unknowing fiance selected the date it's a non issue.
I don't know that "he did this to himself" but as he was raging at you, I think saying that is fine. Honestly I'd have just hung up if he called, then blocked the number. He seems like a dramatic rage monster, if you truly didn't know your friend was going to comment you're somewhat sensitive, but not an AH. Your friend didn't need to get involved.
But who cares? The date is still available for literally anyone to get married on, even if hundreds of people choose it. Unless you and Dave have significantly overlapping guest lists it makes no difference. And rereading your post - you're not even getting married on that date. ESH, none of you are actually mature enough to get married.
NTA. You had zero influence on anything in that situation. Literally everyone involved acted independent of you. How do you not see that?
NTA, because you didn't do anything. The only AH in this story is that friend of yours stirring up drama. Why is your friend even following your ex on social media, I don't know.
NTA I wouldn't personally be upset cause you can always do your dream wedding. I would block dude and tell your friend it wasn't cool to say something and cause them drama.
ESH- you don't own a date or the idea of a spring wedding, your friend reporting back to you on ex's wedding is a shit-stirrer, Dave is an idiot for trying to take credit for the very common but well-known preference of yours, and the fiance is stupid for getting mad about it all. You all have the maturity of middle-schoolers and need to grow up before getting married.